Mama’s Family S02, Ep10 – The Mama Who Came To Dinner

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 10
Title: The Mama Who Came to Dinner
Original Air Date: December 22, 1983


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Favorite Quotes:

* Naomi: I am not jealous. And I will thank you to keep your nose out of my nose.

* Thelma: Didn’t you two get enough of the usual last night?

* Thelma: Well don’t just stand there, your company is here. Open the door and let the good times roll.

* Thelma: Why should your fun be ruined by my agony?

* Thelma: What I get is that you’re making fun of someone in pain.

* Naomi: Let me cut it in half for you, Ms. Harper. I certainly wouldn’t want you to choke.


Synopsis: Fran and Thelma are at the table working on her stamps. She wants a very nice heating pad. Vint and Naomi return home from their dinner party. Naomi is not happy about it. Fran suggests they have one there and Thelma cook for it. No one agrees on any of it. After some fighting and egging on, Thelma agrees to let them have a dinner party at her house. It’s now the day of the dinner party and Naomi is grating on Thelma’s nerves. Vint’s kids aren’t excited about going to the movies with Thelma. But as she is getting ready to leave she bends over to pick up some magazines and has a back spasm. She’s now laid out flat on the floor on her back. Fran and the kids leave her there and go to the movies. Naomi’s guests see Thelma and are surprised. She ruins the appetizers. She starts telling depressing stories about people who have died and other creepy medical stories. They wind up feeding her and the evening goes downhill even faster. Thelma then starts telling stories about the things Naomi has said behind everyone’s back. All the guests leave after a little over an hour. Vint is beyond furious. Naomi is acting as if nothing was wrong. She grabs the tablecloth and then puts the tv trays over Thelma and throws the tablecloth over it. She even turns out the lights and exits the room. Thelma keeps calling for Naomi as all the beer she drank is starting to get to her. She starts screaming for help.

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Mama’s Family S02, Ep09 – Amateur Night

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 9
Title: Amateur Night
Original Air Date: December 8, 1983


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Favorite Quotes:

* Mama: I don’t know why I let you talk me into this place. This is where flies come to die.

* Mama: Vint will you eat that chili before something obscene happens?

* Mama: Will you take that squeezebox and scram?

* Fran: Naomi I fear you may have created a monster.
Mama: Which makes you the bride of Frankenstein.

* Vint: Can you dig it?
Mama: I’d like to bury it.

* Naomi: Vinny Vegas? Does that mean I’m Naomi Vegas?

* Fran: If he wants to make a fool of himself that’s his privelge and birthright as a Harper.

* Mama: You’re asking for a second rope and you’re gonna hang yourself.


Synopsis: The family is at the Bigger Jigger to cheer Vint up. He didn’t get a promotion at Quick Keys. The Jigger is having a talent competition that night. The winner gets $100. Naomi wants him to enter with his Fred Astaire impersonation. The competition starts with a guy who makes faces. As others go up and perform, Vint starts to get nervous. Fran starts getting worried too. Naomi has to give him a giant pep talk to get him to go on. He puts on a spectacular show. He wins the competition. At the house Fran is practicing for their next performance. Vint comes home in a very flashy outfit. He’s changed up his whole act. He insults and upsets Fran. He gets a big head and makes everyone, including Naomi, mad. They all decide to not go but when they start to worry he’ll fail they race to rescue him. Mama tries to talk him out of humiliating himself. She corners him in the men’s room. Naomi and Fran follow them in. Mama tells Vint a story from her childhood. They have a moment but when they try to leave one of the men pulls off the door knob, trapping them. Everyone, finally gets home. Naomi and Vint head to their basement. Fran and Thelma sit on the couch. Fran wants to know what the men’s room was really like.

Mama’s Family S02, Ep08 – Gert Rides Again

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 8
Title: Gert Rides Again
Original Air Date: December 1, 1983


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Favorite Quotes:

* Mama: Well hurry it up. King Tut didn’t have that much wrapping on him.

* Mama: When you get old and do the same things as when you were young people think you’ve gone bonkers.

* Mama: If wrapping one present gets you this turned on Christmas around here should be a real barn burner.

* Mama: If she was any calmer she’d be a doily.

* Mama: Gertie how can you be old when you’re still getting offers like that?

* Mama: You are as young as you feel and right now I feel like a beer.

* Mama: Why do you talk like that? This isn’t Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood.

* Vint: Hey Skeeter, why don’t we play post office anymore?
Mama: You two have graduated to Federal Express.


Synopsis: Vint and Noami are necking on the couch. Mama comes out disgusted. Fran comes running down the stairs with a gift too. They all talk about Aunt Gert. The gifts are all for her birthday. Mama tells a story from when she and Gert were younger. Mama leaves and the two start necking again. When Mama arrives to visit Gert she is shocked. She doesn’t want to open her present because she is bored to death. The nurse comes in and annoys Thelma. The nurse tells Thelma about the birthday party. One of the male residents pops in and proposes some hanky panky with Gert. Back at the house, Mama is sad at Gert’s state. Fran, Vint and Naomi try to comfort her. Thelma goes to visit her again on her birthday and she still hasn’t opened her gift. Thelma tries to kick her into gear. She brushes her hair and makes her get dressed. She finally gets Gert to act like herself again. Downstairs at the party, everyone is getting restless. Gert and Thelma arrive at the party. Out comes the cake and everyone sings Happy Birthday. Next they have to play musical chairs. Thelma gets annoyed by the nurse again and goes after her. Thelma gets someone to play the piano and starts a Conga line. At Mama’s house, the doorbell is ringing. She opens it and finds Gert at the door. She tells them they partied all night long. Fran comes down and is shocked to see Gert. Vint and Naomi come in too. Gert tells them all about the party. Gert announces that she and Alvin are looking for an apartment.

Mama’s Family S02, Ep07 – Ellen’s Boyfriend

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 7
Title: Ellen’s Boyfriend
Original Air Date: November 17, 1983


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Favorite Quotes:

* Mama: Sassiness does not sit well on a young face Missy.

* Mama: These slides are boring my bunions off too.

* Mama: Presbyterian, huh? Well they run a good bingo.

* Mama: I hope this things in English. I hate it when you have to guess what you’re eating.

* Mama: I hope you two old bags live happily ever after.

* Mama: What was she thinking? I’ve got wrinkles that are older than that boy.

* Mama: If I give it enough time he won’t be too young for you.

* Mama: Lord, how did I ever raise such a pack of sex maniacs?


Synopsis: Mama is trying to set up a projector screen. Buzz and Sonja try to sneak out but Mama catches them. Fran doesn’t want to watch the slides either. Everyone is up in arms over watching the slides. Ellen pops in and tells them she’s not staying. The kids make a run for it. Ellen is going to a lonely-hearts club. Before she leaves, Vint gives her some spare keys for her new locks. Mama decides they are still going to watch the slides. Later, Ellen get dropped off at Mama’s by Glenn. He wants to meet her family. He’s taking her to dinner at Chez Ray. However, it turns out Mama is home. When she walks in Mama wants Ellen to take her to the dentist. Mama wants to meet the man, but Ellen runs out. Vint finally gets off the phone and tells Mama he won. They are all going to Chez Ray tonight. Ellen and Glenn are at the restaurant. He leaves the table as Mama and family walk in. Fran spots Ellen. They all decide to join her. Ellen tells Mama that Glenn brought her there. Ellen introduces everyone to Glenn. Fran notices the bag that Ellen is using and flips her lid. They all make a big scene. The manager tries to calm it down. Ellen has a meltdown. At the house, Mama is cleaning like a mad woman. Fran tries to calm her down. She goes on about the bag and Mama gives it to her. Ellen comes in and the two get into a fight. Ellen realizes that Mama is jealous. They make up. Ellen rushes off to go be with Glenn.

Mama’s Family S02, Ep06 – Obscene Call

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 6
Title: Obscene Call
Original Air Date: November 10, 1983


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Favorite Quotes:

* Mama: You trust a total stranger and you won’t even tell your mother in law the price of the toilet paper.

* Mama: May I suggest you start getting friendly with my groceries.

* Naomi: Would it kill you to show me a little kindness one time?
Mama: Missy, you used up your one time they day I let you in the door.

* Vint: An obscene phone call. How do you know?
Naomi: Trust me.

* Mama: I don’t allow no weirdos on the phone unless its family.

* Mama: We’re not gonna let some pervert cut us off from the outside world.

* Naomi: Recognize his voice? I don’t even recognize half the words he uses.

* Mama: Good Lord, if that blouse was any lower it would be a skirt.

* Naomi: That’s just the way I move.
Mama: Well, it’s the way most people Rumba.


Synopsis: Naomi is checking groceries at the Food Circus. Mam is waiting in her line and getting annoyed. Naomi keeps helping everyone else except Mama. Back at the house, Fran is reading the paper. Vint and Naomi come in and announce Naomi won the friendliest checker award. The whole family celebrates. The phone starts ringing and finally Naomi answers it. However, the person on the other end says some very obscene things to her. She hangs up, but it rings again. Everyone keeps asking what the caller said. Naomi tells a clean version of it and everyone is horrified. The phone rings again and they all stare at it. Vint answers it but the person asks for Naomi and then he hands her the phone. It’s the obscene caller again. Mama decides that she’s gonna deal with the pervert herself. However, the next call that comes in is actually Naomi’s boss. After he calls the obscene caller is back. Mama calls the police and gets told to change her phone number. Mama turns on Naomi and blames the harassment on her. Fran gangs up on her too. Naomi turns to Vint for support, but he doesn’t provide any. Naomi blows up and stops talking to the whole family. The next day, Vint is sleeping on the couch. While she tries to cheer up Vint the phone rings. The caller asks for Naomi and when Thelma tells her she not there he gets obscene with Thelma, Fran and Vint. Now they have some sympathy for Naomi. Mama says they all need to apologize to Fran and they all head for the Food Circus. Naomi is not interested in talking to them. She freaks out on several customers. The three pick out an item each to buy. They attempt to apologize while making their purchases. She finally accepts their apologies. They all head back home and the phone is ringing as they enter. Thelma answers it and gives him a taste of his own medicine.

Mama’s Family S02, Ep05 – Rashomama

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 5
Title: Rashomama
Original Air Date: November 3, 1983


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Favorite Quotes:

* Ellen: Mama, either stop volunteering to make the jam or invest in an air conditioner to cool off this swamp.

* Noami: I don’t know when I’ve had so much fun. I’ve never done anything like this before.
Eunice: It’s about the only thing you haven’t done before.

* Eunice: What the hell is the matter with you? You been sniffing those gooseberries?

* Eunice: Look at me. Are you in there?

* Eunice: You lie like a rug.
Ellen: You wouldn’t know the truth if it bit you on the butt.

* Mama: It’s the berries you tramp.

* Mama: Next time I make jam with you bruisers I’m going to wear a football helmet.


Synopsis: Everyone is pacing in the emergency room. Eunice is having a melt down over Mama. Eunice, Ellen and Naomi all start fighting. Vint arrives and asks what happened. Naomi tells her story first. They were making jam in the kitchen. Ellen was complaining about the heat and Eunice not showing up. But Euncies does arrive. Naomi is flitting around acting out of character. Eunice tells Mama that she was nearly killed on the highway. Naomi brings over the sugar. Ellen goes on about how she had to go out to route 5 and back for these berries. Eunice flips her lid because Ellen drove past her twice and did not help. But Ellen states se did not see her. Eunice starts choking Ellen. Naomi goes on about how nice it is to sit in the kitchen doing family type things. Ellen complains that Mama never let her cook. Eunice talks about how she had to cheat on her Girl Scout cooking badge. While they are talking, the berries start popping. Eunice and Ellen fight over the pot and whack Mama in the face knocking her out. Back in the emergency room Ellen and Eunice disagree with what she says. Ellen now tells her version. Mama is melting down from the heat. Naomi is acting like a child in this version. Eunice arrives and tells about how she was nearly killed on the highway. She has a meltdown. Ellen says she went out the same way but never saw her. Ellen continues making Mama seem senile. Ellen asks Naomi for the sugar. She has it but it’s the wrong kind. Mama wants to just chuck the project but Ellen finds some granulated sugar in the pantry. They all pitch in to remove the spots on the jars. Suddenly, Ellen announces that she will skip her tea dance. The berries start popping. Mama asks Ellen to get another pot, but Eunice and Naomi start fighting over the pot between them. Mama comes over and gets whacked in the face and knocked out. Now it’s Eunice’s turn to tell her story. Eunice comes in all happy. Mama asks where she’s been. So she tells her how she was almost killed on the highway. As Eunice tells it, Ellen bumped her off the road into the path of a gasoline truck. Ellen makes a threat. Mama asks Noami about sugar and she pours out her sugar packet collection. Eunice tells her she brought sugar too so that Naomi does not have to break up her collection. Mama is not happy with the berries either. Now the mason jars are perfect. Eunice and Mama continue getting along wonderfully. But the berries start to popping. Mama needs another pot to transfer them too. Eunice and Ellen start fighting over the pot and swing it right into Mama’s face and down she goes. Mama gets wheeled out but she’s ok. Vint asks her who hit her the with pot, but she doesn’t recognize anyone. Back at home, Vint offers to help Mama with the dishes. He throws her the pot and knocks her out again.

Mama’s Family S02, Ep03 – Country Club

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 3
Title: Country Club
Original Air Date: October 20, 1983


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Favorite Quotes:

* Naomi: A bowling ball just can’t disappear.
Vint: It can when Mama puts it in a safe place.

* Naomi: Maybe you’re daddy ain’t dead and gone at all. Maybe your mama just put him in a safe place.

* Mama: When I do find that ball I’ll put it downstairs in the middle of your bed. It can sleep next to your other pin buster.

* Mama: You could look up disgusting in the dictionary and find a picture of this.

* Mama: Don’t you think you’d look a little silly bowling in a diamond broach?

* Ellen: Well Mama, a good prime rib is supposed to be served rare.
Mama: I know that, but mine left hoof prints in my mashed potatoes.

* Mama: Close your mouth, I’m getting an echo in here.

* Mama: Oh come on Vinton! What do you want? Some two bit comic or the Mama Rickles of Raytown?

Synopsis: Everyone is searching the house looking for Vint’s bowling ball. Vint has a meltdown. Then Naomi questions Mama as to where she’s been. Ellen comes in as happy as can be. Ellen tells them she has been chosen as Woman of the Year by the Raytown Country Club. Ellen gets upset because no one is happy for her. Vint goes back to throwing a fit over his bowling ball. Ellen starts kissing up to Mama. She wants to borrow a diamond broach. Mama lets her. Later that day Naomi comes home to find Vinton laying on the couch. Mama comes downstairs to find the pair on the couch. Vint throws another fit. They all fight and Mama reveals she got invited to join the country club. However, it’s actually an invite to Ellen’s Woman of the Year Banquet. Mama does not want to go, but Naomi and Vint are going to go. Mama changes her mind. At the country club Ellen is taking pictures with the mayor. Mama walks into the banquet and Ellen spits out her champagne. Ellen is not happy when she finds out that inviting her family was a surprise. Vint and Mama tell the story about finding the missing bowling ball. The appetizers go badly. Then Mama decides to dance with the mayor. The meal is finally served but Ellen’s embarrassment continues to worsen. The mayor starts his presentation. He invites Mama to speak about Ellen. Ellen tries to get her off stage quickly but fails. Mama turns the celebration into a roast. She tells the story of Ellen as a majorette and the missing underwear. The three arrive home still laughing.

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