Family Matters S01, Ep17 – The Big Fix

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 17
Title: The Big Fix
Original Air Date: February 9, 1990

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Favorite Quotes:

* Eddie: Urkel? I’d rather eat worms.
Laura: He can teach you that too.

* Rachel: Steve, did it ever occur to you that when the door’s closed we’re trying to keep unwanted people out?

* Steve: This is my busy season. I’m trying to teach the football team fractions.

* Eddie: A couple of measly hours of your time is his dream come true.
Laura: And give me nightmares for the rest of my life.

* Laura: Let’s just say he’s a world class nerd with no redeeming qualities:
Harriet: Sounds like Steve Urkel.
Laura: It is.

* Carl: That’s not a mercy date. That’s Lord have mercy, date.

* Mother Winslow: If I was a few years younger I’d give you a run for your money.
Laura: Want a head start?

* Carl: Do you want this fast or do you want this good?
Mother Winslow: I don’t think he’s got a shot either way.

* Laura: Right now all I can see is Steve running out of the restaurant with a tablecloth tucked in his pants.

Synopsis: The kids are playing video games. The parents send them off to bed so they can play the video game. In the kitchen Carl tries to teach Eddie algebra, but he’s not having much success. He determines something is wrong with the chair. Laura and Harriet enter the kitchen. She wants to stay up all night and study but Harriet’s not having it. She becomes worried when Carl announces that the chair is wobbly and that he’s going to fix it himself. She looks forward to a new kitchen set. Eddie tells Laura he’s going to fail and she suggests asking Steve for help. The next day in the kitchen, Rachel, Mother Winslow and Judy are working on log cabins when Steve comes over. He’s there to help Eddie with algebra. Steve plays hardball out tutoring him. He gives Eddie his baseline test and is shocked that Eddie gets every question wrong. Steve takes the Prince tickets as collateral. At dinner, Carl toasts the kids success on their midterms. Steve interrupts dinner. Thanks to Steve’s help Eddie got a B. He wants a date with Laura as his payment. Later, Eddie tries to warm Laura up to Steve. Whn he tells her he promised him a date with her and she flips her lid. Meanwhile, Carl shows Harriet the chair he fixed, but actually made worse. Laura comes in the kitchen and asks them if they went out people out of pity. Then she finally admits it’s with Steve. Mother Winslow defends him though. Later, Steve comes over to find out about his date with Laura. When Eddie tells him she said no he threatens to keep the Prince tickets. However, Laura comes out and surprises all stating she’ll go out with Steve. She lays out some ground rules and he agrees. On Friday night, she heads out for her date with Steve. He’s taking her out in a hearse, after dropping off a body. They arrive at dinner at a fancy restaurant. Steve orders frog legs for dinner. Before they are even served he causes a massive calamity. He tries to impress her with words that make her nauseous. Then he asks for a kiss on the cheek. He sells her on a pity story and she gives in. His uncle is there and snaps a photo. She storms out of the restaurant. He chases her and brings the table with him. Back in the kitchen, Carl is sitting in an exceptionally short chair unable to reach the marshmallows. Laura storms in and has nothing good to say about her date with Steve. Laura returns the Prince tickets to Eddie. Her reward is that Eddie is taking her to the Price concert.

Family Matters S01, Ep15 – The Big Reunion

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 15
Title: The Big Reunion
Original Air Date: January 23, 1990

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Favorite Quotes:

* Steve: Did I do that?
Laura: No, it’s the prize that came with the cereal.

* Laura: Go for it Eddie, reach for the stars.

* Laura: Were all Dad’s friends named Darnell?
Mother Winslow: Yes, they were very confusing times.

* Mother Winslow: Do you think you could get this past the jaws of life?

* Carl: Rachel, I’ve had more food than this stuck between my teeth.

* Harriet: Carl, baby food? That’s pathetic.

* Harriet: You eat that and you can kiss your diet goodbye.

Synopsis: Eddie asks the girls to let their mother know he’s heading out to play basketball, but before he leaves Steve shows up. He looks like a sports nerd. Eddie leaves and Steve annoys Laura. He tries to show off some moves but instead drops his basketball in her cereal. That night Eddie comes home and announces someone got fired in produce, he wants to move up. Harriet takes a call. Carl has a high school reunion coming up. Everyone talks about the singing group Carl was in. He walks in and is surprised. Carl doesn’t want to go to his 20th reunion. He admits he does not want to go because he’s put on some weight. Rachel comes home from the gym. Harriet suggests having Rachel help. He doesn’t want her help, but finally gives in. The next night at dinner everyone is feasting but Carl. He gets some steamed vegetables for dinner. Later that night he sneaks downstairs for a midnight snack but finds the fridge has been locked. His desperation leads him to eat baby food. He tries to hide but gets caught. The next day Carl is on an exercise bike. One of the girls left a cupcake out and he tries to grab it. Laura comes down and gets it, making Carl cry. Later that day Eddie comes home, he got the job in produce. It’s time for Carl to weigh in and thanks to Rachel’s insane diet and work out plan he’s lost 11 pounds. Now he’s willing to go the reunion until he finds out that he and his group are going to sing. Once again he will not go. Later that night Harriet finds Carl in the kitchen with ice cream. He finally admits that he’s worried about what the Darnell’s will think about him. Now he’s going to go. It’s now the night of the reunion. They arrive and everything is going well. He finds all the Darnell’s and they happily reunite. Carl and his group sing their song and it’s a hit.

Family Matters S01, Ep14 – Baker’s Dozen

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 14
Title: Baker’s Dozen
Original Air Date: January 11, 1990

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Favorite Quotes:

* Laura: Urkel, don’t you ever knock?
Steve: No, I don’t like to disturb anyone.

* Harriet: Carl, you don’t cook you burn. You burn eggs, you burn toast. You’re the only man I know who burns jello.

* Harriet: You and Carl in my kitchen cooking? I don’t think so.

* Carl: 12,000 tarts in two days??

* Harriet: Oh it’s full all right, it’s got 12,000 tarts in it.

* Harriet: A few odds and ends?
Rachel: Just the bare necessities.

* Harriet: Rachel, have you lost your mind?

* Harriet: Now I know how the pastry chef felt on the Titanic.

* Judy: Mom I hate tarts.
Harriet: We all do honey.

* Carl: Ask your Aunt Rachel, she’s the head tart.

* Carl: I’m not going to regret this, I’m going to love it.

* Harriet: Look at you people. Look at my kitchen. Have you all lost your minds?

Synopsis: The kids head to the mall as Steve arrives. But since he wants to come they change their plans. They trick him into hide and seek and sneak out. Steve is now looking for them, but he walks in on Rachel in the shower. Later, dinner has ended and the kids try to run off without doing the dishes. Carl announces he made desert, lemon cream tarts. Everyone is afraid to eat the tarts. They get brave and try the tarts, they love them. Rachel asks Carl if he can make a batch for her writer’s workshop. The next day Carl comes home from work. Rachel comes running in. One of the people in her group wants to buy Carl’s tarts. The batch is a big hit according to Rachel. Harriet is skeptical. They want 12,000 tarts by Monday. Rachel has also brought a massive amount of baking supplies. Harriet tries to make them see reason, but her concern falls on deaf ears. While baking Steve comes over. He offers to help and Rachel asks if he has an oven. He agrees if he can have Laura’s hand in marriage. After upsetting Carl, Steve leaves. Laura and Judy start to fight. Judy gets to go to bed. Rachel and Carl get into a fight. It erupts into a food fight. Steve comes back over mid food fight and gets covered in tarts. Harriet returns and tries to stop the madness. The family wakes in the living room, they finished the tarts two hours earlier. Their profit is $24.00 total, not each. They all console each other. Laura does point out that they did meet their goal of cooking 12,000 tarts.

Family Matters S01, Ep13 – Man’s Best Friend

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 13
Title: Man’s Best Friend
Original Air Date: January 8, 1990

Favorite Quotes:

* Eddie: Urkel, why don’t you ever knock?
Steve: If I did nobody would ever let me in.

* Laura (to Steve): I’m never going out with you. You make my skin crawl.

* Steve: Did I do that?

* Harriet: It’s a dog.
Rachel: Good Harriet, you got that right on the first try.

* Carl: I just had the worst day of my life. I was in a high speed car chase and ran out of gas.

* Carl: Edward, clean up this room. It smells like an animal in here.

* Harriet: Carl, that was 20 years ago. Get some therapy.

* Harriet: Around you he’s Benjie, around us he’s Kujo.

Synopsis: Steve comes over. He tells Eddie he’s going to ask her out. She comes down the stairs, asks her out and gets turned down cold. Rejected, Steve turns to leave, but catches his foot on the sheet that is under Eddie’s ship and it falls. The next day the kids come into the kitchen very excited. It’s a dog. The kids explain how they tried everything to find his owner and since they couldn’t they want to adopt him. Harriet agrees, but Carl comes home and they hide the dog. He’s in a bad mood. Nearly running over Eddie’s bike in the driveway hasn’t helped his mood. Later that night Rachel goes to Eddie’s room with all kinds of stuff for the dog. Carl goes to Eddie’s room and they have to hide the dog. Carl is a tad surprised to find everyone hanging out in Eddie’s room. Carl just wanted to apologize. He finds the dog treats and likes them. The next morning and they still haven’t told Carl about the dog. He comes downstairs and his favorite slipper is all chewed up. He hears the dog scratching the laundry room door. He opens the laundry room door and is greeted by the dog. Carl is not happy. Rachel suddenly comes down stairs and tries to act like Carl got it for the kids. He tells them a story about a dog he had when he was a kid and how heartbroken he was when the dog died. Rachel jumps in about all the things Carl learned by having a dog. He finally gives in. The next day the kids head to the mall after taking care of the dog. Steve comes over looking for her. He goes into the kitchen to get food and the dog has a hold of him. He quickly exits. Carl is thrilled that the dog gets rid of Steve. Two weeks later the kids aren’t happy with the dog. He’s eaten Eddie’s home and Laura’s solar system. Carl comes in with Mickey and shows the tricks he has taught him. Carl leaves for work. Mickey steals some bacon. Rachel goes into the laundry room to get her work out clothes and the dog has shredded them, along with Harriet’s new silk blouse. When Carl comes home the family is waiting for him. They inform him he’s destructive and locked in the garage. Carl is very upset. He will find Mickey a new home. Carl talks to Mickey and tells him he found him a new home in the country where he can run and play and chew on things. Carl arrives home from dropping Mickey off. He already misses him. Steve pops over and brings Carl and ant farm to try and cheer him up. It doesn’t have any ants, so he brought some. But he knocks them over.

Family Matters S01, Ep12 – Laura’s First Date

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 12
Title: Laura’s First Date
Original Air Date: December 18, 1989

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Favorite Quotes:

* Eddie: The dress is bad enough but this push up bra is killing me.

* Laura: You know Mom in some countries girls get married at 13.
Harriet: Sure and they die at 30.

* Laura: Was that a yes?
Carl: No but I think it was a threat on your life.

* Laura: Not Urkel. Not now. Not ever.

* Judy: Brussels sprouts make me puke.

* Laura: That’s how I know a dance is coming up, the phone goes dead.

* Eddie: No guts, no glory.

* Eddie: Laura, any guy that wouldn’t go out with you isn’t good enough for you anyway.

* Rachel: Why did you do that?
Harriet: I didn’t know it was a tear-away dress.

* Carl: I already set her up with Steve Urkel.
Eddie: The mouse eater?
Carl: He eats mice?

* Laura: You hired Tyrone to take me to the dance?

* Harriet: Dear Lord, please let this boy like her.

* Laura: Next time you think about fixing me up, think of Steve Urkel.

Synopsis: Rachel has Eddie in a dress while she alters it. Carl, Laura and Judy walk in and are concerned. Laura tries to talk with Harriet about a dance and she won’t have it. She asks her Carl, who says yes. Harriet is not happy. Laura keeps trying. Carl talks to Harriet about the dance. But Harriet is worried that Laura will get serious about a boy too soon. Harriet gives in, but she is not happy. Later at Leroy’s Laura and her friend are talking about dates. Urkel comes over and asks Laura to the dance. Back at the house the family is eating dinner. Rachel tells Laura she wants to make her a dress for the dance. Carl hits the phones trying to get a date for Laura. He calls Mr. Urkel, Steve’s dad and sets her up with him. Laura is moping on the back porch and Eddie tries to cheer her up. He suggests she calls Mark and asks him to the dance herself. Eddie heads off to shoot hoops and Laura heads back in the house. She calls Mark and asks him to the dance. It’s dance night and Laura is wearing the dress Rachel made. Harriet pulls a loose string and a sleeve falls off. Laura freaks out. Carl homes home and Carl mentions Steve. The doorbell rings and its Steve. Carl learns from Steve that Laura is not his biggest fan and he starts to have regrets. Eddie comes in with Tryrone, he’s taking Laura to the dance. So now there are two dates at the house. Laura comes down stairs in a different dress. She becomes outraged. The doorbell rings and its Mark, Laura’s date. He tries to rush them out, but Steve appears. Steve tells them that Carl set up the date. Laura rushes off upset. The two non-dates are dealt with. Harriet tries to calm her down. Laura tells her that she asked him. Harriet tells her it took Carl 6 weeks to work up the courage to ask her out. Back in the living room Mark tells Laura he’s liked her for a long time. They leave for the dance. Rachel rushes back in with the dress repaired. Later that evening Harriet and Carl are watching a movie when Laura comes home. She had a good time.

Family Matters S01, Ep10 – False Arrest

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 10
Title: False Arrest
Original Air Date: November 28, 1989

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Favorite Quotes:

* Harriett: Carl, you’re not Ivy League, you’re bowling league.

* Carl: Well, if I’m so dumb why are you the one wearing the cuffs?

* Carl: Mama’s right Rachel, we shouldn’t take pleasure in someone else’s misery. Anybody for a slow drive along the interstate?

Synopsis: Eddie is going to help Steve build some muscle. While assisting him doing bench presses the phone rings and Eddie lets go. He’s stuck under the bar. Mother Winslow and the kids are watching the Buddy Goodrich show. Carl comes home and no one wants to hear, they just want to watch the Buddy Goodrich show. Mother Winslow asks Carl to get seats to the Buddy Goodrich show coming to town. Next day Carlo goes to the theater to buy tickets. He asks a stage hand about the car in the handicap spot and is told its Buddy Goodrich’s car. Mr. Goodrich comes out of his dressing room and refuses to move the car. He also puts Carl down. Goodrich gets incensed. He refuses to move the car, he parked it there so after the show he can get out as fast as possible. He tries to boss Carl around and then assaults him. When he takes a swing at Carl, Carl arrests him. When Carl gets home the family is upset that Buddy Goodrich was arrested. He tries to tell them what happened and they ignore him. They are all upset at him. Carl tells them that he took a swing at him. Another day and Buddy Goodrich rings the doorbell. Everyone is a little dumbstruck. Buddy lays it on thick. He offers free tickets to his show. He requests a private conversation with Carl, so they go to the kitchen. But Buddy hands the tickets to Eddie as he heads there. Buddy wants Carl to drop the charges. The family is standing at the door listening. Carl still refuses. Buddy then tries to bribe him with a spot on his show and a fee. He refuses to take the bribe and tells Buddy to get out. He ups it the bribe. As he leaves the family opens the door to reveal they have all been listening the whole time. He leaves hastily and Eddie gives him the tickets back. Harriet slams the door on him. It’s weeks later and the trial is nearly over. Carl and Harriet come back happy. Goodrich was found guilty. His assistant broke and told the truth. He has to pick up trash on the interstate.

Family Matters S01, Ep07 – Body Damage

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 7
Title: Body Damage
Original Air Date: November 10, 1989

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Favorite Quotes:

* Harriet: I don’t mind the living. It’s the dying I’m trying to avoid.

* Rachel: Carl is going to kill me. He still hasn’t forgiven me for breaking his Flintstones coffee mug.

* Laura: Eddie, you have the IQ of frozen yogurt.

* Carl: Who fixed the car?
Rachel: I did.
Carl: Think you can do it again?
Rachel: I’ll get the torch.

Synopsis: Dinner wraps up and Harriet assigns the children to do the dishes. The next day at dinner Laura asks Eddie if he is going to a big party. She rubs it in that he is grounded. Rachel asks Laura to quiz her on her automotive test. Carl comes in with great news. He’s got the best safety record in the city and gets to drive in the Columbus Day Parade as the lead car. He gets to drive a 1936 Ford. The car has been driven by Elliot Ness. Everyone tries to pile in but Carl stops them. Carl is napping on the couch. Mother Winslow tells Harriet she taught him how to drive and that she gave up driving when they lowered the speed limit. In the kitchen Rachel wants to take a peek at the car. In the garage Rachel drools over the car. They both admire it. Rachel wants to drive it. Harriet gives in and they both hop in the car. But the drive is short lived when Rachel crashes into a tree. As she backs back up the driveway the fender has a nasty dent. Rachel tries to blame it on Harriet but she isn’t having any of it. Rachel says she can fix it before the parade as she aced fender and body work class. She begs. Later that night Harriet comes down stairs and sneaks out to the garage to check on the process. She startles Rachel while she is blow torching. She shoulder taps again to try and find out when she’ll be done. Rachel shoos Harriet away. Eddie comes out and finds the mess. Rachel enlists his help since he is still up. She asks him to put the tools in the toolbox but he tosses them instead making a lot of noise. When Harriet comes back into the kitchen she catches Carl red handed having a midnight snack. He comments on the noise and she stops him from going outside to check out the sounds. Eddie comes in and Carl thinks he broke his curfew. Harriet goes with curfew breaking and then takes over the situation. The next morning Rachel comes into the kitchen for coffee and asking how much time she has left. Eddie comes down with a confession for Harriet to sign. Carl comes down dressed and to stall him Harriet pulls a button off his uniform. She sends him to his mother for repairs. She makes a mad dash to Rachel to update her on the situation. She should taps her while Rachel is painting. Harriet runs back in to get the whole family to stall. When Harriet tells them what happened Laura finds it amusing. They all try to use it to their advantage. Carl comes back down again and Laura jumps into action. The stall tactics are transparent. Eddie slips about the car. Carl runs out and Harriet throws herself across the garage door. He opens it to find Rachel polishing the fender. Carl leaves for the parade and everyone goes into the living room and breaths a sigh of relief. The kids try to blackmail them. The doorbell rings and Carl walks in holding a fender. He is not happy and informs them when he returns he will do a lot of yelling. They arrive back from the parade. They all wait for Carl to return and be angry. Carl storms in doing the full body ticked off bob/bounce. Harriet confesses and apologizes. Carl is disappointed because now he can’t yell. He’s hurt because they didn’t go to him when they were in trouble. They promise not to go behind his back again. Carl asks who fixed the Car. Rachel says she did. Carl asks if she could do it again as he accidentally backed into a float.

Family Matters S01, Ep05 – Straight A’s

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 5
Title: Straight A’s
Original Air Date: October 20, 1989

Guest Stars:
Randy Josselyn: Rodney Beckett

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Favorite Quotes:

* Rachel: You know I haven’t colored in years. I forgot how good I was. Notice my use of contrast and shadowing to create the illusion of depth.
Judy: Too bad you didn’t stay in the lines.

* Harriet: Carl just open them. This ritual is as much fun as a root canal.

* Carl: Here’s your $25.
Laura: I’ll take it, but I’m not happy.

* Laura: 5 times 6 is 30. He can’t even multiply.

* Harriet: If you call me report card lady one more time you’ll spend the night in detention.

* Laura: No, I don’t deserve to have fun until I get an A in History.

* Laura: No thanks. Cookies will make me happy. I don’t deserve to be happy. Got any liver?

Synopsis: Eddie is listening to music and watching TV simultaneously downstairs. Carl is horrified and shuts it all off. At the table Rachel colors with the girls. Carl comes in the kitchen. He’s worried about Eddie and his study habits. Carl comes down the stairs to do his report card routine. He pays each kid $5 per A. Judy got 2 A’s for $10. Laura has all A’s, until there is a B. She’s upset and gets $25. But Eddie’s report card is straight A’s. Everyone is shocked. The next day Laura is still depressed about her knee. Rodney comes over and plays a prank on Rachel. She is not amused. He goes up to Eddie’s room. Rodney breaks the news to him that the report cards are fake. He made them up. Eddie is upset. The next day Laura is still depressed, she even turns down fresh baked cookies. Harriet tries to cheer her up, it doesn’t work. Laura explains she wants to go to a good law school. Rachel also tries to comfort her but fails. Harriet starts talking about the cookies and that because one has a flaw so the whole batch has to be thrown out. Laura does get the “message.” Carl brings in college brochures for Eddie. He also got him a Bears jacket. Eddie tries to tell him what happened but Carl cuts him off. When Carl mentions Columbia University Eddie thinks its a country. Also, a Harvard recruiter is coming. Eddie talks to Rachel and tells her the truth about the report cards. He’s upset still because his B’s and C’s aren’t good enough for his dad. He decides he needs to tell his dad the truth. Carl calls Eddie into the kitchen. He got him a computer. Eddie tells Carl his report card was fake and Carl wants it to be a joke. He’s upset, but so is Eddie. Carl did not realize he was making Eddie feel stupid. Carl goes up to Eddie’s room and apologizes. Back in the kitchen Carl has decided to calm down on grades. Harriet is thrilled to no longer be the report card lady. Rachel comes in the kitchen and tells them the Harvard recruiter is there. Rachel will take care of it since he’s so cute.

Family Matters S01, Ep04 – Rachel’s First Date

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 4
Title: Rachel’s First Date
Original Air Date: October 13, 1989

Guest Stars:
Peter Fitzsimmons: Alan

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Favorite Quotes:

* Mother Winslow: Well don’t go to one of them slasher movies. You know how they give you nightmares.
Harriet: You got that right. Every time he sees one he sleeps with a night light on.
Carl: Well now what’s wrong with that?
Harriet: It’s got a 200 watt blub.

* Carl: Rachel, you’ve got to start dating again. You’re driving us nuts.
Harriet: Thank you, Officer Tact.

* Carl: When you think she’ll notice she forgot the baby?
Harriet: I think she’ll notice when she tries to burp the bag.

* Rachel: No, it’s too sexy. I don’t want him to think I’m sexy.
Harriet: Is it ok if he thinks you’re a woman?
Rachel: Not on the first date.

*Rachel: What do people do on dates now?
Harriet: They do what they’ve always done.
Rachel: Oh, Harriet, that’s not good.

Synopsis: Urkel drops by to see Laura, but she’s not home. Carl is making a sundae and Urkel tricks him out of it. In the kitchen Carl, Harriet and Mother Winslow talk. Carl and Harriet are going to a movie. The kids come down stairs fighting. The girls head off to a slumber party. Carl and Harriet are excited about their romantic date, but Rachel decides to tag along and kills the romance. Carl is not happy. The come back and Carl is crankier than when they left. Carl wants to talk with Rachel and put an end to the tag along. As they relax on the couch Rachel takes over and Carl comes out with it very bluntly. Harriet tries to soften the blow. Rachel isn’t exactly interested in dating anyone right now, but she agrees to go out with Alan the next time he calls. The next day Carl is calling everyone in the phone book who’s name matches Alan. He’s worried he has given up. Rachel and Richie come home. The phone rings and Harriet answers, it’s Alan. Carl is thrilled. He asks her out again and as she starts to blow him off, Harriet gives her a look. They are going out to dinner on Tuesday. Rachel is getting ready for her date with Alan but she cannot decide what to wear. She’s nervous and Harriet tries to calm her. Downstairs Eddie is playing cards with Laura, and he’s losing even though he’s using a marked deck. The doorbell rings and Carl is excited to Alan. Laura volunteers to deal him some poker, so Carl sends her up to get Rachel. Rachel’s door opens and Laura announces Alan is there, but Rachel starts melting down. Harriet tasks Laura with entertaining Alan in the meantime. Carl goes up to deal with Rachel. Eddie tries to do a magic trick and it fails. Upstairs, Harriet looses her patience with Rachel. Judy and Mother Winslow come home. They sold 232 boxes of girl scout cookies and set a new record. Mother Winslow goes to find out what’s keeping Rachel. Harriet kicks Carl out as he’s not helping. Mother Winslow talks with Rachel. She’s upset because she feels like she’s cheating on her deceased husband. Mother Winslow is able to calm her down and she decides to go on her date after all. Downstairs, Laura and Judy are providing some musical entertainment for Alan. Rachel finally comes down and she and Alan go on their date. Harriet and Carl enjoy some time on the back porch as Rachel comes out to announce she is home. She might see him again.

Family Matters S01, Ep03 – Short Story

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 3
Title: Short Story
Original Air Date: October 6, 1989

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Favorite Quotes:

* Carl: A little high? They don’t use this much water at Sea World.

* Rachel: I haven’t done anything. I’m blocked.

* Rachel: I just used you as a jumping off point.
Grandma: I don’t think you jumped far enough.

* Carl: You make me seem like cheapskate.
Grandma: You got that part right.

* Eddie: What fiction? You captured the real me– A guy who’s great with the babes.
Laura: That is the only part that is fiction.

* Carl (to Eddie): Don’t be hitting nobody on the head, you’re all crazy enough as it is.

* Eddie: I figure Linda’s waiting for a real man to come along. One that’s not intimidated by her beauty and that’s me. Edward “stud” Winslow.
Laura: How much of that cologne did you swallow?

* Laura: Mom, if Judy and I fight can I have pizza in my room too?

Synopsis: The kids set the table for dinner. Rachel comes in with a pizza. In the living room Laura hands out the mail. Carl’s not happy that it’s all for Grandma. Rachel gets a letter in the mail. Carl’s water bill sets him off. Rachel’s letter is a rejection of her short story. Eddie comes in and announces he washed the car. Carl, of course, flips his lid. Harriet commiserates with Rachel about her story being rejected. She tells her to write what she knows about. Carl decides to turn the water off for four hours a day. Harriet wants it on. She states no one will eat. The next day Laura comes home from school and tries to help Rachel with her writers block. Carl hollers for everyone to come to a family meeting. The sprinklers were left on all day. Eddie comes home and he admits he turned them on, but was never told to turn them off. They all argue. Laura suggests to Rachel that she write about the family. Carl is happy that water consumption is under control. Grandma is happy, she wants to firm up her water bed. Rachel is in the kitchen trying to get Richie to use a teething ring with no success. Harriet dips it in some applesauce and poof, he’s using it. Laura delivers a letter to Rachel. Her new short story was accepted. She goes off to make copies for everyone. As the family reads it each are unhappy. She tries to defend her story and it falls flat. Eddie is the only one who likes it. Harriet is extremely offended. She thinks that Rachel feels she is pushy and overbearing. Later on, Rachel is trying to explain her writing process to Grandma. Carl is trying to mend Harriet and Rachel. However, it does not work. Later that evening Eddie is all dressed up. He is going to ask Linda Fontana out. Harriet and Rachel are still not talking. Laura visits Rachel in her room. Judy walks in and Laura and her fight. She tells Rachel no matter what happens you don’t let it ruin the relationship. Rachel and Harriet cross paths in the kitchen. They make up. Eddie comes in the back door and he clearly got beat up. He explained he asked out Linda Fontana’s house to ask her out. Her boyfriend was there and he beat him up.

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