Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 3 Episode: 18
Title: Grandma USA
Original Air Date: February 7, 1987
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Favorite Quotes:* Bubba: Hiya Grandma, what are you up to?
Thelma: Well take your pick Bubba, I’m either cleaning the oven or committing suicide.
* Thelma: Vinton if you don’t shut up I’m going to punch your lights out.
* Naomi: I cannot believe that anyone would mistake me for a grandmother.
Iola: I can.
* Eddie: It might be a real novelty having someone in this contest who looks like a real grandma. Good luck Thelma.
* Thelma: Good Lord, talk about your Silicon Valley.
* Eddie: Thelma, what is your talent?
Thelma: Well, I’m really good at cooking and scrubbing toilets and drinking beer.
* Thelma: I demand a recount. If she’s a grandmother then I’m Vanna White.
* Bubba: I bet Grandma Francine is gonna look great in her new corvette.
Thelma: Well she ought to they probably both came off the same assembly line.
Thelma is half in the oven trying to clean it. Bubba asks her what she is doing. Then Vint comes in and asks her what she is doing. He drops the mail on the table. There is a letter to Thelma from Lady Be Lovely Pageants. She reads it. She has been selected to be in the Grandma USA pageant. Bubba entered her. He tells her the winner gets a new corvette and a dream kitchen. She’s in for the kitchen. Vint tries to talk her out of it by telling her she is not glamorous or curvy enough. She exits to get a hair appointment. Bubba tells Vint that he sent in Naomi’s picture with the application. Iola and Naomi try to help her prepare. Iola asks about the swimsuit competition. Thelma shows a swimsuit from another era altogether. Next, they try to help her walk. Everyone arrives at the pageant. Thelma starts to freak out. Vint tries to calm her, but he makes it worse. The host arrives and everyone freaks out. He calls Naomi Thelma. Bubba’s trick comes out. Bubba says he must have sent in the wrong half. Naomi and Iola fight. The host informs her she is disqualified. Vint finds parts of her in the picture. The Pageant begins. The grandmas start to come out. They’ve all had plastic surgery and are very skinny. Thelma comes out last and requires Eddi’s assistance. In the evening gown competition, everyone is wearing glitzy and low cut dresses but Thelma. She can’t do any of the dancing. Everyone exits and she is still on the stage. Then she does the funny walk off. It’s now the talent portion. We have a tap dancer, and another tap dancer, and one who taps and types. Finally, it’s Thelma’s turn. She decides to sing a song that her dad had her perform at the bar. She yells at the piano player before she starts to sing. She starts out very nervous but warms up quickly. She adds in some dancing. It’s quite the show. It’s now time to announce the three finalists. They are: Grandma Francine, Grandma Betty and Grandma Thelma. When she hears her name called she freaks out and hugs everyone while screaming excitedly. It’s now question and answer time. The first two grandma’s get easy questions. He asks Thelma how old she is. She loses her temper with him. Thelma gets the loudest cheers from the audience. Grandma Betty is the second runner up. Grandma Francine wins making Thelma the first runner up. Pandemonium breaks out. Back at the house Thelma is still really upset about losing.
Categories: Mama's Family
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