Show: Mama’s Family
Title: Mama Learns to Drive
Original Air Date: January 7, 1984
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* Mama: That wife of yours is dead meat!
* Mama: If the good Lord intended me to drive he’d have given me bigger bumpers.
* Mama: Hold on to your tatas Frannie, here we go.
* Ellen: I would thank you not to refer to my mother as an old dog just because tricks don’t come as easily to her as they do to you.
* Mama: I’m gonna die trying to do this, but at least they’ll have a pretty new hat to bury me in.
Synopsis: Vint complains about the bus strike going on for three days. Ellen comes in the kitchen looking for Thelma. She’s left for the mall with Naomi. Minutes later Mama bursts in yelling. Naomi follows and the two begin fighting. Fran stops the fight. Mama still wants her hat so she tries to get everyone to take her to the mall. Everyone tells Mama that she needs to learn to drive herself around. Vint decides to teach her. He gives her a lecture on keys. The next morning, Mama is making cookies when Buzz and Sonya come in to help her study for her driver’s test. She gets mad and storms off. That afternoon Fran tiptoes out of the kitchen with car keys. Thelma wants to go with her to the mall but she holds firm on not taking her. Fran relents but makes Thelma drive. She doesn’t want to so Fran threatens to go to the mall and buy the hat Thelma wants for herself. They have a fight. She finally gets the car moving but the windshield wipers go off. She pulls away from the curb and nearly crashes into an oncoming car. In frustration she gets out of the car and walks off. Back at the house she tells the harrowing story. Naomi and Ellen get into it. Ellen decides to teach her how to drive. Upon returning Ellen is pissed. She has crashed Ellen’s car. They get in a fight and Ellen storms out. Meanwhile, the phone rings. It’s Neidermeyers, someone else wants the hat that Thelma has on hold. She has to pick it up by noon. Thelma decides to take Fran’s car and drive to the mall to get her hat. She says a prayer. She is at DMV to get her license. It’s taking all day long. She finally gets her picture taken. She and the DMV employee get into a fight and she threatens him. At the house, everyone is freaking out. Mama walks in the door and everyone rushes her. Mama tells them she got her driver’s license.