Family Matters S02, Ep04 – Flashpants

Show: Family Matters
Season: 2
Episode: 4
Title: Flashpants
Original Air Date: October 5, 1990

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Favorite Quotes:

* Laura: Oh great. It’s dance contest time again.

* Laura: It’s real depressing watching people your age do the lambada.

* Carl: Is Rachel here?
Harriet: No, but I’m sure she heard you.

* Carl: My back just went out and pain came in.

* Harriet: You can spend the rest of your life looking like a pretzel.

* Laura: Want us to hang you out on the porch so you can get some sun?
Carl: Just go.

* Carl: We got to beat the Carnelli’s we’re just a jitterbug away from victory.

* Harriet: I’m going to fix you a big banana split and then hang you up on the door.

Synopsis: Laura comes down in her Rachel’s uniform hoping to avoid Steve on her way to work. Leaving early doesn’t work as he’s waiting at the door. They are all sitting around the table having breakfast. Carl comes in and starts dancing with Harriet. It’s time for the yearly Policeman’s Dance Competition. That night Carl comes up upset. Charlie is on Carl’s nerves. He even tried to kill a jacket. Charlie was bragging about winning the dance competition and Carl wouldn’t stand for it. Carl wants Rachel to choreograph a spectacular dance routine. They practice it and it looks amazing. Carl takes a bow and his back goes out. Rachel calls the doctor to get help. Harriet decides to pull out of the dance contest, but Carl doesn’t want to. The appointment is in an hour, but that’s how long it’s going to take Carl to get to the car. Later, Carl is hanging on a door. Eddie and Laura ask for money for the mall. Carl is now home alone, however, Steve comes over. He tells him he’s going to be with him for every moment he has to hang on the door. Carl is not happy. It’s now the night of the dance contest. Charlie and his wife perform their dance, and they’re good. Next up is Carl and Harriet. They do quite well. The MC announces the winners are actually a tie between Carl and Charlie and their wives. They will have to do a dance off and it will be the jitterbug. But when Carl takes a bow at this news his back goes out again. Charlie notices and has to rib him about it. But Charlie trips and hurts his ankle walking away. Both try and do the jitterbug injured. But Charlie’s wife calls a time out for his injury. Carl then admits he is also injured and suggests a tie. Instead the commissioner’s kids get awarded the trophy. Now that the dance contest is over, everyone gets to dance. Harriet congratulates Carl on being such a good sport.


Family Matters S02, Ep02 – Torn Between Two Lovers

Show: Family Matters
Season: 2
Episode: 2
Title: Torn Between Two Lovers
Original Air Date: September 21, 1990

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iTunes Family Matters, Season 2 – Family Matters

Favorite Quotes:

* Steve: Eddie, is this a bad time?
Eddie: Steve I just got dumped.
Steve: Oh good, then you’re free.

* Rachel: You know how people talk when a mature woman dates a younger man.
Mother Winslow: Story of my life.

* Steve: I have reason to believe a certain woman is falling in love with me.
Carl: Well, we can be sure it’s not Laura.

* Carl: It doesn’t look like Laura’s going to be falling into your arms anytime this century.

* Rachel: Steve, I think your cummerbund is on a little too tight.

* Rachel: You’re right Steve. It is Laura you love. Let’s always remember that.

* Mother Winslow: This place is packed tighter than a Cuban cigar.

Synopsis: At Rachel’s Place, a man walks in with flowers. It’s Rachel’s loan officer. Laura is smitten. He’s come to ask her out on a date. She’s hesitant and messes with his head, but agrees to go out with him. At the house, Rachel is in a panic because she can’t find Ritchie. He was reading the newspaper with Carl. At Rachel’s Place, Steve reorganized the freezer and Rachel thanks him. Eddie gets dumped by his girlfriend because he asked another girl out. Steve asks him for advice. However, when he heads back to the kitchen he finds a notebook where Rachel wrote, “Rachel loves Steve.” He thinks she’s writing about him. At the house, Carl is working on the intercom in the kitchen with Ritchie. Ritchie and he tests it out with a scream. Rachel comes back and has a chat in the kitchen with Harriet and Mother Winslow about Steve Webster. She’s worried about the age difference. Steve comes over with notes for Laura. Steve overhears Rachel’s conversation in the kitchen and thinks she is talking about him. When Rachel asks Steve to come to the restaurant Sunday night he misinterprets her intentions and faints. He talks to Carl about it. Carl doesn’t know it’s Rachel and tells him to go for it. He arrives at Rachel’s Place Sunday night in a tuxedo. She thinks it’s a joke. He tells her about overhearing the intercom and she feels bad. Rachel tries to tell him the truth but he smells Laura’s perfume and ends it with Rachel. She plays along to not hurt his feelings. As he leaves, Steve Webber arrives. As they have a romantic evening he tells her the age different isn’t a big deal as she couldn’t be anymore than 30. Later that week, the family is at Rachel’s Place celebrating.

Family Matters S01, Ep20 – The Candidate

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 20
Title: The Candidate
Original Air Date: March 23, 1990

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Favorite Quotes:

* Harriet: Rachel, you’re not going to go off the deep end with this ecology thing, are you?

* Laura: Since when you do spell Eddie with one d?

* Laura: Well unless we find a picture of Margie on a yacht with Gary Hart, we’re dead meat.

* Urkel: She’s a real nerd.
Laura: You’re calling her a nerd?

* Harriet: Rachel, this place looks like a recycling center.
Rachel: It is a recycling center.

* Rachel: I’m sorry I jumped off the deep end, again.

* Carl: How did your parents ever survive her wonder years?

* Eddie: Margie will make a much better president than me.
Laura: Oh yeah, absolutely.

Synopsis: Steve is posing as a Greek God for Eddie. Laura comes down and is grossed out. After school Eddie and Rodney come home to announce that Eddie is going to run for student council. Rachel tells Eddie that women are attracted to men in power, so this seals the deal. Later that night, Rachel comes in the kitchen with empty soda cans. She then flips out when Carl tries to put whipped cream on his pie. It’s another day, and Rodney and Eddie are working on campaign slogans. Laura helps out. Eddie makes her his campaign manager. In the kitchen, Rachel has a bunch of garbage cans for recycling in the kitchen. Harriet is not amused. That night, Laura brings Eddie in and he’s in a suit and practicing for his campaign. Rodney bursts in and tells them that he arranged a debate for Eddie. Laura tries to choke him but Eddie stops him. Steve comes over. She tries to kick him out but he stays. He hums loudly. Eddie mentions the campaign. Steve tells them that he knows her. It’s time for the debate and Laura tries to prep Eddie. Rodney has prepared some of the students to sabotage Margie. The debate begins and Eddie tries to get on the moderator’s good side. Back at the house, Harriet and Carl enter the kitchen to find it a disaster. Rachel has turned it into a recycling center. They have an emotionally charged discussion about recycling. Rachel apologizes and promises to clean it up. Back at the debate, Margie is being sandbagged. However, Eddie gets upset and stops them. He withdraws from the race. Eddie arrives home to find Laura ticked off. He wanted to win honestly not because of dirty tricks. She admits that winning went to her head.

Family Matters S01, Ep18 – Sitting Pretty

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 18
Title: Sitting Pretty
Original Air Date: February 20, 1990

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Favorite Quotes:

* Mother Winslow: Another loser, huh, Rachel?

* Laura: I guess I could call Steve Urkel. Did I say that?

* Laura: Pardon me, but you must have mistaken me for someone who cares.

* Carl: We’re having leg of lamb for dinner. I hope she didn’t break it, it’s hard to cut through the cast.

* Laura: All right, all right. If I ever mention babysitting again, just kill me.

* Rachel: This is my child. My only child.

* Laura: I know. My baby-sitting business blew up in my face.
Carl: Like the Hindenburg.

Synopsis: Steve comes over and tells Laura he has tickets to a rock and mineral show. No one wants to go with him. It’s another day and Carl is worried about impressing his new captain. Laura announces she is starting a baby-sitting business. Rachel comes home from a date, but she stops him at the door. That night Carl practices his fishing in the kitchen and catches a drape. Eddie comes in the kitchen as the phone rings. He’s upset that the call is for Laura and not him. It’s for her baby-sitting service but she has no one available. That night Rachel can’t decide what to wear on her date. Carl rushes in and tells her he invited him over for dinner. In the living room, Laura’s sitters are all cancelling. Harriet freaks out when she finds out about the dinner. Eddie comes in and tells Laura he has a date. He also tells her everyone has cancelled because of a Paula Abdul concert. Laura calls everyone and tells them to drop their kids at her house. Rachel comes down the stairs in a panic. She nearly leaves with Ritchie. Eddie is leaving and Laura bluffs him into staying. Later that evening, all the kids are there and the house is looking like a mess. Steve comes over and Laura tells him she’s glad to see him. He gets excited but she just wants him to track down a missing kid. Carl and Harriet bust into the kitchen as a kid joins them and shoots Carl with a dart. They don’t know who the kid was. They go into the living room and find all the kids. Carl goes into a meltdown. Harriet tries to save the day by dividing up the kids. Steve comes back in and announces the twins are snorkeling in Mother Winslow’s waterbed. Carl manages to straighten up the living room just in time for Captain Davenport’s arrival. Carl chats him up and Harriet exits to check on the food. A large crash is heard. He races into the living room to find Steve in distress. However, all the baby sitters are wrangling kids. All the rest have converged downstairs and have tied up Captain Davenport. He’s having a blast. Rachel returns home with Jeff. This time she invites him in. She tells him about Ritchie. They enter and the swarm of kids is rather scary. Laura comes in with Ritchie and hands him to Rachel. Jeff is relieved she only has one kid. He tells her he’s sticking around. Carl and Captain Davenport says their goodbyes and he’s still happy. Laura’s babysitting business is now over. Carl and Harriet head into the kitchen to clean up, but Mother Winslow shoots him in the head with a dart.

Family Matters S01, Ep07 – Body Damage

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 7
Title: Body Damage
Original Air Date: November 10, 1989

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Favorite Quotes:

* Harriet: I don’t mind the living. It’s the dying I’m trying to avoid.

* Rachel: Carl is going to kill me. He still hasn’t forgiven me for breaking his Flintstones coffee mug.

* Laura: Eddie, you have the IQ of frozen yogurt.

* Carl: Who fixed the car?
Rachel: I did.
Carl: Think you can do it again?
Rachel: I’ll get the torch.

Synopsis: Dinner wraps up and Harriet assigns the children to do the dishes. The next day at dinner Laura asks Eddie if he is going to a big party. She rubs it in that he is grounded. Rachel asks Laura to quiz her on her automotive test. Carl comes in with great news. He’s got the best safety record in the city and gets to drive in the Columbus Day Parade as the lead car. He gets to drive a 1936 Ford. The car has been driven by Elliot Ness. Everyone tries to pile in but Carl stops them. Carl is napping on the couch. Mother Winslow tells Harriet she taught him how to drive and that she gave up driving when they lowered the speed limit. In the kitchen Rachel wants to take a peek at the car. In the garage Rachel drools over the car. They both admire it. Rachel wants to drive it. Harriet gives in and they both hop in the car. But the drive is short lived when Rachel crashes into a tree. As she backs back up the driveway the fender has a nasty dent. Rachel tries to blame it on Harriet but she isn’t having any of it. Rachel says she can fix it before the parade as she aced fender and body work class. She begs. Later that night Harriet comes down stairs and sneaks out to the garage to check on the process. She startles Rachel while she is blow torching. She shoulder taps again to try and find out when she’ll be done. Rachel shoos Harriet away. Eddie comes out and finds the mess. Rachel enlists his help since he is still up. She asks him to put the tools in the toolbox but he tosses them instead making a lot of noise. When Harriet comes back into the kitchen she catches Carl red handed having a midnight snack. He comments on the noise and she stops him from going outside to check out the sounds. Eddie comes in and Carl thinks he broke his curfew. Harriet goes with curfew breaking and then takes over the situation. The next morning Rachel comes into the kitchen for coffee and asking how much time she has left. Eddie comes down with a confession for Harriet to sign. Carl comes down dressed and to stall him Harriet pulls a button off his uniform. She sends him to his mother for repairs. She makes a mad dash to Rachel to update her on the situation. She should taps her while Rachel is painting. Harriet runs back in to get the whole family to stall. When Harriet tells them what happened Laura finds it amusing. They all try to use it to their advantage. Carl comes back down again and Laura jumps into action. The stall tactics are transparent. Eddie slips about the car. Carl runs out and Harriet throws herself across the garage door. He opens it to find Rachel polishing the fender. Carl leaves for the parade and everyone goes into the living room and breaths a sigh of relief. The kids try to blackmail them. The doorbell rings and Carl walks in holding a fender. He is not happy and informs them when he returns he will do a lot of yelling. They arrive back from the parade. They all wait for Carl to return and be angry. Carl storms in doing the full body ticked off bob/bounce. Harriet confesses and apologizes. Carl is disappointed because now he can’t yell. He’s hurt because they didn’t go to him when they were in trouble. They promise not to go behind his back again. Carl asks who fixed the Car. Rachel says she did. Carl asks if she could do it again as he accidentally backed into a float.

Family Matters S01, Ep04 – Rachel’s First Date

Show: Family Matters
Season: 1
Episode: 4
Title: Rachel’s First Date
Original Air Date: October 13, 1989

Guest Stars:
Peter Fitzsimmons: Alan

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Favorite Quotes:

* Mother Winslow: Well don’t go to one of them slasher movies. You know how they give you nightmares.
Harriet: You got that right. Every time he sees one he sleeps with a night light on.
Carl: Well now what’s wrong with that?
Harriet: It’s got a 200 watt blub.

* Carl: Rachel, you’ve got to start dating again. You’re driving us nuts.
Harriet: Thank you, Officer Tact.

* Carl: When you think she’ll notice she forgot the baby?
Harriet: I think she’ll notice when she tries to burp the bag.

* Rachel: No, it’s too sexy. I don’t want him to think I’m sexy.
Harriet: Is it ok if he thinks you’re a woman?
Rachel: Not on the first date.

*Rachel: What do people do on dates now?
Harriet: They do what they’ve always done.
Rachel: Oh, Harriet, that’s not good.

Synopsis: Urkel drops by to see Laura, but she’s not home. Carl is making a sundae and Urkel tricks him out of it. In the kitchen Carl, Harriet and Mother Winslow talk. Carl and Harriet are going to a movie. The kids come down stairs fighting. The girls head off to a slumber party. Carl and Harriet are excited about their romantic date, but Rachel decides to tag along and kills the romance. Carl is not happy. The come back and Carl is crankier than when they left. Carl wants to talk with Rachel and put an end to the tag along. As they relax on the couch Rachel takes over and Carl comes out with it very bluntly. Harriet tries to soften the blow. Rachel isn’t exactly interested in dating anyone right now, but she agrees to go out with Alan the next time he calls. The next day Carl is calling everyone in the phone book who’s name matches Alan. He’s worried he has given up. Rachel and Richie come home. The phone rings and Harriet answers, it’s Alan. Carl is thrilled. He asks her out again and as she starts to blow him off, Harriet gives her a look. They are going out to dinner on Tuesday. Rachel is getting ready for her date with Alan but she cannot decide what to wear. She’s nervous and Harriet tries to calm her. Downstairs Eddie is playing cards with Laura, and he’s losing even though he’s using a marked deck. The doorbell rings and Carl is excited to Alan. Laura volunteers to deal him some poker, so Carl sends her up to get Rachel. Rachel’s door opens and Laura announces Alan is there, but Rachel starts melting down. Harriet tasks Laura with entertaining Alan in the meantime. Carl goes up to deal with Rachel. Eddie tries to do a magic trick and it fails. Upstairs, Harriet looses her patience with Rachel. Judy and Mother Winslow come home. They sold 232 boxes of girl scout cookies and set a new record. Mother Winslow goes to find out what’s keeping Rachel. Harriet kicks Carl out as he’s not helping. Mother Winslow talks with Rachel. She’s upset because she feels like she’s cheating on her deceased husband. Mother Winslow is able to calm her down and she decides to go on her date after all. Downstairs, Laura and Judy are providing some musical entertainment for Alan. Rachel finally comes down and she and Alan go on their date. Harriet and Carl enjoy some time on the back porch as Rachel comes out to announce she is home. She might see him again.

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