Mama’s Family S02, Ep07 – Ellen’s Boyfriend

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 7
Title: Ellen’s Boyfriend
Original Air Date: November 17, 1983


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Favorite Quotes:

* Mama: Sassiness does not sit well on a young face Missy.

* Mama: These slides are boring my bunions off too.

* Mama: Presbyterian, huh? Well they run a good bingo.

* Mama: I hope this things in English. I hate it when you have to guess what you’re eating.

* Mama: I hope you two old bags live happily ever after.

* Mama: What was she thinking? I’ve got wrinkles that are older than that boy.

* Mama: If I give it enough time he won’t be too young for you.

* Mama: Lord, how did I ever raise such a pack of sex maniacs?


Synopsis: Mama is trying to set up a projector screen. Buzz and Sonja try to sneak out but Mama catches them. Fran doesn’t want to watch the slides either. Everyone is up in arms over watching the slides. Ellen pops in and tells them she’s not staying. The kids make a run for it. Ellen is going to a lonely-hearts club. Before she leaves, Vint gives her some spare keys for her new locks. Mama decides they are still going to watch the slides. Later, Ellen get dropped off at Mama’s by Glenn. He wants to meet her family. He’s taking her to dinner at Chez Ray. However, it turns out Mama is home. When she walks in Mama wants Ellen to take her to the dentist. Mama wants to meet the man, but Ellen runs out. Vint finally gets off the phone and tells Mama he won. They are all going to Chez Ray tonight. Ellen and Glenn are at the restaurant. He leaves the table as Mama and family walk in. Fran spots Ellen. They all decide to join her. Ellen tells Mama that Glenn brought her there. Ellen introduces everyone to Glenn. Fran notices the bag that Ellen is using and flips her lid. They all make a big scene. The manager tries to calm it down. Ellen has a meltdown. At the house, Mama is cleaning like a mad woman. Fran tries to calm her down. She goes on about the bag and Mama gives it to her. Ellen comes in and the two get into a fight. Ellen realizes that Mama is jealous. They make up. Ellen rushes off to go be with Glenn.

Mama’s Family S02, Ep06 – Obscene Call

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 6
Title: Obscene Call
Original Air Date: November 10, 1983


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Favorite Quotes:

* Mama: You trust a total stranger and you won’t even tell your mother in law the price of the toilet paper.

* Mama: May I suggest you start getting friendly with my groceries.

* Naomi: Would it kill you to show me a little kindness one time?
Mama: Missy, you used up your one time they day I let you in the door.

* Vint: An obscene phone call. How do you know?
Naomi: Trust me.

* Mama: I don’t allow no weirdos on the phone unless its family.

* Mama: We’re not gonna let some pervert cut us off from the outside world.

* Naomi: Recognize his voice? I don’t even recognize half the words he uses.

* Mama: Good Lord, if that blouse was any lower it would be a skirt.

* Naomi: That’s just the way I move.
Mama: Well, it’s the way most people Rumba.


Synopsis: Naomi is checking groceries at the Food Circus. Mam is waiting in her line and getting annoyed. Naomi keeps helping everyone else except Mama. Back at the house, Fran is reading the paper. Vint and Naomi come in and announce Naomi won the friendliest checker award. The whole family celebrates. The phone starts ringing and finally Naomi answers it. However, the person on the other end says some very obscene things to her. She hangs up, but it rings again. Everyone keeps asking what the caller said. Naomi tells a clean version of it and everyone is horrified. The phone rings again and they all stare at it. Vint answers it but the person asks for Naomi and then he hands her the phone. It’s the obscene caller again. Mama decides that she’s gonna deal with the pervert herself. However, the next call that comes in is actually Naomi’s boss. After he calls the obscene caller is back. Mama calls the police and gets told to change her phone number. Mama turns on Naomi and blames the harassment on her. Fran gangs up on her too. Naomi turns to Vint for support, but he doesn’t provide any. Naomi blows up and stops talking to the whole family. The next day, Vint is sleeping on the couch. While she tries to cheer up Vint the phone rings. The caller asks for Naomi and when Thelma tells her she not there he gets obscene with Thelma, Fran and Vint. Now they have some sympathy for Naomi. Mama says they all need to apologize to Fran and they all head for the Food Circus. Naomi is not interested in talking to them. She freaks out on several customers. The three pick out an item each to buy. They attempt to apologize while making their purchases. She finally accepts their apologies. They all head back home and the phone is ringing as they enter. Thelma answers it and gives him a taste of his own medicine.

Mama’s Family S02, Ep05 – Rashomama

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 5
Title: Rashomama
Original Air Date: November 3, 1983


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Favorite Quotes:

* Ellen: Mama, either stop volunteering to make the jam or invest in an air conditioner to cool off this swamp.

* Noami: I don’t know when I’ve had so much fun. I’ve never done anything like this before.
Eunice: It’s about the only thing you haven’t done before.

* Eunice: What the hell is the matter with you? You been sniffing those gooseberries?

* Eunice: Look at me. Are you in there?

* Eunice: You lie like a rug.
Ellen: You wouldn’t know the truth if it bit you on the butt.

* Mama: It’s the berries you tramp.

* Mama: Next time I make jam with you bruisers I’m going to wear a football helmet.


Synopsis: Everyone is pacing in the emergency room. Eunice is having a melt down over Mama. Eunice, Ellen and Naomi all start fighting. Vint arrives and asks what happened. Naomi tells her story first. They were making jam in the kitchen. Ellen was complaining about the heat and Eunice not showing up. But Euncies does arrive. Naomi is flitting around acting out of character. Eunice tells Mama that she was nearly killed on the highway. Naomi brings over the sugar. Ellen goes on about how she had to go out to route 5 and back for these berries. Eunice flips her lid because Ellen drove past her twice and did not help. But Ellen states se did not see her. Eunice starts choking Ellen. Naomi goes on about how nice it is to sit in the kitchen doing family type things. Ellen complains that Mama never let her cook. Eunice talks about how she had to cheat on her Girl Scout cooking badge. While they are talking, the berries start popping. Eunice and Ellen fight over the pot and whack Mama in the face knocking her out. Back in the emergency room Ellen and Eunice disagree with what she says. Ellen now tells her version. Mama is melting down from the heat. Naomi is acting like a child in this version. Eunice arrives and tells about how she was nearly killed on the highway. She has a meltdown. Ellen says she went out the same way but never saw her. Ellen continues making Mama seem senile. Ellen asks Naomi for the sugar. She has it but it’s the wrong kind. Mama wants to just chuck the project but Ellen finds some granulated sugar in the pantry. They all pitch in to remove the spots on the jars. Suddenly, Ellen announces that she will skip her tea dance. The berries start popping. Mama asks Ellen to get another pot, but Eunice and Naomi start fighting over the pot between them. Mama comes over and gets whacked in the face and knocked out. Now it’s Eunice’s turn to tell her story. Eunice comes in all happy. Mama asks where she’s been. So she tells her how she was almost killed on the highway. As Eunice tells it, Ellen bumped her off the road into the path of a gasoline truck. Ellen makes a threat. Mama asks Noami about sugar and she pours out her sugar packet collection. Eunice tells her she brought sugar too so that Naomi does not have to break up her collection. Mama is not happy with the berries either. Now the mason jars are perfect. Eunice and Mama continue getting along wonderfully. But the berries start to popping. Mama needs another pot to transfer them too. Eunice and Ellen start fighting over the pot and swing it right into Mama’s face and down she goes. Mama gets wheeled out but she’s ok. Vint asks her who hit her the with pot, but she doesn’t recognize anyone. Back at home, Vint offers to help Mama with the dishes. He throws her the pot and knocks her out again.

Mama’s Family S02, Ep03 – Country Club

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 3
Title: Country Club
Original Air Date: October 20, 1983


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Favorite Quotes:

* Naomi: A bowling ball just can’t disappear.
Vint: It can when Mama puts it in a safe place.

* Naomi: Maybe you’re daddy ain’t dead and gone at all. Maybe your mama just put him in a safe place.

* Mama: When I do find that ball I’ll put it downstairs in the middle of your bed. It can sleep next to your other pin buster.

* Mama: You could look up disgusting in the dictionary and find a picture of this.

* Mama: Don’t you think you’d look a little silly bowling in a diamond broach?

* Ellen: Well Mama, a good prime rib is supposed to be served rare.
Mama: I know that, but mine left hoof prints in my mashed potatoes.

* Mama: Close your mouth, I’m getting an echo in here.

* Mama: Oh come on Vinton! What do you want? Some two bit comic or the Mama Rickles of Raytown?

Synopsis: Everyone is searching the house looking for Vint’s bowling ball. Vint has a meltdown. Then Naomi questions Mama as to where she’s been. Ellen comes in as happy as can be. Ellen tells them she has been chosen as Woman of the Year by the Raytown Country Club. Ellen gets upset because no one is happy for her. Vint goes back to throwing a fit over his bowling ball. Ellen starts kissing up to Mama. She wants to borrow a diamond broach. Mama lets her. Later that day Naomi comes home to find Vinton laying on the couch. Mama comes downstairs to find the pair on the couch. Vint throws another fit. They all fight and Mama reveals she got invited to join the country club. However, it’s actually an invite to Ellen’s Woman of the Year Banquet. Mama does not want to go, but Naomi and Vint are going to go. Mama changes her mind. At the country club Ellen is taking pictures with the mayor. Mama walks into the banquet and Ellen spits out her champagne. Ellen is not happy when she finds out that inviting her family was a surprise. Vint and Mama tell the story about finding the missing bowling ball. The appetizers go badly. Then Mama decides to dance with the mayor. The meal is finally served but Ellen’s embarrassment continues to worsen. The mayor starts his presentation. He invites Mama to speak about Ellen. Ellen tries to get her off stage quickly but fails. Mama turns the celebration into a roast. She tells the story of Ellen as a majorette and the missing underwear. The three arrive home still laughing.

Mama’s Family S02, Ep02 – The Return of Leonard Oates

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 2
Title: The Return of Leonard Oates
Original Air Date: October 13, 1983


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Favorite Quotes:

* Mama: Well good Lord, why don’t you two take it to the frozen food section and cool it off.

* Mama: This rag isn’t fit to wrap fish in.

* Mama: Liz Taylor. Says she might tie the knot again. Nice to see somebody’s been married more times than Naomi.

* Naomi: Where’d you get that outfit? You rob a bank or something?

* Mama: Well I should have known better than to trust my head to a beauty school dropout.
Naomi: For your information I was top of my class in permanent wave.

* Mama: I have watch the Days of our Lives long enough to know that ex-husbands don’t show up at the door unless they’re after something.

* Mama: Where’d you get that jacket? Was Sitting Bull having a garage sale?

* Naomi: Oh Fran, have you ever met a man who swept you off your feet and made you go so weak in the knees that you could no longer tell right from wrong?
Fran: I need some coffee.

* Fran: But Naomi what could Lenard possibly offer you other than indulgences of the flesh.
Naomi: Two and one half million dollars.
Fran: I see your dilemma.

* Naomi: I’m afraid I might have left the solution on a little long.
Mama: A little long? You’ve turned me into a Q-Tip.

* Naomi: There’s no such thing as a free lunch. Honey, are you so blind that you cannot see what that man is trying to do?

* Mama: Naomi you could be rolling my hair while you spill your guts.

* Mama: Naomi would you get your fingers out of his hair and back into mine?

* Naomi: Thank you Ms— Mama!!
Mama: Oh good Lord.


Synopsis: Naomi is at her check stand at the market. Vint sneaks up on her and they start making out over her register. Thelma tries to use Naomi’s express lane to check out. They get into a scuffle because Thelma is well over item limit. Thelma reminds Naomi about her perm tonight for her reunion. Naomi winds up paying for the groceries. After they leave a man walks up with flowers and candy. It’s Naomi’s ex-husband Leonard Oates. He tells her he is worth half a million dollars now. He started a mail order bait business. And now he wants Naomi back. She informs him that she is married again. She tells him no. But he refuses to leave until he gets her back. She looks like she is going to cry. Back at the house Thelma’s perm is not going well. There is a problem with the plumbing and there is no water to wash the solution out with. Sonja comes in looking for water. She whacks the sink with the monkey wrench and it starts working. The doorbell rings and its Leonard Oates at the door. Naomi introduces everyone. Thelma cuts to the chase with him. He’s brought a video game system. Leonard wants her to annul her wedding to Vint. He makes a move on her. He leaves and Thelma yells about her perm. The next morning Naomi is in the kitchen driving coffee. She tries to confide in Fran but she warns her that she can’t keep a secret. Naomi tells Fran that Leonard wants her back and she doesn’t know what to do. At that moment Thelma bursts into the kitchen livid, her hair looks like a frizzy poodle. Vint comes up from the basement. He is shocked by Thelma’s hair. Vint does not help her make up her mind. Thelma comes back in. Fran spills about Naomi going to the Bigger Jigger. Fran races there to try and save the day. Vint is taking Thelma to the Jigger. The two arrive. They start having a dust up. Naomi starts setting her hair with beer. She informs him she isn’t going to run away with him. Naomi tells Vint that she is staying because he wasn’t jealous or suspicious. He trusted Naomi. Fran gets all teary at Naomi’s speech. Leonard puts down the whole family as he leaves, but Thelma sticks up for her. Everyone heads back to the house and plays the video game.

Mama’s Family S01, Ep09 – Mama’s Boyfriend

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 1
Episode: 9
Title: Mama’s Boyfriend
Original Air Date: March 19, 1983


Guest Stars:
William Windom: Woody Miller


Click either link to get a copy.

Amazon Click here to get a copy of Mama’s Family: Season 1

iTunes not available at this time


Favorite Quotes:

* Thelma: Well I’m sorry Fran, but Vinton’s not as good with numbers as you are.

* Thelma: Fine, then just don’t cook it. Eat a lasagna popsicle.

* Fran: Thelma, you are going out to dinner with a man?
Thelma: No Franny, a basset hound.

* Fran: Oh isn’t that adorable. Our Thelma is gonna have herself a fling.

* Fran: Yes ordinarily they keep me hidden up in the attic. The mad spinster woman.

* Thelma: I wouldn’t worry about it Vinton. They rarely steal pick up trucks without doors.

* Thelma: I ain’t gonna make the same mistake twice.

* Thelma: It’s my duty to get to Golden Pond before the lake dries up.

* Thelma: Vint, when your kids are over 60 they can do whatever they damn well please.

* Thelma: I’m having fun it’s just that dust cramps my style.


Synopsis: The doorbell rings and Mama starts singing a song. She opens the door and its Fran. Fran is suspicious of Thelma’s extremely cheery mood. Thelma tells her she is going out to dinner. Fran is shocked. Thelma tells her how to cook the dinner. Fran has a melt down at having to cook. Even though it’s just putting it in the oven. When Fran asks who is the woman she is going out to dinner with Thelma informs her it’s a man, Woody Miller. Fran starts hitting her with questions but doesn’t get any answers. Vinton sees her dressed up and asked who died because she wore the dress to the funeral. Fran informs Vinton that Thelma has a date. Thelma tells them both about Woody and running into him. Buzz and Sonja come in the kitchen and are informed that Thelma has a date. The doorbell rings and Thelma heads for the door. When she asks who is there he starts singing the song she was singing earlier. She opens the door and joins in. He’s brought her yellow roses. The family is frozen in the kitchen window and looking like a portrait. The introductions are only slightly tense. He is taking her to the Babylonian Roof Gardens. Thelma and Woody come back quite late. Fran comes down stairs and is a flutter with worry. After getting annoyed with the two Fran goes back upstairs. Woody invites her to a cabin for the weekend. He kisses her and suddenly she is excited to go to the cabin. Fran comes down again. She chastises Thelma. Then Thelma tells her he is staying the weekend and they’re going to a cabin for the weekend. She tells Fran they went away to a cabin before, so this will be the second time. But that nothing happened the first time. Fran is relieved, but Thelma informs her she won’t be making that mistake again. The next morning Thelma comes down happy and singing. No one else is happy because they had to make their own breakfast. Thelma and Fran get into a fight. And Fran spills the beans about the cabin. She runs as she says she’s going for the weekend. They discuss a few things and then Vint happily helps her to the car. Up at the cabin Thelma tries to keep Woody under control. As they sip a beer they start to fight. And she ends the weekend. Back at the house Fran did not cook the tv dinners correctly. Thelma comes back. They all devour her picnic basket.

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