Show: Mama’s Family
Title: The Return of Leonard Oates
Original Air Date: October 13, 1983
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* Mama: Well good Lord, why don’t you two take it to the frozen food section and cool it off.
* Mama: This rag isn’t fit to wrap fish in.
* Mama: Liz Taylor. Says she might tie the knot again. Nice to see somebody’s been married more times than Naomi.
* Naomi: Where’d you get that outfit? You rob a bank or something?
* Mama: Well I should have known better than to trust my head to a beauty school dropout.
Naomi: For your information I was top of my class in permanent wave.
* Mama: I have watch the Days of our Lives long enough to know that ex-husbands don’t show up at the door unless they’re after something.
* Mama: Where’d you get that jacket? Was Sitting Bull having a garage sale?
* Naomi: Oh Fran, have you ever met a man who swept you off your feet and made you go so weak in the knees that you could no longer tell right from wrong?
Fran: I need some coffee.
* Fran: But Naomi what could Lenard possibly offer you other than indulgences of the flesh.
Naomi: Two and one half million dollars.
Fran: I see your dilemma.
* Naomi: I’m afraid I might have left the solution on a little long.
Mama: A little long? You’ve turned me into a Q-Tip.
* Naomi: There’s no such thing as a free lunch. Honey, are you so blind that you cannot see what that man is trying to do?
* Mama: Naomi you could be rolling my hair while you spill your guts.
* Mama: Naomi would you get your fingers out of his hair and back into mine?
* Naomi: Thank you Ms— Mama!!
Mama: Oh good Lord.
Synopsis: Naomi is at her check stand at the market. Vint sneaks up on her and they start making out over her register. Thelma tries to use Naomi’s express lane to check out. They get into a scuffle because Thelma is well over item limit. Thelma reminds Naomi about her perm tonight for her reunion. Naomi winds up paying for the groceries. After they leave a man walks up with flowers and candy. It’s Naomi’s ex-husband Leonard Oates. He tells her he is worth half a million dollars now. He started a mail order bait business. And now he wants Naomi back. She informs him that she is married again. She tells him no. But he refuses to leave until he gets her back. She looks like she is going to cry. Back at the house Thelma’s perm is not going well. There is a problem with the plumbing and there is no water to wash the solution out with. Sonja comes in looking for water. She whacks the sink with the monkey wrench and it starts working. The doorbell rings and its Leonard Oates at the door. Naomi introduces everyone. Thelma cuts to the chase with him. He’s brought a video game system. Leonard wants her to annul her wedding to Vint. He makes a move on her. He leaves and Thelma yells about her perm. The next morning Naomi is in the kitchen driving coffee. She tries to confide in Fran but she warns her that she can’t keep a secret. Naomi tells Fran that Leonard wants her back and she doesn’t know what to do. At that moment Thelma bursts into the kitchen livid, her hair looks like a frizzy poodle. Vint comes up from the basement. He is shocked by Thelma’s hair. Vint does not help her make up her mind. Thelma comes back in. Fran spills about Naomi going to the Bigger Jigger. Fran races there to try and save the day. Vint is taking Thelma to the Jigger. The two arrive. They start having a dust up. Naomi starts setting her hair with beer. She informs him she isn’t going to run away with him. Naomi tells Vint that she is staying because he wasn’t jealous or suspicious. He trusted Naomi. Fran gets all teary at Naomi’s speech. Leonard puts down the whole family as he leaves, but Thelma sticks up for her. Everyone heads back to the house and plays the video game.