The Nanny S01, Ep19 – The Gym Teacher

Show: The Nanny
Season: 1
Episode: 19
Title: The Gym Teacher
Original Air Date: April 6, 1994

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Favorite Quotes:

* Fran: Val, what comes at the end of a sentence?
Val: A parole?

* Fran: Gracie, where do you come up with these things?
Gracie: Usually during hopscotch.

* Max: Niles, please, I’m trying to work.
Niles: As opposed to what I’m doing, which is a hobby.

* Fran: Meanwhile, why’d you change your name?
Teacher: I got married.
Fran: To a man?

* Fran: So you’re married and I’m not? How could this be?

* Fran: You know, marriage has mellowed her.

* Fran: Who would have thought that we’d both be facing demons from our past?

* Fran: The worst that can happen is he’ll set you on fire again. How many times can he do that before it gets old?

* Fran: It’s better to have tried and stunk then to never have stunk at all.

Synopsis: Fran comes home from shopping to find Maggie home sick. She’s trying to get out of gym class. The next day, she is still trying to get Fran to help her out of gym class. Brighton tries to blackmail Maggie over it, but she wins. In Max’s office, Niles is cleaning the windows but the sound is driving Max nuts. He calls Fran into his office because he got a call from Maggie’s school about her having a heart murmur. CC pops in and provides a distraction. She wants to use Alan Beck, but Max is not interested. CC convinces him because he’ll sell six months of tickets. Fran still has to deal with Maggie cutting gym class. The two go to meet the teacher. When the teacher comes out, it’s Fran’s old gym teacher. The news is bad. Fran will try to coach her. Meanwhile, at Max’s play, Alan Beck finally arrives. Alan is still a bully. Fran appears at the play as well. Alan hits on her. Back at the school, its Fran and Maggie to practice. Mrs. Stone (the PE teacher) heckles them before she leaves. In the kitchen, Niles is trying to help Fran. She has hurt herself at the gym. Max comes in complaining about Alan Beck. He gives Fran the same pep talk she gave him. The day has come for Maggie to take her midterm in gym. She fails miserably. Mrs. Stone gives her an F. Then she chokes on the ball from the whistle. Maggie now gets an A because Fran saved her life. In Max’s office, Alan gives him a long list of demands. However, Max puts him in his place. Then scares him with a blowtorch. As Alan leaves, the living room is full of actors to take his place. Alan caves in. Fran would like to play Mrs. Roosevelt but Max isn’t having it.

The Nanny S01, Ep18 – Sunday in the Park with Fran

Show: The Nanny
Season: 1
Episode: 18
Title: Sunday in the Park with Fran
Original Air Date: March 23, 1994

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Favorite Quotes:

* Gracie: CC, how come your dog hates you?

* CC: If I had to like every one of my friends I wouldn’t have any.

* Fran: That’s PTA, Mother Hubbard.

* Fran: Oh, can that women ever suck up.
Niles: Hmm. If she came with attachments, we could throw out the Hoover.

* Fran: Too bad we didn’t have this conversation out in the garden, the plants would have loved the fertilizer.

* Fran: You don’t need a nanny, you need a hobby.

* Max: He’s probably calling to try and steal you away.
Fran: I might be available.

* Max: What a charming little snot, tot.

* Fran: A man like you deserves a good finger every now and then.

* Fran: Bartender, I think somethings wrong with your tv. I sound so nasal.

Synopsis: Max and CC are excited because Fran’s family is so large and helping fill the seats at opening night. Fran gives their dinner requests, but it’s not dinner theater. Fran says they won’t come without food. Niles prepares a picnic for Fran and Gracie to take to the park. CC walks in the with Chester. He hates CC but loves Fran. CC comments on the basket returned by one of the critics. Turns out his son goes to school with Gracie. CC wants Gracie to invite Frank Junior to the park. She doesn’t want to. CC, however, calls Frank Sr. and makes the play date. Fran and Gracie try to go to the park without Frank Jr. but CC stops them. The two race to Max’s office. Fran gets there first. She barricades the door and CC tries to break it down. At the park, Frank Jr. starts shooting things with his gun. She talks to a woman in the park, but that woman thinks she’s got a lot of kids until she explains she’s the nanny. Frank jumps on Grace’s back. She is finally forced to whack him with a French bread. Back at the house, Max is looking for a lost note pad. Fran and Grace return from the park but leave out the Frank Jr. drama. Max gives Fran a big guilt trip. Niles takes a call from Mr. Bradley. It goes badly. As Max asks about what happened with Frank Jr, CC comes in. No one is happy. Max is furious. He decides to invite Frank Sr and Frank Jr over for Fran to apologize. The fridge is still not working and no one is allowed to open it. Then Fran walks in and opens the fridge doors wide. The day has arrived when the Franks will arrive. Frank Sr starts insulting Max right away. Fran gives an apology but the Franks don’t accept it. Fran calls Chester as an excuse to escape. Niles brings out finger sandwiches. Frank Sr gets aggressive while Fran is holding Chester and he bites Frank Sr. Max stands up for Fran and Grace, as well as himself. Then he kicks the Franks out. Fran gushes over Chester. It’s now the night of the play and they are all getting a drink afterward. The reviews come on the tv. They announce that Frank is out with food poisoning, so instead it’s a fan review. It turns out it’s Fran. Max is so happy about the review that he kisses Fran. At the house, the repairman for the fridge finally arrives.

The Nanny S01, Ep17 – Stop the Wedding, I Want to Get Off

Show: The Nanny
Season: 1
Episode: 17
Title: Stop the Wedding, I Want to Get Off
Original Air Date: March 16, 1994

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Favorite Quotes:

* CC: How does Miss Fine know about her?
Niles: He talks in his sleep.

* Fran: Don’t be greedy, God will punish you.
[Miss Babcock walks in]
Fran: See?

* Fran: Well, honey, you’re marrying a duke. If it were me I’d be throwing leaflets out of the goodyear blimp and my mother would be flying it.

* Fran: Mark my words, Jocelyn don’t love the Duke.

* Fran: Well I got the song, “Baby you could drive my car.”

* Fran: She’s very sensitive. She senses doom.
Max: Miss Fine, she senses doom at Disneyland.

* CC: Maxwell, I just love weddings.
Niles: Well, we all want what we can’t have.

* Max: Miss Fine, where is Jocelyn? It’s time to give her away.
Fran: Too late, she’s already gone.

* Fran: Next time I get a hunch I say we go to the track.

Synopsis: Max is on the phone with his sister in London. She is coming to visit and bringing a man with her. Max and Niles are shocked because she’s never brought a man to meet the family. It’s now the day of Jocelyn’s arrival. The doorbell rings and Max answers it. They happily greet each other. Her boyfriend is the Duke of Salisbury. Her driver, Lester, brings in the bags. They all sit and chat. The pair announce they are engaged. At dinner, Miss Babcock arrives. Fran offers to help plan the wedding. They decide to get married the following Sunday. Grace is worried about being the flower girl. Some wedding supplies arrive with Kenny, but he’s afraid to stay. Fran shows her the dress but she is skittish. She asks her about favorite songs, but she comes up empty. Jocelyn goes for a ride and her driver Lester is the only one able to give Fran all the answers for the ceremony. As Fran and Niles talk in the kitchen Lester brings in Jocelyn, in his arms. Fran starts to become suspicious. Later that night, Fran wakes up Max. She tells him that Jocelyn is in love with Lester and that he needs to call off the wedding. Max is incensed. It’s the day of the wedding and everyone is nervous. Fran promises not to mention anything to Jocelyn. So instead she has a chat with Lester. As the guests arrive, Miss Babcock acts quite lecherous towards Max. In Max’s office, Jocelyn is getting ready. Lester sneaks in to tender his resignation. Before he leaves he starts kissing her arm. Meanwhile, the wedding is starting. Fran goes into Max’s office to find Jocelyn and Lester kissing. When Max finds out he’s furious. Fran has Kenny do some standup comedy to stall. The Duke discovers the two kissing and is heartbroken. Max and she make up. Lester proposes and she accepts. Fran ends the comedy routine and then replaces the Duke with Lester. Max walks Jocelyn down the aisle. Later that evening Max gives Fran the bouquet she caught.

The Nanny S01, Ep16 – Schlepped Away

Show: The Nanny
Season: 1
Episode: 16
Title: Schlepped Away
Original Air Date: March 9, 1994

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Favorite Quotes:

* Fran: If we’re going to Gilligan’s Island I want to be Ginger.

* Maggie: These lifeguards are gorgeous. I can’t wait to drown.

* CC: If this doesn’t knock me out hit me with the bottle.

* Maggie: I’m in hell.
CC: Join the club.

* Niles: If you’re looking for the hot water bottle, that’s not it.

Synopsis: Everyone is down due to all the snow. They decide to take a vacation. Max tells CC about their vacation. She tries to tag along but it doesn’t work. Fran waltzes in with a new bikini for the vacation. CC is upset that Fran is going too. Everyone is in the limo heading to the airport. They take one of Fran’s shortcuts and get lost. She asks to go to her mother’s house so she can figure out where they are. Fran’s mother is upset they didn’t call first. The weather has turned into a blizzard and now they are stuck there. Everyone is in the living room watching TV. Fran comes out in her vacation outfit. The family is trying their best to enjoy their vacation at Fran’s mothers house. The doorbell rings and it’s a teenager from the building named Kenny. Maggie and Kenny seem to hit it off. Max and Fran get something out of the freezer for Sylvia. But the meat has a note, and it’s not from her dad but the butcher. Fran can’t sleep because she is upset over the note. Fran and Max talk in the kitchen. CC tries to sneak into bed with Max, but it’s actually Niles. At breakfast the next day Sylvia and Fran fight. They take it to the kitchen but continue. Fran confronts her about the note. Sylvia tells her they just flirt, nothing more. They reach an understanding. That evening the group is watching Wheel of Fortune. CC runs in exclaiming the roads are clear and the airport is open. Everyone runs for the door. In the limo Fran notices Brighton is missing. He’s still at Slyvia’s.

The Nanny S01, Ep15 – Deep Throat

Show: The Nanny
Season: 1
Episode: 15
Title: Deep Throat
Original Air Date: March 2, 1994

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Favorite Quotes:

* Fran: Genug with the bells already! We’re not deaf!!
Niles: Until now.

* CC: Maxwell, you tease, you wouldn’t leave me hanging, would you?
Niles: No, we’d cut you down in a week or two.

* Fran: This is New York. You can’t get a doctor to make a house call if your spleen was sitting next to you on the couch.

* Doctor: I’m afraid I’m going to have to take those tonsils out.
Fran: Well unless you’re talking about dinner and dancing, they’re not interested.

* Fran: Can’t you all wait until they hang the tag on my toe?

* CC: Dear Niles, always so witty, especially for a servant.
Niles: At least when I offer something people take it.

* CC: I can’t show up without an escort.
Niles: Why don’t you just inflate one like you usually do.

* Fran: Chester Metfield, I love you.

Synopsis: All three kids are sick and Fran and Niles are trying not to lose their minds. Niles tells a story about his childhood. CC expresses concern about the children being sick, but it’s for her own selfish reasons. She wants Maxwell to escort her to her reunion. Fran comes into Max’s office and gets informed about the reunion. Fran starts coughing and everyone worries she’s coming down with something. She takes Grace to see the doctor. Grace is on the mend. But he looks at Fran’s throat and sees trouble. She has to have her tonsils taken out. Fran is settling in at the hospital for the operation and is nervous. Max tries to comfort and calm her. Grace gives Fran her favorite teddy bear to keep her company. Fran causes all kinds of problem for her roommate. The next morning the kids come to visit. Niles, Max and CC arrive as well. Max tries to cheer Fran up and offers to stay through her surgery. CC is upset because it means he’ll miss her reunion. CC goes to the reunion alone. It’s a miserable experience for her. Back at the hospital Fran is getting prepped for surgery. In her medicated state she makes a pass at Max and as she is being wheeled to surgery she tells him she loves him. The doctor informs them she came through the surgery fine. Max gets a little crazy over her drug induced declaration of love. It’s short lived, apparently, she is telling everyone she loves them. At CC’s reunion she is drunk as a skunk and Max finally shows up. However, everyone is gone. Back at the mansion Fran is recovering and Niles is sick. They drive the kids crazy with the bells. CC then proceeds to drink urine, thinking it’s apple juice.

The Nanny S01, Ep14 – The Family Plumbing

Show: The Nanny
Season: 1
Episode: 14
Title: The Family Plumbing
Original Air Date: February 9, 1994

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Favorite Quotes:

* Max: I suppose there’s no tea.
Niles: Here suck on this.

* Fran: Irving is a legend. Before he set up shop they didn’t call it Flushing.

* Max: How does she keep from falling forward?
Fran: Even if she did she’d bounce back up.

* Fran: My cousin Tiffany is still in Pampers.
Tiffany: Good news, I’m potty trained.

* Fran: I don’t like to hear plumbers or hair dressers say “uh oh.”

* Maggie: I can’t believe this, even the troll has a social life.

* Grace: Look, Fran, giant Barbie dolls. Will you play with me?
Fran: No honey, these toys are for boys.

* Fran: Wow look at you two, you’re like a couple of cats outside the fish store.

* Fran: You know this grungy look is very cute on you.

* Niles: Miss Fine you spend so much time up this creek I should think by now you’d have bought a paddle.

* Fran: I didn’t see anything except for your double standard.

Synopsis: The family is having breakfast but the house has no water. Everyone looks Hagrid. However, Fran looks fabulous. She used her full supply of wet wipes. Fran suggests her second cousin who is a plumber. Max wants water again so badly he allows Fran to hire her cousin. Maggie is upset with Max. She wants to go to a party but Max won’t let her. Fran joins them to break up the yelling. Apparently, it’s a make out party. Max pleads his case to Fran and sends Maggie to her room. Niles brings Max the show girls resumes. The plumber finally arrives. He comes with a small cousin as well, Tiffany. Brighton and Niles fight over who gets to look through the keyhole during showgirl auditions. Fran sends Brighton and Tiffany off to play. Irving is taking forever to fix the plumbing. Brighton and Tiffany come down arguing about the two Darrin’s. Fran tries to console Maggie about not going to the party. In the living room Grace and Brighton are checking out the showgirls. Fran heads into Max’s office and teases Max and Niles. Max is pissed because the water is still not working. Fran heads upstairs to find Irving and get the water working, but she finds Brighton and Tiffany making out in the bathtub. Fran sends Brighton to his room and Tiffany to hurry her grandfather along. Fran looks to Niles for consoling. Max storms into the kitchen upset that there still isn’t any water. She was worried she was about to get canned. Grace then spills the beans. Fran tells him about Brighton and Tiffany kissing. Instead of being upset he’s thrilled about it. Maggie finds Fran and complains about how she is being treated. Fran informs her that there is nothing she can do at this point. So Fran heads upstairs to find Max. She hears the shower running and thinks it’s the kids but it’s Max in the shower. She freaks out and leaves the bathroom. Downstairs, Irving is leaving. Tiffany dumps Brighton. Fran is looking for Max and finds him hiding on the porch. She apologizes for walking in on him. She teases him a little. Then calls him out on his double standard. Fran points out that Maggie needs to be able to learn to handle 14-year-old boys so she can learn to handle full grown men. Maggie can now go to the party.

The Nanny S01, Ep13 – Maggie the Model

Show: The Nanny
Season: 1
Episode: 13
Title: Maggie The Model
Original Air Date: February 2, 1994

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Favorite Quotes:

* Fran: Why is it whenever someone important is coming over you can never get your hair big enough?

* Max: Niles, will supper be long?
Niles: Interminable, sir.

* CC: I don’t want to be let off the hook.
Niles: She wants her hooks in.

* Chloe: I can take it from here.
Fran: Yeah, I can tell you just were to put it too.

* Fran: Yeah, I know what Chloe says, but can’t we just cross that bitch when we get to it.

Synopsis: Brighton is harassing Gracie so Fran puts a stop to it. Max comes home and announces that they will have a dinner guest, Chloe Simpson. When Niles finds out who is coming to dinner he’s enraged. Chloe arrives and doesn’t seem to remember her relationship with Max. In Max’s office he tells CC he’s changed the location of the backer’s auditions. She’s upset that she is not invited. Fran comes in and proceeds to glow over Chloe. Chloe calls and tells Max she has set up a text for Maggie to be a model at her agency. Fran tells Maggie and she is thrilled. They go crazy over the modeling gig. However, Chloe comes in and steals Fran’s thunder. In the kitchen Fran complains to Niles. CC enters and she is just as upset. Maggie and Fran are at the model test. The test doesn’t go well. Back at the house Maggie is going overboard with the modeling. Fran tries to get her to have realistic expectations, but they wind up fighting. Chloe brings over the photos and tells her she stinks. Chloe dashes off to Paris leaving Max behind. Fran politely kicks her out and trips her as she exits. In the kitchen Maggie and Fran make up. Max comes down stairs and tries to comfort Maggie. Fran sits Max down to tell him about Chloe as she pours him some tea.

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