Family Matters S02, Ep06 – Boxcar Blues

Show: Family Matters
Season: 2
Episode: 6
Title: Boxcar Blues
Original Air Date: October 9, 1990

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iTunes Family Matters, Season 2 – Family Matters

Favorite Quotes:

* Eddie: No problem Dad. I could always be a model.
Judy: Are you gonna be the before or the after?

* Murtagh: Six months in the academy will firm up that grip.

* Steve: Relax, they’ll find us, it’s not like we’re going anywhere.
[train starts rolling]

* Harriet: The joys of being a cop’s wife. You panic every time they’re five minutes late.

* Eddie: How about some sympathy Aunt Rachel? I mean my modelling career only lasted a half an hour.
Laura: Well, that’s longer than most of your dates.

* Steve: I can see the headlines now, “Cop flips out. Kills four cows and an Urkel.

* Steve (to Carl): Sometimes I wish you were my father.

Synopsis: Carl is waiting for Harriet and is getting impatient. A pair of her shoes are missing. Harriet blames Rachel. Rachel comes in looking for something, she also blames Harriet. Mother Winslow comes out of her room. She is wearing the missing shoes, the missing jacket and something of Laura’s. Another evening and the family is eating dinner at the table. Carl asks the kids about school. Laura could go to Harvard, Eddie’s goals are not as lofty. Eddie comes home early from his date. Carl chooses to have a sit down talk with Eddie. Carl suggests Eddie become a police officer. He thinks it’s a joke, but it’s not. Carl invites Eddie to go on a ride along. The next day, Carl brings his Sargent to the house to meet Eddie. Eddie and Steve come home. Eddie decides not to go on the ride along, he has an appointment with a modeling agency instead. In the living room, Murtagh and Steve are looking at photos. Murtagh is not happy and Steve volunteers to keep Carl from getting in trouble. Steve does his ride along with Carl. Carl gets a call. The suspect is in the railyard. Carl goes into one of the rail cars looking for him, but he finds cows. Steve doesn’t follow directions and joins him in the rail car. While he deals with Steve, the suspect locks them in the car. Carl pulls his gun to shoot off the lock, but Steve points out the cows and he stops. Before a plan b can be formulated the train starts moving. At the house, Harriet is concerned that Carl is not home yet. She’s so worried she put the salad in the oven. Eddie comes home looking glum. The modeling agency did not hire him. Back on the train, Steve is spilling his guts to one of the cows. Carl blows up at Steve several times. Carl asks Steve how he snorts, and Steve gives him a lesson. It lightens the situation. Steve tells him how great a dad he thinks he is and how he wishes Carl was his dad. They discuss their futures. Steve’s dad is pressuring him to make a decision about his future. Carl realizes he’s doing that to Eddie. They have a moment and hug. Later that night, Carl is home and tells them how they got out. Steve’s singing caused the cows to stampede. The kids come down to say good night. Eddie and Carl have a chat. Carl apologizes for pressing Eddie about his future.


Family Matters S02, Ep05 – The Crash Course

Show: Family Matters
Season: 2
Episode: 5
Title: The Crash Course
Original Air Date: October 12, 1990

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iTunes Family Matters, Season 2 – Family Matters

Favorite Quotes:

* Laura: Didn’t the examiner try to calm you down?
Eddie: Nope, he got out and took the bus back.

* Laura: How can you be so disgusting.
Steve: It’s a gift.

* Laura: Nice move, Binky Bear.

* Carl: Harriet, there is a car in the living room.
Harriet: Carl, don’t overreact.

* Steve: My heart knows the words but it won’t pump them up to my lips. I guess I’m just clogged with emotional cholesterol.

* Carl: Son, you haven’t lost my respect. Messing up is a part of growing up. Edward, it’s a process that never ends.

* Steve: Thanks Eddie. I wasn’t looking forward to military school. I heard they don’t allow night lights.

Synopsis: Harriet and Rachel are painting in the living room. They wind up having a paint brush fight. When Carl tries to break it up, they both paint him. Steve comes in and he gets paint all over Carl. The next day, Carl’s breakfast is interrupted by Eddie. He’s worried about getting his license. Carl tests him on the way to his driver’s test. He yells about a bread truck that doesn’t exist at Eddie. He rattles Eddie quite badly. Eddie gets home and he flunked the test. Eddie’s girlfriend, Jolene comes over. He doesn’t tell her the truth. She wants to go for a drive and he doesn’t. Eddie gives in a takes her for a drive. In the house, Steve is asking for random aspects of Laura and she is grossed out. As she heads up to her room, Eddie crashes into the living room. Eddie freaked out when he sees a bread truck. Steve tries to calm him. When Carl comes home he completely freaks out. Carl sends Eddie to his room and tells him to lock the doors and windows so he can’t get in. Steve, up and tells them that he did it, not Eddie. Laura and Eddie are shocked. Carl tells him to go home before he loses his cool. Laura and Eddie run after Steve as he leaves to ask him why he took the blame. He tells them it’s because they are buddies, and buddies help each other. Later that night, Laura tells Eddie that he’s a jerk for letting Urkel take the blame. Steve walks in in a military uniform. His parents are sending him away. Eddie and Laura are upset. Steve gives the two some parting gifts. Eddie tells him to wait there and heads into the kitchen. In the garage, Carl is blowing up a balloon for Ritchie. Eddie tells him that it was actually him. Carl flips his lid. Eddie tells him the whole truth. They have a heart to heart. Carl apologizes for the last minute test. He feels the driving test failure was his fault. Eddie gets grounded and has to wait two months for his next driving test. He has to tell the Urkel’s what actually happened. Meanwhile, Steve has been bestowing man gifts on Laura leaving her disturbed. Eddie comes back in and tells him that he told his dad the truth. They have a moment and play catch in the house. Steve breaks a lamp, but Eddie takes the blame for him.

Family Matters S02, Ep04 – Flashpants

Show: Family Matters
Season: 2
Episode: 4
Title: Flashpants
Original Air Date: October 5, 1990

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iTunes Family Matters, Season 2 – Family Matters

Favorite Quotes:

* Laura: Oh great. It’s dance contest time again.

* Laura: It’s real depressing watching people your age do the lambada.

* Carl: Is Rachel here?
Harriet: No, but I’m sure she heard you.

* Carl: My back just went out and pain came in.

* Harriet: You can spend the rest of your life looking like a pretzel.

* Laura: Want us to hang you out on the porch so you can get some sun?
Carl: Just go.

* Carl: We got to beat the Carnelli’s we’re just a jitterbug away from victory.

* Harriet: I’m going to fix you a big banana split and then hang you up on the door.

Synopsis: Laura comes down in her Rachel’s uniform hoping to avoid Steve on her way to work. Leaving early doesn’t work as he’s waiting at the door. They are all sitting around the table having breakfast. Carl comes in and starts dancing with Harriet. It’s time for the yearly Policeman’s Dance Competition. That night Carl comes up upset. Charlie is on Carl’s nerves. He even tried to kill a jacket. Charlie was bragging about winning the dance competition and Carl wouldn’t stand for it. Carl wants Rachel to choreograph a spectacular dance routine. They practice it and it looks amazing. Carl takes a bow and his back goes out. Rachel calls the doctor to get help. Harriet decides to pull out of the dance contest, but Carl doesn’t want to. The appointment is in an hour, but that’s how long it’s going to take Carl to get to the car. Later, Carl is hanging on a door. Eddie and Laura ask for money for the mall. Carl is now home alone, however, Steve comes over. He tells him he’s going to be with him for every moment he has to hang on the door. Carl is not happy. It’s now the night of the dance contest. Charlie and his wife perform their dance, and they’re good. Next up is Carl and Harriet. They do quite well. The MC announces the winners are actually a tie between Carl and Charlie and their wives. They will have to do a dance off and it will be the jitterbug. But when Carl takes a bow at this news his back goes out again. Charlie notices and has to rib him about it. But Charlie trips and hurts his ankle walking away. Both try and do the jitterbug injured. But Charlie’s wife calls a time out for his injury. Carl then admits he is also injured and suggests a tie. Instead the commissioner’s kids get awarded the trophy. Now that the dance contest is over, everyone gets to dance. Harriet congratulates Carl on being such a good sport.

Family Matters S02, Ep03 – Marriage 101

Show: Family Matters
Season: 2
Episode: 3
Title: Marriage 101
Original Air Date: September 28, 1990

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iTunes Family Matters, Season 2 – Family Matters

Favorite Quotes:

* Harriet: I want to look perfect. Carl and I haven’t had a romantic dinner date since the Carter administration.

* Carl: You’re not going to wear that are you?
Harriet: Of course not. I’ll just slip into something more comfortable, like a helmet and shin guards.

* Mother Winslow: Carl is my son and in my eyes he can do no wrong, but he’s your husband and you should have knocked him into next week.

* Eddie: Lose your sense of humor Mrs. Urkel?
Laura: Is that your face or did your neck throw up?

* Steve: You know in the back of your fridge I found an interesting specimen growing on the back of a cheese wheel.

* Laura: Steve, we’re supposed to grade each other on this project and right now you’re staring down the barrel of an F.

* Laura: Steve, I want a divorce. Go home to your mother.

* Steve: Laura, I know I’m not worthy of you but I just can’t help loving you.

* Harriet: One thing for sure, he never takes you for granted.
Laura: I wish he would. I’m all Urkeled out.

* Steve: Snookums you do love me!!
Laura: What have I done?!?!

Synopsis: Eddie has wrapped up Steve like a mummy. Carl comes home and to shut Steve up bandages his mouth too. Another day and Harriet comes down the stairs looking amazing. Carl comes in with hockey tickets and Harriet is not happy. At school, Miss Stueben is trying to teach, but Steve is in the class. She and Steve wind up having a lively debate. She announces that everyone is going to be married for two weeks. Steve wants Laura. At the house, Harriet’s got a big bandage on her forehead. She got hit in the head with a hockey puck. She thinks that they are going out to dinner, but instead he’s going to a bachelor party. He leaves the kitchen and Harriet remembers some of the romantic things he use to do that he doesn’t anymore. She’s worried. It’s now the day they found out who their spouses will be in their class. Laure gets Steve. And then she faints at the news. At dinner that night, Ritchie comments about Carl being in trouble. Laura comes home late. The whole family hums the wedding march. Shortly after, Urkel appeals and ruins everyone appetite. The living room is overrun with adulations of love to Laura. It’s the last night “married” for the school project and Steve puts on some romantic music. He tries to kiss her and she throws him on the floor. She asks him to leave and he gives her a ring. It’s a real diamond. She doesn’t want to accept it as she feels its too much. When he tells her it was only $800 she goes into a meltdown. He responds with some sweet words and she cries. She goes out to talk to her mom, still upset. They have a talk. Carl overhears Harriet say how lucky she is that he loves her enough to show her. Back in class, we hear different stories about the “marriages” that took place. Steve gives Laura a short, but glowing, review. Laura lists all of Steve’s bad qualities, but then surprises everyone by giving him an A+. Carl comes home and greets Harriet. She is still upset. He tells her that he overheard her conversation with Laura. He apologizes, tells her he has dinner reservations and then gives her the diamond ring.

Family Matters S02, Ep02 – Torn Between Two Lovers

Show: Family Matters
Season: 2
Episode: 2
Title: Torn Between Two Lovers
Original Air Date: September 21, 1990

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iTunes Family Matters, Season 2 – Family Matters

Favorite Quotes:

* Steve: Eddie, is this a bad time?
Eddie: Steve I just got dumped.
Steve: Oh good, then you’re free.

* Rachel: You know how people talk when a mature woman dates a younger man.
Mother Winslow: Story of my life.

* Steve: I have reason to believe a certain woman is falling in love with me.
Carl: Well, we can be sure it’s not Laura.

* Carl: It doesn’t look like Laura’s going to be falling into your arms anytime this century.

* Rachel: Steve, I think your cummerbund is on a little too tight.

* Rachel: You’re right Steve. It is Laura you love. Let’s always remember that.

* Mother Winslow: This place is packed tighter than a Cuban cigar.

Synopsis: At Rachel’s Place, a man walks in with flowers. It’s Rachel’s loan officer. Laura is smitten. He’s come to ask her out on a date. She’s hesitant and messes with his head, but agrees to go out with him. At the house, Rachel is in a panic because she can’t find Ritchie. He was reading the newspaper with Carl. At Rachel’s Place, Steve reorganized the freezer and Rachel thanks him. Eddie gets dumped by his girlfriend because he asked another girl out. Steve asks him for advice. However, when he heads back to the kitchen he finds a notebook where Rachel wrote, “Rachel loves Steve.” He thinks she’s writing about him. At the house, Carl is working on the intercom in the kitchen with Ritchie. Ritchie and he tests it out with a scream. Rachel comes back and has a chat in the kitchen with Harriet and Mother Winslow about Steve Webster. She’s worried about the age difference. Steve comes over with notes for Laura. Steve overhears Rachel’s conversation in the kitchen and thinks she is talking about him. When Rachel asks Steve to come to the restaurant Sunday night he misinterprets her intentions and faints. He talks to Carl about it. Carl doesn’t know it’s Rachel and tells him to go for it. He arrives at Rachel’s Place Sunday night in a tuxedo. She thinks it’s a joke. He tells her about overhearing the intercom and she feels bad. Rachel tries to tell him the truth but he smells Laura’s perfume and ends it with Rachel. She plays along to not hurt his feelings. As he leaves, Steve Webber arrives. As they have a romantic evening he tells her the age different isn’t a big deal as she couldn’t be anymore than 30. Later that week, the family is at Rachel’s Place celebrating.

Family Matters S02, Ep01 – Rachel’s Place

Show: Family Matters
Season: 2
Episode: 1
Title: Rachel’s Place
Original Air Date: September 20, 1990

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iTunes Family Matters, Season 2 – Family Matters

Favorite Quotes:

* Carl: Now that sounds good. What exactly do you do?
Rachel: You scoop monkey poop.

* Steve: Would you like those burgers with cheese?
All: Please!!!

* Steve: Did I do that?

* Harriet: We’ll discuss this later but in the meantime, you better pray that stock goes back up.

* Rachel: Mother Winslow this is a blank check.
Mother Winslow: You’re pretty swift.

* Carl: You have that kind of money?
Mother Winslow: Is a frogs butt water tight?

Synopsis: Mother Winslow is off to play tennis. Harriet comes home loaded down with groceries. Carl brings in a load too, huffing and puffing. Rachel lets Carl know that they need a plumber. Carl starts complaining about expenses. Rachel feels bad about the finances and that she doesn’t have a job so she can contribute. As she laments on how hard it is to find a job Laura comes in and announces she’s found a job. Steve follows her in an announces he will be working there too. Laura is now on her first day on the job and her parents come in and embarrass her. It’s finally payday. Laura gets her first check while Steve gets a bill for broken dishes. Leroy heads off to the bank and Laura and Steve are there still cleaning. Steve decides to become a chef, but when he turns on the grill he winds up setting the restaurant on fire and it burns down. Harriet sees the fire and races to check on Laura. She sees her and hugs her. Carl also races over in his squad car and seeing Laura ok, hugs her as well. Leroy chooses to retire in Florida. Some point in the near future Steve, Rachel, Harriet and Carl are having a meeting in the living room. Rachel tells them she wants to buy Leroy’s and rebuild it and run it herself. Carl is hesitant. They show him the picture of what it will look like and he’s impressed. Harriet and Carl discuss it. They decide to help, but Carl informs Harriet that they don’t have enough to cover what she needs. He then tells her about a stock tip from his boss where he invested 5 grand. He lost the money. Harriet is pissed. She calls Rachel back out. They tell her they want to help but they don’t have enough. Mother Winslow storms in upset she was left out. She gives Rachel a blank check. She covers the remaining $5,000 needed for the restaurant. It’s now the grand opening of Rachel’s Place. Rachel also thanks Steve for burning down Leroy’s which made Rachel’s Place possible.

Family Matters S01, Ep22 – Rock Video

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 22
Title: Rock Video
Original Air Date: April 27, 1990

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Amazon Click here to get a copy of Family Matters: Season 1

iTunes Family Matters, Season 1 – Family Matters

Favorite Quotes:

* Steve: Did you think of me while you were camping?
Laura: Yeah, every time I used the bug spray.

* Mother Winslow: Once Carl has made up his mind the best thing to do is stand back and watch him fall.

* Steve: This is going to be the biggest bomb since Howard the Duck.

* Harriet: That wasn’t a rock video. That was a love letter from Eddie Winslow to Eddie winslow.

* Carl: When a man decides to go on an ego trip, he usually winds up going alone.

Synopsis: The family has just returned from a camping trip and are greeted by Steve. He accidently inflates the raft. That afternoon Laura and Judy come into the kitchen and are afraid Carl is paying bills. Instead he’s doing the taxes. Harriet comes home to find Carl doing taxes. Harriet has given Eddie’s band permission to practice. Mother Winslow is dancing. They are prepping for a video shoot. Rachel is going to choreograph. They relocate to the garage where Steve marches in playing the accordion. No one is happy about Steve until he volunteers to shoot the video. Meanwhile, Carl is still trying to do the taxes and failing. The video starts and Eddie wants it to be all about him. Later, everyone is in the living room to watch the video. No one is pleased. Steve tells them the instructions Eddie gave him and everyone quits. In the kitchen, Carl has finished the taxes. Harriet arrives. She had his brother do their taxes. When she tells him they are getting a refund he’s thrilled. Carl goes out to check on Eddie. They have a heart to heart. At dinner Carl suggests they all help Eddie make the video. He agrees but only if Aunt Rachel rewrites the lyrics. It’s now time for the results. They win the contest.

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