Show: Mama’s Family
Title: Harper versus Harper
Original Air Date: March 10, 1984
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* Thelma: Who are you to be telling the kids they can go off on a toot?
* Thelma: I been vacuuming my whole life. It’s like asking a skunk if he knows how to stink.
* Naomi: Honey, it is burnt to a crisp.
Thelma: So is my rug!
* Judge: This is my courtroom, right?
Synopsis: Naomi is making breakfast. It’s spring cleaning day and Naomi tells them they can go to a carnival instead of doing spring cleaning. Thelma comes in and is furious about the mess Naomi made in her kitchen. She tells Vint her vacuum cleaner has died. Vint volunteers the one he gave Naomi as a wedding present. The kids head out to the carnival and Thelma gets mad. They don’t get to go. Vint brings the vacuum into the living room. Naomi is furious at Vint. Fran comes down and points out the vacuum is making a weird noise. Everyone agrees but she keeps vacuuming. It actually catches on fire and there’s quite a bit of smoke. Vint burns himself trying to pull out what jammed. Vint succeeds and it’s Naomi’s keys. They blow up and decide to sue each other for damages. It’s now their day in court. They start arguing before the judge even walks in the room. The judge attempts to get control but it is Thelma and Naomi. Before they even start to try the case, Thelma is called to the bench. Opening statements are quite dramatic. Testimony finally begins and Thelma asks Sonia to recreate the sound the vacuum made. Fran suddenly has a slight melt down and asks to approach the bench. She confesses to the judge that she took the tag off the rug. He tells her to put it back on and he’ll forget about it. Now it’s Naomi’s turn. She calls Vint. A huge fight breaks out and the judge looks worse for the wear. The fight escalates to explosive levels. The judge holds them in contempt and fines them. He orders each to pay their own damages and dismisses the case. Back at the house, the two start fighting again. Vint decides to stand up to both of them and tell them off.