Mama’s Family S02, Ep08 – Gert Rides Again

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 8
Title: Gert Rides Again
Original Air Date: December 1, 1983


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Favorite Quotes:

* Mama: Well hurry it up. King Tut didn’t have that much wrapping on him.

* Mama: When you get old and do the same things as when you were young people think you’ve gone bonkers.

* Mama: If wrapping one present gets you this turned on Christmas around here should be a real barn burner.

* Mama: If she was any calmer she’d be a doily.

* Mama: Gertie how can you be old when you’re still getting offers like that?

* Mama: You are as young as you feel and right now I feel like a beer.

* Mama: Why do you talk like that? This isn’t Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood.

* Vint: Hey Skeeter, why don’t we play post office anymore?
Mama: You two have graduated to Federal Express.


Synopsis: Vint and Noami are necking on the couch. Mama comes out disgusted. Fran comes running down the stairs with a gift too. They all talk about Aunt Gert. The gifts are all for her birthday. Mama tells a story from when she and Gert were younger. Mama leaves and the two start necking again. When Mama arrives to visit Gert she is shocked. She doesn’t want to open her present because she is bored to death. The nurse comes in and annoys Thelma. The nurse tells Thelma about the birthday party. One of the male residents pops in and proposes some hanky panky with Gert. Back at the house, Mama is sad at Gert’s state. Fran, Vint and Naomi try to comfort her. Thelma goes to visit her again on her birthday and she still hasn’t opened her gift. Thelma tries to kick her into gear. She brushes her hair and makes her get dressed. She finally gets Gert to act like herself again. Downstairs at the party, everyone is getting restless. Gert and Thelma arrive at the party. Out comes the cake and everyone sings Happy Birthday. Next they have to play musical chairs. Thelma gets annoyed by the nurse again and goes after her. Thelma gets someone to play the piano and starts a Conga line. At Mama’s house, the doorbell is ringing. She opens it and finds Gert at the door. She tells them they partied all night long. Fran comes down and is shocked to see Gert. Vint and Naomi come in too. Gert tells them all about the party. Gert announces that she and Alvin are looking for an apartment.

Mama’s Family S02, Ep07 – Ellen’s Boyfriend

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 7
Title: Ellen’s Boyfriend
Original Air Date: November 17, 1983


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Favorite Quotes:

* Mama: Sassiness does not sit well on a young face Missy.

* Mama: These slides are boring my bunions off too.

* Mama: Presbyterian, huh? Well they run a good bingo.

* Mama: I hope this things in English. I hate it when you have to guess what you’re eating.

* Mama: I hope you two old bags live happily ever after.

* Mama: What was she thinking? I’ve got wrinkles that are older than that boy.

* Mama: If I give it enough time he won’t be too young for you.

* Mama: Lord, how did I ever raise such a pack of sex maniacs?


Synopsis: Mama is trying to set up a projector screen. Buzz and Sonja try to sneak out but Mama catches them. Fran doesn’t want to watch the slides either. Everyone is up in arms over watching the slides. Ellen pops in and tells them she’s not staying. The kids make a run for it. Ellen is going to a lonely-hearts club. Before she leaves, Vint gives her some spare keys for her new locks. Mama decides they are still going to watch the slides. Later, Ellen get dropped off at Mama’s by Glenn. He wants to meet her family. He’s taking her to dinner at Chez Ray. However, it turns out Mama is home. When she walks in Mama wants Ellen to take her to the dentist. Mama wants to meet the man, but Ellen runs out. Vint finally gets off the phone and tells Mama he won. They are all going to Chez Ray tonight. Ellen and Glenn are at the restaurant. He leaves the table as Mama and family walk in. Fran spots Ellen. They all decide to join her. Ellen tells Mama that Glenn brought her there. Ellen introduces everyone to Glenn. Fran notices the bag that Ellen is using and flips her lid. They all make a big scene. The manager tries to calm it down. Ellen has a meltdown. At the house, Mama is cleaning like a mad woman. Fran tries to calm her down. She goes on about the bag and Mama gives it to her. Ellen comes in and the two get into a fight. Ellen realizes that Mama is jealous. They make up. Ellen rushes off to go be with Glenn.

Mama’s Family S02, Ep06 – Obscene Call

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 6
Title: Obscene Call
Original Air Date: November 10, 1983


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Favorite Quotes:

* Mama: You trust a total stranger and you won’t even tell your mother in law the price of the toilet paper.

* Mama: May I suggest you start getting friendly with my groceries.

* Naomi: Would it kill you to show me a little kindness one time?
Mama: Missy, you used up your one time they day I let you in the door.

* Vint: An obscene phone call. How do you know?
Naomi: Trust me.

* Mama: I don’t allow no weirdos on the phone unless its family.

* Mama: We’re not gonna let some pervert cut us off from the outside world.

* Naomi: Recognize his voice? I don’t even recognize half the words he uses.

* Mama: Good Lord, if that blouse was any lower it would be a skirt.

* Naomi: That’s just the way I move.
Mama: Well, it’s the way most people Rumba.


Synopsis: Naomi is checking groceries at the Food Circus. Mam is waiting in her line and getting annoyed. Naomi keeps helping everyone else except Mama. Back at the house, Fran is reading the paper. Vint and Naomi come in and announce Naomi won the friendliest checker award. The whole family celebrates. The phone starts ringing and finally Naomi answers it. However, the person on the other end says some very obscene things to her. She hangs up, but it rings again. Everyone keeps asking what the caller said. Naomi tells a clean version of it and everyone is horrified. The phone rings again and they all stare at it. Vint answers it but the person asks for Naomi and then he hands her the phone. It’s the obscene caller again. Mama decides that she’s gonna deal with the pervert herself. However, the next call that comes in is actually Naomi’s boss. After he calls the obscene caller is back. Mama calls the police and gets told to change her phone number. Mama turns on Naomi and blames the harassment on her. Fran gangs up on her too. Naomi turns to Vint for support, but he doesn’t provide any. Naomi blows up and stops talking to the whole family. The next day, Vint is sleeping on the couch. While she tries to cheer up Vint the phone rings. The caller asks for Naomi and when Thelma tells her she not there he gets obscene with Thelma, Fran and Vint. Now they have some sympathy for Naomi. Mama says they all need to apologize to Fran and they all head for the Food Circus. Naomi is not interested in talking to them. She freaks out on several customers. The three pick out an item each to buy. They attempt to apologize while making their purchases. She finally accepts their apologies. They all head back home and the phone is ringing as they enter. Thelma answers it and gives him a taste of his own medicine.

Mama’s Family S02, Ep04 – Naomi and the Stork

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 4
Title: Naomi and the Stork
Original Air Date: February 4, 1984


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Favorite Quotes:

* Naomi: I don’t know what is wrong with me.
Mama: You want a list?

* Mama: You should have thought of that before you started playing rumpus room roulette.

* Mama: Well, I bet the neighbors are going to love listening to this for nine months.

* Mama: You’re no fun, you’re already potty trained.

* Mama: Lord, even rabbits take a meal break.

* Mama: Don’t worry Frannie, if practice makes perfect I got my money on them.


Synopsis: Mama is cleaning the kitchen as Naomi comes up from the basement. Mama listens to Naomi complain about how she is feeling. She suddenly freaks out. Mama makes Naomi follow a tator masher with her eyes but it makes her feel sick. She announces that Naomi is pregnant. Naomi freaks out. Mama insists on Naomi using the same doctor she did, but when she calls she finds out he’s passed away. Naomi does not want Mama to tell Vinton. At dinner Fran tells everyone the newest gossip. Vint tells them they’ll only have to live there five more years and Naomi explodes into tears and runs downstairs. Mama tells Fran and the kids that Naomi is pregnant. Fran has a meltdown. Then she gets mad at Vinton and spills the beans. Thelma sends him downstairs to chat with Naomi. Downstairs, Naomi waxes philosophical. Then she breaks the news to Vinton. She thought he would flip out but instead he’s thrilled beyond belief. Suddenly, Naomi doesn’t want a baby in the basement. Now Vinton has to talk to Mama and try to move upstairs. The two discuss it in a family meeting. A fight breaks out. Mama shows up at Naomi’s doctor’s appointment. Naomi is shocked to see her there. Vinton shows up too. Sonia and Buzz come into the office too. They’ve also worked out a way for them to have an actual room. Then Fran shows up too, surprising everyone. Fran and the kids start fighting about who’s room the baby will sleep. The doctor calls Naomi with the test results. Back at the house everyone is quite subdued. She’s not actually pregnant, it was a false pregnancy. Naomi thanks everyone for making her feel like she was truly a part of the family because they all showed up at the doctor’s office.

Mama’s Family S02, Ep02 – The Return of Leonard Oates

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 2
Title: The Return of Leonard Oates
Original Air Date: October 13, 1983


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Favorite Quotes:

* Mama: Well good Lord, why don’t you two take it to the frozen food section and cool it off.

* Mama: This rag isn’t fit to wrap fish in.

* Mama: Liz Taylor. Says she might tie the knot again. Nice to see somebody’s been married more times than Naomi.

* Naomi: Where’d you get that outfit? You rob a bank or something?

* Mama: Well I should have known better than to trust my head to a beauty school dropout.
Naomi: For your information I was top of my class in permanent wave.

* Mama: I have watch the Days of our Lives long enough to know that ex-husbands don’t show up at the door unless they’re after something.

* Mama: Where’d you get that jacket? Was Sitting Bull having a garage sale?

* Naomi: Oh Fran, have you ever met a man who swept you off your feet and made you go so weak in the knees that you could no longer tell right from wrong?
Fran: I need some coffee.

* Fran: But Naomi what could Lenard possibly offer you other than indulgences of the flesh.
Naomi: Two and one half million dollars.
Fran: I see your dilemma.

* Naomi: I’m afraid I might have left the solution on a little long.
Mama: A little long? You’ve turned me into a Q-Tip.

* Naomi: There’s no such thing as a free lunch. Honey, are you so blind that you cannot see what that man is trying to do?

* Mama: Naomi you could be rolling my hair while you spill your guts.

* Mama: Naomi would you get your fingers out of his hair and back into mine?

* Naomi: Thank you Ms— Mama!!
Mama: Oh good Lord.


Synopsis: Naomi is at her check stand at the market. Vint sneaks up on her and they start making out over her register. Thelma tries to use Naomi’s express lane to check out. They get into a scuffle because Thelma is well over item limit. Thelma reminds Naomi about her perm tonight for her reunion. Naomi winds up paying for the groceries. After they leave a man walks up with flowers and candy. It’s Naomi’s ex-husband Leonard Oates. He tells her he is worth half a million dollars now. He started a mail order bait business. And now he wants Naomi back. She informs him that she is married again. She tells him no. But he refuses to leave until he gets her back. She looks like she is going to cry. Back at the house Thelma’s perm is not going well. There is a problem with the plumbing and there is no water to wash the solution out with. Sonja comes in looking for water. She whacks the sink with the monkey wrench and it starts working. The doorbell rings and its Leonard Oates at the door. Naomi introduces everyone. Thelma cuts to the chase with him. He’s brought a video game system. Leonard wants her to annul her wedding to Vint. He makes a move on her. He leaves and Thelma yells about her perm. The next morning Naomi is in the kitchen driving coffee. She tries to confide in Fran but she warns her that she can’t keep a secret. Naomi tells Fran that Leonard wants her back and she doesn’t know what to do. At that moment Thelma bursts into the kitchen livid, her hair looks like a frizzy poodle. Vint comes up from the basement. He is shocked by Thelma’s hair. Vint does not help her make up her mind. Thelma comes back in. Fran spills about Naomi going to the Bigger Jigger. Fran races there to try and save the day. Vint is taking Thelma to the Jigger. The two arrive. They start having a dust up. Naomi starts setting her hair with beer. She informs him she isn’t going to run away with him. Naomi tells Vint that she is staying because he wasn’t jealous or suspicious. He trusted Naomi. Fran gets all teary at Naomi’s speech. Leonard puts down the whole family as he leaves, but Thelma sticks up for her. Everyone heads back to the house and plays the video game.

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