Family Matters S01, Ep18 – Sitting Pretty

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 18
Title: Sitting Pretty
Original Air Date: February 20, 1990

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Favorite Quotes:

* Mother Winslow: Another loser, huh, Rachel?

* Laura: I guess I could call Steve Urkel. Did I say that?

* Laura: Pardon me, but you must have mistaken me for someone who cares.

* Carl: We’re having leg of lamb for dinner. I hope she didn’t break it, it’s hard to cut through the cast.

* Laura: All right, all right. If I ever mention babysitting again, just kill me.

* Rachel: This is my child. My only child.

* Laura: I know. My baby-sitting business blew up in my face.
Carl: Like the Hindenburg.

Synopsis: Steve comes over and tells Laura he has tickets to a rock and mineral show. No one wants to go with him. It’s another day and Carl is worried about impressing his new captain. Laura announces she is starting a baby-sitting business. Rachel comes home from a date, but she stops him at the door. That night Carl practices his fishing in the kitchen and catches a drape. Eddie comes in the kitchen as the phone rings. He’s upset that the call is for Laura and not him. It’s for her baby-sitting service but she has no one available. That night Rachel can’t decide what to wear on her date. Carl rushes in and tells her he invited him over for dinner. In the living room, Laura’s sitters are all cancelling. Harriet freaks out when she finds out about the dinner. Eddie comes in and tells Laura he has a date. He also tells her everyone has cancelled because of a Paula Abdul concert. Laura calls everyone and tells them to drop their kids at her house. Rachel comes down the stairs in a panic. She nearly leaves with Ritchie. Eddie is leaving and Laura bluffs him into staying. Later that evening, all the kids are there and the house is looking like a mess. Steve comes over and Laura tells him she’s glad to see him. He gets excited but she just wants him to track down a missing kid. Carl and Harriet bust into the kitchen as a kid joins them and shoots Carl with a dart. They don’t know who the kid was. They go into the living room and find all the kids. Carl goes into a meltdown. Harriet tries to save the day by dividing up the kids. Steve comes back in and announces the twins are snorkeling in Mother Winslow’s waterbed. Carl manages to straighten up the living room just in time for Captain Davenport’s arrival. Carl chats him up and Harriet exits to check on the food. A large crash is heard. He races into the living room to find Steve in distress. However, all the baby sitters are wrangling kids. All the rest have converged downstairs and have tied up Captain Davenport. He’s having a blast. Rachel returns home with Jeff. This time she invites him in. She tells him about Ritchie. They enter and the swarm of kids is rather scary. Laura comes in with Ritchie and hands him to Rachel. Jeff is relieved she only has one kid. He tells her he’s sticking around. Carl and Captain Davenport says their goodbyes and he’s still happy. Laura’s babysitting business is now over. Carl and Harriet head into the kitchen to clean up, but Mother Winslow shoots him in the head with a dart.

Family Matters S01, Ep17 – The Big Fix

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 17
Title: The Big Fix
Original Air Date: February 9, 1990

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Favorite Quotes:

* Eddie: Urkel? I’d rather eat worms.
Laura: He can teach you that too.

* Rachel: Steve, did it ever occur to you that when the door’s closed we’re trying to keep unwanted people out?

* Steve: This is my busy season. I’m trying to teach the football team fractions.

* Eddie: A couple of measly hours of your time is his dream come true.
Laura: And give me nightmares for the rest of my life.

* Laura: Let’s just say he’s a world class nerd with no redeeming qualities:
Harriet: Sounds like Steve Urkel.
Laura: It is.

* Carl: That’s not a mercy date. That’s Lord have mercy, date.

* Mother Winslow: If I was a few years younger I’d give you a run for your money.
Laura: Want a head start?

* Carl: Do you want this fast or do you want this good?
Mother Winslow: I don’t think he’s got a shot either way.

* Laura: Right now all I can see is Steve running out of the restaurant with a tablecloth tucked in his pants.

Synopsis: The kids are playing video games. The parents send them off to bed so they can play the video game. In the kitchen Carl tries to teach Eddie algebra, but he’s not having much success. He determines something is wrong with the chair. Laura and Harriet enter the kitchen. She wants to stay up all night and study but Harriet’s not having it. She becomes worried when Carl announces that the chair is wobbly and that he’s going to fix it himself. She looks forward to a new kitchen set. Eddie tells Laura he’s going to fail and she suggests asking Steve for help. The next day in the kitchen, Rachel, Mother Winslow and Judy are working on log cabins when Steve comes over. He’s there to help Eddie with algebra. Steve plays hardball out tutoring him. He gives Eddie his baseline test and is shocked that Eddie gets every question wrong. Steve takes the Prince tickets as collateral. At dinner, Carl toasts the kids success on their midterms. Steve interrupts dinner. Thanks to Steve’s help Eddie got a B. He wants a date with Laura as his payment. Later, Eddie tries to warm Laura up to Steve. Whn he tells her he promised him a date with her and she flips her lid. Meanwhile, Carl shows Harriet the chair he fixed, but actually made worse. Laura comes in the kitchen and asks them if they went out people out of pity. Then she finally admits it’s with Steve. Mother Winslow defends him though. Later, Steve comes over to find out about his date with Laura. When Eddie tells him she said no he threatens to keep the Prince tickets. However, Laura comes out and surprises all stating she’ll go out with Steve. She lays out some ground rules and he agrees. On Friday night, she heads out for her date with Steve. He’s taking her out in a hearse, after dropping off a body. They arrive at dinner at a fancy restaurant. Steve orders frog legs for dinner. Before they are even served he causes a massive calamity. He tries to impress her with words that make her nauseous. Then he asks for a kiss on the cheek. He sells her on a pity story and she gives in. His uncle is there and snaps a photo. She storms out of the restaurant. He chases her and brings the table with him. Back in the kitchen, Carl is sitting in an exceptionally short chair unable to reach the marshmallows. Laura storms in and has nothing good to say about her date with Steve. Laura returns the Prince tickets to Eddie. Her reward is that Eddie is taking her to the Price concert.

Family Matters S01, Ep16 – The Party

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 16
Title: The Party
Original Air Date: February 3, 1990

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Favorite Quotes:

* Steve: No one slams a phone down like Laura.

* Carl: Eddie is cooking dinner? Maybe I should call 911 now and make a reservation.

* Laura: You’re putting Eddie in charge? Do you want a moment to reflect on this?

* Eddie: What would you rather eat, pizza or a charcoal loaf?
Laura and Judy: Let the man in.

* Carl: I’m not lost. I’m just not sure where I am. There is a difference.

* Mother Winslow: Carl, how many times have I told you there are no shortcuts in life?

* Harriet: Let’s kill him Carl. We’re still young. We can have more children.

* Eddie: I guess this means you’re going to ground us, huh?
Harriet: Into dust.

Synopsis: Eddie is watching music videos on the couch. Steve comes over and Eddie gets him dancing. The next day Carl is practicing a roast speech for his brother’s birthday. In the kitchen, Eddie is cooking dinner. He’s also in charge while they are gone. Rachel comes down the stairs with little Ritchie and a giant suitcase. Eddie presents dinner. The meatloaf is a charcoal briquette. Rodney shows up with pizza. Carl tries to convince his wife, mother and Rachel that he knows where he is going. Mother Winslow scolds him. When he tries to restart the car and continue on, it’s dead. He gets out of the car to check the sign. He is going to walk back to the gas station. Back at the house there is a knock on the door. Rodney told a bunch of people where he would be. It’s two females he is clearly attracted too and he lets them in. Laura decides that she is going to have friends over too. Judy is happy with a bribe. The doorbell rings and it’s a whole bunch of people. Carl gets back to the car and tells them the gas station is closed. The ladies turn on him. He tries to calm them by telling them he called for a tow truck under the highway 180 sign, but Harriet discovers it’s actually 130. However, a bright light comes up behind them. It’s the highway patrol. He offers to help them. At the Winslow house the party is now in full swing. Eddie is trying to clean. Steve comes over. In the kitchen, a fight breaks out. They decide to settle it by replaying a play with a gravy boat. Eddie and Laura go back in the living room and it’s a disaster. Carl and company return home and it’s not good. When the broken gravy boat is discovered Harriet loses her temper. Both Eddie and Laura get a talking to. Carl finally collapses on the couch and hears strange sounds coming from it. He pulls up the seat cushion to find Steve.

Family Matters S01, Ep15 – The Big Reunion

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 15
Title: The Big Reunion
Original Air Date: January 23, 1990

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Favorite Quotes:

* Steve: Did I do that?
Laura: No, it’s the prize that came with the cereal.

* Laura: Go for it Eddie, reach for the stars.

* Laura: Were all Dad’s friends named Darnell?
Mother Winslow: Yes, they were very confusing times.

* Mother Winslow: Do you think you could get this past the jaws of life?

* Carl: Rachel, I’ve had more food than this stuck between my teeth.

* Harriet: Carl, baby food? That’s pathetic.

* Harriet: You eat that and you can kiss your diet goodbye.

Synopsis: Eddie asks the girls to let their mother know he’s heading out to play basketball, but before he leaves Steve shows up. He looks like a sports nerd. Eddie leaves and Steve annoys Laura. He tries to show off some moves but instead drops his basketball in her cereal. That night Eddie comes home and announces someone got fired in produce, he wants to move up. Harriet takes a call. Carl has a high school reunion coming up. Everyone talks about the singing group Carl was in. He walks in and is surprised. Carl doesn’t want to go to his 20th reunion. He admits he does not want to go because he’s put on some weight. Rachel comes home from the gym. Harriet suggests having Rachel help. He doesn’t want her help, but finally gives in. The next night at dinner everyone is feasting but Carl. He gets some steamed vegetables for dinner. Later that night he sneaks downstairs for a midnight snack but finds the fridge has been locked. His desperation leads him to eat baby food. He tries to hide but gets caught. The next day Carl is on an exercise bike. One of the girls left a cupcake out and he tries to grab it. Laura comes down and gets it, making Carl cry. Later that day Eddie comes home, he got the job in produce. It’s time for Carl to weigh in and thanks to Rachel’s insane diet and work out plan he’s lost 11 pounds. Now he’s willing to go the reunion until he finds out that he and his group are going to sing. Once again he will not go. Later that night Harriet finds Carl in the kitchen with ice cream. He finally admits that he’s worried about what the Darnell’s will think about him. Now he’s going to go. It’s now the night of the reunion. They arrive and everything is going well. He finds all the Darnell’s and they happily reunite. Carl and his group sing their song and it’s a hit.

Family Matters S01, Ep14 – Baker’s Dozen

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 14
Title: Baker’s Dozen
Original Air Date: January 11, 1990

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Favorite Quotes:

* Laura: Urkel, don’t you ever knock?
Steve: No, I don’t like to disturb anyone.

* Harriet: Carl, you don’t cook you burn. You burn eggs, you burn toast. You’re the only man I know who burns jello.

* Harriet: You and Carl in my kitchen cooking? I don’t think so.

* Carl: 12,000 tarts in two days??

* Harriet: Oh it’s full all right, it’s got 12,000 tarts in it.

* Harriet: A few odds and ends?
Rachel: Just the bare necessities.

* Harriet: Rachel, have you lost your mind?

* Harriet: Now I know how the pastry chef felt on the Titanic.

* Judy: Mom I hate tarts.
Harriet: We all do honey.

* Carl: Ask your Aunt Rachel, she’s the head tart.

* Carl: I’m not going to regret this, I’m going to love it.

* Harriet: Look at you people. Look at my kitchen. Have you all lost your minds?

Synopsis: The kids head to the mall as Steve arrives. But since he wants to come they change their plans. They trick him into hide and seek and sneak out. Steve is now looking for them, but he walks in on Rachel in the shower. Later, dinner has ended and the kids try to run off without doing the dishes. Carl announces he made desert, lemon cream tarts. Everyone is afraid to eat the tarts. They get brave and try the tarts, they love them. Rachel asks Carl if he can make a batch for her writer’s workshop. The next day Carl comes home from work. Rachel comes running in. One of the people in her group wants to buy Carl’s tarts. The batch is a big hit according to Rachel. Harriet is skeptical. They want 12,000 tarts by Monday. Rachel has also brought a massive amount of baking supplies. Harriet tries to make them see reason, but her concern falls on deaf ears. While baking Steve comes over. He offers to help and Rachel asks if he has an oven. He agrees if he can have Laura’s hand in marriage. After upsetting Carl, Steve leaves. Laura and Judy start to fight. Judy gets to go to bed. Rachel and Carl get into a fight. It erupts into a food fight. Steve comes back over mid food fight and gets covered in tarts. Harriet returns and tries to stop the madness. The family wakes in the living room, they finished the tarts two hours earlier. Their profit is $24.00 total, not each. They all console each other. Laura does point out that they did meet their goal of cooking 12,000 tarts.

Family Matters S01, Ep13 – Man’s Best Friend

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 13
Title: Man’s Best Friend
Original Air Date: January 8, 1990

Favorite Quotes:

* Eddie: Urkel, why don’t you ever knock?
Steve: If I did nobody would ever let me in.

* Laura (to Steve): I’m never going out with you. You make my skin crawl.

* Steve: Did I do that?

* Harriet: It’s a dog.
Rachel: Good Harriet, you got that right on the first try.

* Carl: I just had the worst day of my life. I was in a high speed car chase and ran out of gas.

* Carl: Edward, clean up this room. It smells like an animal in here.

* Harriet: Carl, that was 20 years ago. Get some therapy.

* Harriet: Around you he’s Benjie, around us he’s Kujo.

Synopsis: Steve comes over. He tells Eddie he’s going to ask her out. She comes down the stairs, asks her out and gets turned down cold. Rejected, Steve turns to leave, but catches his foot on the sheet that is under Eddie’s ship and it falls. The next day the kids come into the kitchen very excited. It’s a dog. The kids explain how they tried everything to find his owner and since they couldn’t they want to adopt him. Harriet agrees, but Carl comes home and they hide the dog. He’s in a bad mood. Nearly running over Eddie’s bike in the driveway hasn’t helped his mood. Later that night Rachel goes to Eddie’s room with all kinds of stuff for the dog. Carl goes to Eddie’s room and they have to hide the dog. Carl is a tad surprised to find everyone hanging out in Eddie’s room. Carl just wanted to apologize. He finds the dog treats and likes them. The next morning and they still haven’t told Carl about the dog. He comes downstairs and his favorite slipper is all chewed up. He hears the dog scratching the laundry room door. He opens the laundry room door and is greeted by the dog. Carl is not happy. Rachel suddenly comes down stairs and tries to act like Carl got it for the kids. He tells them a story about a dog he had when he was a kid and how heartbroken he was when the dog died. Rachel jumps in about all the things Carl learned by having a dog. He finally gives in. The next day the kids head to the mall after taking care of the dog. Steve comes over looking for her. He goes into the kitchen to get food and the dog has a hold of him. He quickly exits. Carl is thrilled that the dog gets rid of Steve. Two weeks later the kids aren’t happy with the dog. He’s eaten Eddie’s home and Laura’s solar system. Carl comes in with Mickey and shows the tricks he has taught him. Carl leaves for work. Mickey steals some bacon. Rachel goes into the laundry room to get her work out clothes and the dog has shredded them, along with Harriet’s new silk blouse. When Carl comes home the family is waiting for him. They inform him he’s destructive and locked in the garage. Carl is very upset. He will find Mickey a new home. Carl talks to Mickey and tells him he found him a new home in the country where he can run and play and chew on things. Carl arrives home from dropping Mickey off. He already misses him. Steve pops over and brings Carl and ant farm to try and cheer him up. It doesn’t have any ants, so he brought some. But he knocks them over.

Family Matters S01, Ep12 – Laura’s First Date

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 12
Title: Laura’s First Date
Original Air Date: December 18, 1989

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Favorite Quotes:

* Eddie: The dress is bad enough but this push up bra is killing me.

* Laura: You know Mom in some countries girls get married at 13.
Harriet: Sure and they die at 30.

* Laura: Was that a yes?
Carl: No but I think it was a threat on your life.

* Laura: Not Urkel. Not now. Not ever.

* Judy: Brussels sprouts make me puke.

* Laura: That’s how I know a dance is coming up, the phone goes dead.

* Eddie: No guts, no glory.

* Eddie: Laura, any guy that wouldn’t go out with you isn’t good enough for you anyway.

* Rachel: Why did you do that?
Harriet: I didn’t know it was a tear-away dress.

* Carl: I already set her up with Steve Urkel.
Eddie: The mouse eater?
Carl: He eats mice?

* Laura: You hired Tyrone to take me to the dance?

* Harriet: Dear Lord, please let this boy like her.

* Laura: Next time you think about fixing me up, think of Steve Urkel.

Synopsis: Rachel has Eddie in a dress while she alters it. Carl, Laura and Judy walk in and are concerned. Laura tries to talk with Harriet about a dance and she won’t have it. She asks her Carl, who says yes. Harriet is not happy. Laura keeps trying. Carl talks to Harriet about the dance. But Harriet is worried that Laura will get serious about a boy too soon. Harriet gives in, but she is not happy. Later at Leroy’s Laura and her friend are talking about dates. Urkel comes over and asks Laura to the dance. Back at the house the family is eating dinner. Rachel tells Laura she wants to make her a dress for the dance. Carl hits the phones trying to get a date for Laura. He calls Mr. Urkel, Steve’s dad and sets her up with him. Laura is moping on the back porch and Eddie tries to cheer her up. He suggests she calls Mark and asks him to the dance herself. Eddie heads off to shoot hoops and Laura heads back in the house. She calls Mark and asks him to the dance. It’s dance night and Laura is wearing the dress Rachel made. Harriet pulls a loose string and a sleeve falls off. Laura freaks out. Carl homes home and Carl mentions Steve. The doorbell rings and its Steve. Carl learns from Steve that Laura is not his biggest fan and he starts to have regrets. Eddie comes in with Tryrone, he’s taking Laura to the dance. So now there are two dates at the house. Laura comes down stairs in a different dress. She becomes outraged. The doorbell rings and its Mark, Laura’s date. He tries to rush them out, but Steve appears. Steve tells them that Carl set up the date. Laura rushes off upset. The two non-dates are dealt with. Harriet tries to calm her down. Laura tells her that she asked him. Harriet tells her it took Carl 6 weeks to work up the courage to ask her out. Back in the living room Mark tells Laura he’s liked her for a long time. They leave for the dance. Rachel rushes back in with the dress repaired. Later that evening Harriet and Carl are watching a movie when Laura comes home. She had a good time.

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