Family Matters S03, Ep06 – Citizen’s Court

Show: Family Matters

Season: 3 Episode: 6

Title: Citizen’s Court

Original Air Date: October 25, 1991

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Favorite Quotes:

* Carl: Did you see the size of that thing?
Mother Winslow: I bet that’s what the bug was thinking too.

* Carl: That is way too much money to spend on a dead bug.
Steve: Well, he wasn’t dead until he met you.

* Steve: I’m suing your bug squashing pants off.

* Harriet: Wait a minute. Are you two willing to make fools of yourselves on national TV?
Steve and Carl: Yes!!

* Rachel: Stop it you two, you’re behaving like adults.

* Steve: Carl Winslow of all the legal chicanery why you’re using the woman I love in a shameless attempt to unnerve me.

* Carl: This is a hostile witness.
Judge: Hostile witness? It’s your mother!!

* Carl: Your Honor, ladies and gentlemen, it was just a stupid bug.


Laura and Eddie are reading in the living room. They hear Steve Urkel screaming. They open the front and back door and he roller blades through. He crashes in the back yard. It’s another day and Steve comes in with Eddie and Waldo. Steve brought over his new pet: Peruvian stick bug. He is excited to enter him in the entomology conference. He turns around and Pable has disappeared. Mother Winslow finds Carl napping in the living room. Pablo is crawling up the newspaper towards him. Mother Winslow heads off to tennis. Carl then crushes and kills Pablo. Well, he thought he did, but Pablo is still moving under the lamp. Carl lifts the lamp and jumps on him till he is dead right as Steve comes into the living room. Steve is very upset. Carl tells him it was just a bug. Steve tells him he paid $486.52. Carl is shocked. He tells him he spent too much on it. Steve thinks Carl is going to apologize for killing his bug but instead tells him to clean up the mess. That night Carl is spraying the house for bugs. Harriet comes done and scolds him. Steve comes in just as Carl is impersonating Pablo. Steve tells Carl he is suing him. Steve informs him it’s going to be on Citizen’s Court. Harriet asks them to settle it between themselves, but they refuse. It’s now the day of the Citizen’s Court episode. The episode begins. Steve is suing for the value of his dead bug. The judge begins. He asks Steve to give a brief summary of the facts. Then Carl gets to speak. He has decided to use Laura as his lawyer. Steve is not happy with Carl but makes clear that just because Laura is there he will not back down. Mother Winslow gets called to the stand and she flirts with the judge. She is a witness for Carl and he calls her hostile. The judge is horrified by Carl. Next, Harriet is called to the stand. Steve then cross examines her about Carl’s temper. He purposely triggers Carl’s temper. Steve now calls Waldo as a witness. Waldo wrote his testimony on his arm. Next Steve calls Eddie to the stand. He asks him to recall an incident with a childhood pet. Carl was doing laundry and his pet hamster was dead in the lint trap. As Steve continues, Carl loses his temper again. Carl decides to give his own closing statement. It’s not a nice one and Laura is furious with Carl. Steve then speaks. His speech is heartfelt and he speaks of how Carl damaged their friendship and his heart. Carl apologizes for his actions and calling Pablo a stupid bug. He even offers to buy Steve a new bug. The judge returns and has reached a decision. But Steve and Carl tell him they already settled it.

Categories: Family Matters

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