The Nanny S01, Ep23 – The Playwright

Show: The Nanny
Season: 1
Episode: 23
Title: The Playwright
Original Air Date: September 19, 1994


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Favorite Quotes:

* Fran: It’s not my place, God will punish you.

* Fran: Brighton that was very mean! Now look what you’ve done, you made her wheeze.

* Fran: Do I sound like I’m coming down with a cold?
Niles: Constantly.

* CC: I don’t want to risk offending him, we’re on the verge of a breakthrough.
Niles: Oh good, maybe he’ll find a personality we like.

* Fran: I don’t think I’d be comfortable sitting on wooden balls. At least not on the first date.

* Fran: Jeffrey, I think I pulled a hustle muscle.

* Fran: See you did the right thing and God smiled on you. God, Maybelline and half a box of Kleenex.


Synopsis: Fran and Niles are sorting laundry. Brighton and a classmate enter to work on a science project. The dance is brought up. Fran works her magic to get Brighton to ask his science partner to the dance. At school, Fran arrives. Brooke, his science partner, brings up the dance. He acts like a jerk though. In the taxi ride home Fran continues berating him. The taxi driver starts in on Fran. Turns out the taxi driver went to high school with Fran. Out of guilt she goes out with him. It’s now the day of the date and Fran is feigning sickness. She fakes a fever and Niles busts her. CC tries to get Max to read her psychiatrists play but he refuses. Fran arrives at the restaurant for her date. Turns out Jeffrey has written a play. He also wants to do the hustle with her. Then he goes too far and proposes. When she turns him down he goes out on the window ledge. To convince him to get off the ledge she tells him who she works for. Back at the house, Brooke is getting revenge on Brighton by only doing a potato science project. Fran races to Max’s office for help. She asks him to read her dates play so he won’t jump to his death. Max goes to the restaurant to read the play. Max states it’s a brilliant and he wants to buy it. Jeffery is so excited he falls off the ledge, but lands safely in a mountain of garbage. It’s the night of the dance and he’s waiting for Brooke to arrive. She arrives and Brighton is shocked.

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The Nanny S01, Ep22 – I Don’t Remember Mama

Show: The Nanny
Season: 1
Episode: 22
Title: I Don’t Remember Mama
Original Air Date: May 16, 1994


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Favorite Quotes:

* Fran: Trust no one.

* Fran: I’m a fake? Let she who is without silicon cast the first stone.

* CC: Nanny Fine’s pageant has turned into a complete disaster. Niles break out the bubbly.

* Niles (to CC): You have no power here. Be gone before someone drops a house on you.

* Grace: Me and Fran are going to kick some country club butt.


Synopsis: Fran is getting ready for Mother’s Day. She’s converting some old videos for her mom. She asks Niles about how they celebrate it and finds out that Max tries to distract everyone on that day. This year they join a country club. There is a Mother/daughter pageant on Mother’s Day and Max doesn’t want them to be in it. He’s afraid she’ll be hurt. At the house, Fran and Grace are practicing a magic trick. Grace is going to saw Fran in half. While she is stuck in the box she talks to the kids about their Mom. She is cut in half and CC is thrilled. CC decides to be a jerk and spins her around. It’s now the day of the competition and they check out the rest of the entrants. The talent part begins. They take a break and one of the other girls comes to chat with Grace. Grace tells her that Fran is her nanny. The mother of that child goes into a rage over it. Grace is forced to admit that she doesn’t have a mother because she died and runs off upset. At the house, Max finds Niles juggling. He’s hiding from CC. She hunts him down. However, she falls on the oranges that Niles was juggling. Grace and Fran come running in and Max wants to know what’s going on. CC is delighted. Max goes to check on Grace. Fran then talks…too much. Grace tells them she is upset because she doesn’t remember her mother. Max tells her how much her mother loved her and apologizes for not telling her that more often. It’s now the talent show again. Fran and Grace do a puppet show. After the puppet show they head back stage and meet Patti LaBelle. She and her daughter are in the pageant too. She sings with her daughter. They win first runner up. At the house, they watch family videos of Fran. Max comes in with a video of their mother.

The Nanny S01, Ep21 – Frannie’s Choice

Show: The Nanny
Season: 1
Episode: 21
Title: Frannie’s Choice
Original Air Date: April 27, 1994


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Favorite Quotes:

* Fran: Everyone’s got their own life but me.

* Fran: Happy is not a good color on that woman.

* Max: No one could every replace you Miss Fine.

* Fran: Do we have to tell the children?
Max: I think they’ll notice you’re missing.

* Max: The incredible thing was you let her get away.
Niles: Yes, I was remarkably stupid, wasn’t I sir?

* Max: You think it’s easy for us to watch you walk out that door and throw your life away on that Neanderthal.


Synopsis: Fran is fixing a teddy bear for Grace. Max comes in in a tuxedo. Niles runs off to his butler’s meeting. Everyone heads out but Fran. Val pops over. Val tells her that Danny broke up with Heather and has been asking about her. She will talk to him, and be the one to do the dumping. Val gets Danny to come out. The kids are with Fran as well. He tries to apologize and fails miserably. He starts kissing her. She turns to leave and he proposes to her. She tells him she has to think about it. Fran goes to her mother to tell her the good news. But her mom thinks it’s Max who proposed. When she tells her it’s Danny her mom is not happy. They talk about dating. Fran is unsure, she just keeps thinking about the kids. She decides to marry Danny. Back at the house, Niles is very upset about losing Fran. Niles makes Fran tell Max she is getting married. CC is so excited she practically offers to pay for everything. Max is upset that she is marrying Danny after how he treated her. But he offers to pay for her honeymoon. She doesn’t want to tell the kids, but Max makes her. The kids get upset. CC starts singing and everyone runs for it. Max starts interviewing nannies to replace Fran. Max keeps comparing the applicants to Fran. Niles tells him a story to try and get him to wake up. It’s the day of Fran’s leaving. CC comes in singing and happy. Fran comes down the stairs with her make up bag. The doorbell rings and Danny yells through the door. He comes in for introductions. Danny and Fran have a little fight. Grace wrote a poem for Fran. Everyone pretends to be happy for her except Brighton. The truth comes out. Fran doesn’t want to go. Fran dumps him. Then he hits on CC. Fran stays and they all go out to celebrate.

The Nanny S01, Ep18 – Sunday in the Park with Fran

Show: The Nanny
Season: 1
Episode: 18
Title: Sunday in the Park with Fran
Original Air Date: March 23, 1994


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Favorite Quotes:

* Gracie: CC, how come your dog hates you?

* CC: If I had to like every one of my friends I wouldn’t have any.

* Fran: That’s PTA, Mother Hubbard.

* Fran: Oh, can that women ever suck up.
Niles: Hmm. If she came with attachments, we could throw out the Hoover.

* Fran: Too bad we didn’t have this conversation out in the garden, the plants would have loved the fertilizer.

* Fran: You don’t need a nanny, you need a hobby.

* Max: He’s probably calling to try and steal you away.
Fran: I might be available.

* Max: What a charming little snot, tot.

* Fran: A man like you deserves a good finger every now and then.

* Fran: Bartender, I think somethings wrong with your tv. I sound so nasal.


Synopsis: Max and CC are excited because Fran’s family is so large and helping fill the seats at opening night. Fran gives their dinner requests, but it’s not dinner theater. Fran says they won’t come without food. Niles prepares a picnic for Fran and Gracie to take to the park. CC walks in the with Chester. He hates CC but loves Fran. CC comments on the basket returned by one of the critics. Turns out his son goes to school with Gracie. CC wants Gracie to invite Frank Junior to the park. She doesn’t want to. CC, however, calls Frank Sr. and makes the play date. Fran and Gracie try to go to the park without Frank Jr. but CC stops them. The two race to Max’s office. Fran gets there first. She barricades the door and CC tries to break it down. At the park, Frank Jr. starts shooting things with his gun. She talks to a woman in the park, but that woman thinks she’s got a lot of kids until she explains she’s the nanny. Frank jumps on Grace’s back. She is finally forced to whack him with a French bread. Back at the house, Max is looking for a lost note pad. Fran and Grace return from the park but leave out the Frank Jr. drama. Max gives Fran a big guilt trip. Niles takes a call from Mr. Bradley. It goes badly. As Max asks about what happened with Frank Jr, CC comes in. No one is happy. Max is furious. He decides to invite Frank Sr and Frank Jr over for Fran to apologize. The fridge is still not working and no one is allowed to open it. Then Fran walks in and opens the fridge doors wide. The day has arrived when the Franks will arrive. Frank Sr starts insulting Max right away. Fran gives an apology but the Franks don’t accept it. Fran calls Chester as an excuse to escape. Niles brings out finger sandwiches. Frank Sr gets aggressive while Fran is holding Chester and he bites Frank Sr. Max stands up for Fran and Grace, as well as himself. Then he kicks the Franks out. Fran gushes over Chester. It’s now the night of the play and they are all getting a drink afterward. The reviews come on the tv. They announce that Frank is out with food poisoning, so instead it’s a fan review. It turns out it’s Fran. Max is so happy about the review that he kisses Fran. At the house, the repairman for the fridge finally arrives.

The Nanny S01, Ep17 – Stop the Wedding, I Want to Get Off

Show: The Nanny
Season: 1
Episode: 17
Title: Stop the Wedding, I Want to Get Off
Original Air Date: March 16, 1994


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Favorite Quotes:

* CC: How does Miss Fine know about her?
Niles: He talks in his sleep.

* Fran: Don’t be greedy, God will punish you.
[Miss Babcock walks in]
Fran: See?

* Fran: Well, honey, you’re marrying a duke. If it were me I’d be throwing leaflets out of the goodyear blimp and my mother would be flying it.

* Fran: Mark my words, Jocelyn don’t love the Duke.

* Fran: Well I got the song, “Baby you could drive my car.”

* Fran: She’s very sensitive. She senses doom.
Max: Miss Fine, she senses doom at Disneyland.

* CC: Maxwell, I just love weddings.
Niles: Well, we all want what we can’t have.

* Max: Miss Fine, where is Jocelyn? It’s time to give her away.
Fran: Too late, she’s already gone.

* Fran: Next time I get a hunch I say we go to the track.


Synopsis: Max is on the phone with his sister in London. She is coming to visit and bringing a man with her. Max and Niles are shocked because she’s never brought a man to meet the family. It’s now the day of Jocelyn’s arrival. The doorbell rings and Max answers it. They happily greet each other. Her boyfriend is the Duke of Salisbury. Her driver, Lester, brings in the bags. They all sit and chat. The pair announce they are engaged. At dinner, Miss Babcock arrives. Fran offers to help plan the wedding. They decide to get married the following Sunday. Grace is worried about being the flower girl. Some wedding supplies arrive with Kenny, but he’s afraid to stay. Fran shows her the dress but she is skittish. She asks her about favorite songs, but she comes up empty. Jocelyn goes for a ride and her driver Lester is the only one able to give Fran all the answers for the ceremony. As Fran and Niles talk in the kitchen Lester brings in Jocelyn, in his arms. Fran starts to become suspicious. Later that night, Fran wakes up Max. She tells him that Jocelyn is in love with Lester and that he needs to call off the wedding. Max is incensed. It’s the day of the wedding and everyone is nervous. Fran promises not to mention anything to Jocelyn. So instead she has a chat with Lester. As the guests arrive, Miss Babcock acts quite lecherous towards Max. In Max’s office, Jocelyn is getting ready. Lester sneaks in to tender his resignation. Before he leaves he starts kissing her arm. Meanwhile, the wedding is starting. Fran goes into Max’s office to find Jocelyn and Lester kissing. When Max finds out he’s furious. Fran has Kenny do some standup comedy to stall. The Duke discovers the two kissing and is heartbroken. Max and she make up. Lester proposes and she accepts. Fran ends the comedy routine and then replaces the Duke with Lester. Max walks Jocelyn down the aisle. Later that evening Max gives Fran the bouquet she caught.

The Nanny S01, Ep16 – Schlepped Away

Show: The Nanny
Season: 1
Episode: 16
Title: Schlepped Away
Original Air Date: March 9, 1994


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Favorite Quotes:

* Fran: If we’re going to Gilligan’s Island I want to be Ginger.

* Maggie: These lifeguards are gorgeous. I can’t wait to drown.

* CC: If this doesn’t knock me out hit me with the bottle.

* Maggie: I’m in hell.
CC: Join the club.

* Niles: If you’re looking for the hot water bottle, that’s not it.


Synopsis: Everyone is down due to all the snow. They decide to take a vacation. Max tells CC about their vacation. She tries to tag along but it doesn’t work. Fran waltzes in with a new bikini for the vacation. CC is upset that Fran is going too. Everyone is in the limo heading to the airport. They take one of Fran’s shortcuts and get lost. She asks to go to her mother’s house so she can figure out where they are. Fran’s mother is upset they didn’t call first. The weather has turned into a blizzard and now they are stuck there. Everyone is in the living room watching TV. Fran comes out in her vacation outfit. The family is trying their best to enjoy their vacation at Fran’s mothers house. The doorbell rings and it’s a teenager from the building named Kenny. Maggie and Kenny seem to hit it off. Max and Fran get something out of the freezer for Sylvia. But the meat has a note, and it’s not from her dad but the butcher. Fran can’t sleep because she is upset over the note. Fran and Max talk in the kitchen. CC tries to sneak into bed with Max, but it’s actually Niles. At breakfast the next day Sylvia and Fran fight. They take it to the kitchen but continue. Fran confronts her about the note. Sylvia tells her they just flirt, nothing more. They reach an understanding. That evening the group is watching Wheel of Fortune. CC runs in exclaiming the roads are clear and the airport is open. Everyone runs for the door. In the limo Fran notices Brighton is missing. He’s still at Slyvia’s.

The Nanny S01, Ep15 – Deep Throat

Show: The Nanny
Season: 1
Episode: 15
Title: Deep Throat
Original Air Date: March 2, 1994


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Favorite Quotes:

* Fran: Genug with the bells already! We’re not deaf!!
Niles: Until now.

* CC: Maxwell, you tease, you wouldn’t leave me hanging, would you?
Niles: No, we’d cut you down in a week or two.

* Fran: This is New York. You can’t get a doctor to make a house call if your spleen was sitting next to you on the couch.

* Doctor: I’m afraid I’m going to have to take those tonsils out.
Fran: Well unless you’re talking about dinner and dancing, they’re not interested.

* Fran: Can’t you all wait until they hang the tag on my toe?

* CC: Dear Niles, always so witty, especially for a servant.
Niles: At least when I offer something people take it.

* CC: I can’t show up without an escort.
Niles: Why don’t you just inflate one like you usually do.

* Fran: Chester Metfield, I love you.


Synopsis: All three kids are sick and Fran and Niles are trying not to lose their minds. Niles tells a story about his childhood. CC expresses concern about the children being sick, but it’s for her own selfish reasons. She wants Maxwell to escort her to her reunion. Fran comes into Max’s office and gets informed about the reunion. Fran starts coughing and everyone worries she’s coming down with something. She takes Grace to see the doctor. Grace is on the mend. But he looks at Fran’s throat and sees trouble. She has to have her tonsils taken out. Fran is settling in at the hospital for the operation and is nervous. Max tries to comfort and calm her. Grace gives Fran her favorite teddy bear to keep her company. Fran causes all kinds of problem for her roommate. The next morning the kids come to visit. Niles, Max and CC arrive as well. Max tries to cheer Fran up and offers to stay through her surgery. CC is upset because it means he’ll miss her reunion. CC goes to the reunion alone. It’s a miserable experience for her. Back at the hospital Fran is getting prepped for surgery. In her medicated state she makes a pass at Max and as she is being wheeled to surgery she tells him she loves him. The doctor informs them she came through the surgery fine. Max gets a little crazy over her drug induced declaration of love. It’s short lived, apparently, she is telling everyone she loves them. At CC’s reunion she is drunk as a skunk and Max finally shows up. However, everyone is gone. Back at the mansion Fran is recovering and Niles is sick. They drive the kids crazy with the bells. CC then proceeds to drink urine, thinking it’s apple juice.

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