The Golden Girls S02, Ep01 – The End of the Curse

Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 2
Episode: 1
Title: The End of the Curse
Original Air Date: September 27, 1986

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iTunes The Golden Girls, Season 2 – The Golden Girls

Favorite Quotes:

* Rose: Do they have to be killed?
Sophia: No Rose, many women like wearing coats that urinate.

* Rose: Nothing is so terrible that you can’t tell us. We’re your friends, we’ll understand.
Blanche: I’m pregnant.
[Rose faints]

*Sophia: What shocking news?
Rose: Blanche is pregnant.
Sophia: Holy cow.

* Dorothy: Nine weeks late and you just realized something is wrong?

* Rose: I never grew a beard.
Sophia: You never grew brains either.

* Rose: I live in Florida. Who can tell the difference between a hot flash and a weather front?

* Dorothy: She could be in a coma. Put a man within 5 miles, she’d roll over and shave her legs.

* Blanche: They eat their weight in food every day?
Dorothy: When I’m depressed so do I.

Synopsis: The girls are in the garage. They’ve purchased minks to breed for fur. Blanche has been depressed and is in her room. She finally comes out but gets hysterical again. She tells them she is pregnant and Rose faints from shock. Sophia comes out and learns about the news too and she is quite surprised. When she gets out her book and lists the names of the possible father’s it’s a long list. Meanwhile, the minks aren’t doing anything. Blanche finally goes to the doctor. She’s not pregnant, it’s menopause. Blanche doesn’t want to engage with the world, so the girls make her see a psychiatrist. He cheers her up because he asks her out on a date. At the house, she’s depressed again. She thinks she’s not a woman anymore. The girls try to cheer her up. Everyone talks about how they first got their periods. Sophia tells a bald face lie about an older woman getting pregnant. A vet checks out the minks and says they are too old to breed. Blanche makes a pass at him. Blanche comes back from her date and she is quite happy. Dorothy wants to get rid of them but Rose wants to save them. However, Blanche decides to keep them.


Mama’s Family S02, Ep12 – Black Belt Mama

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 12
Title: Black Belt Mama
Original Air Date: January 14, 1984

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iTunes not available at this time

Favorite Quotes:

* Vint: How can I ruin something that doesn’t work?

* Mama: I know that Naomi is interested in it so it has to be something that appeals to a bird brain.

* Mama: I’m shaking worse than a wino in prohibition.

* Mama: Well what is this? Get Mama night? You gonna tell me it’s my fault I was robbed?

* Naomi: Chuck says we’re supposed to move like a well oiled machine.
Mama: Well the oil drained out of my crank case years ago.

* Naomi: Let’s say you want to attack me.
Mama: This is getting better all the time.

* Mama: All right Chuck, go ahead and make my day.

* Sonja: You’re a hero grandma.
Mama: I just wish they didn’t have to print a heroes age.

Synopsis: Vint is trying to fix the iron and he fails. They discuss Naomi and the self defense class that she is taking. She arrives home and gives them a karate demonstration. They discuss the muggings that have been going on around town. Mama is not impressed with the whole thing. Vint keeps trying to fix the iron and winds up shorting out the electricity. Later in the kitchen, Vint is feeding Buzz. Mama comes in the door looking like she’s been attacked. She’s holding her purse handle, but the purse is gone. She’s so upset she can’t speak. She finally calms down and then tells them about her mugging. Buzz wants her to call the police and report the crime. She tells him to and he does. He gets her to give the police a description. Naomi is at her karate class, with Sonja and Fran. Mama shows up and nearly gets punched. They all start discussing what went wrong and why Mama was mugged. Mama is going to learn karate. But first she has to stretch. She gets stuck and Chuck has to roll her backwards. Mama is not stretchy. Chuck demonstrates some moves he’s going to try and teach them. Everyone gets up to practice except Mama. Chuck pairs her with his star pupil, Naomi. It goes downhill fast. Chuck does a demonstration with Sonja. It fails so he asks Naomi to assist him. She actually performs quite well. Now chuck tries with Mama and she headbutts him. It’s another day and Mama heads to the bus stop. She and another older lady commiserate over the changing times. Mama traumatizes a few passerbys. The mugger comes back. She does her karate demonstration and then tricks him. She disables him by whacking him in the head with her bag, it’s got her new iron in it. Mama makes the paper. She acts humble until Buzz walks in with a huge stacks of newspapers.

The Golden Girls S01, Ep25 – The Way We Met

Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 1
Episode: 25
Title: The Way We Met
Original Air Date: May 10, 1986

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Amazon The Golden Girls: Season 1

iTunes The Golden Girls, Season 1 – The Golden Girls

Favorite Quotes:

* Blanche: I never should have watched it. Why, that shower scene is the reason I never shower alone.
Dorothy: And Goldilocks and the three bears is why you prefer not to sleep alone?

* Rose: Why would you name a room Blanche Deveraux?
Blanche: I like a roommate with a sense of humor.

* Madame Zelda: Move in this house and you’ll die an agonizing death.

* Sophia: The woman has slut embroidered on her underwear.

* Blanche: When a beam of moonlight hit my cleavage, suddenly the band began to play. It was at that moment I realized my bosoms had the power to make music.

* Grocer: Those are very nice cantaloupes.
Blanche: Why, thank you.

* Dorothy: Rose why don’t you save it for The Price is Right?

* Dorothy: Until I met you I didn’t know people actually talked back to their rice crispies.

* Blanche: I know I’ve been having a very good time and there isn’t even a man in the room.

* Dorothy: Oh, I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Synopsis: Rose enters the kitchen in the middle of the night with the lights off. Dorothy comes in after turning on the lights scaring her. Rose thought she heard something. Blanche comes in with a golf club. Watching Psycho was too much for them. The three sit around the table. They scare away their fright with a cheesecake. We get a flash back of Rose and Blanche meeting. Blanche is putting up an advertisement on a local board in a grocery store and Rose walks up carrying a cat. She was thrown out of her apartment because of the cat she has. Blanche decides against Rose as a roommate and leaves. A little boy comes up to Rose and she gives him the cat. Blanche witnesses it and then decides to show her the room. Blanche then shares some memories of other prospective roommates, including Madame Zelda, a deranged psychic. Dorothy drops by with Sophia. The meeting is a little rocky. Dorothy then tells about her first meeting with Rose on move in day. There is some confusion about who gets what room. Rose helps bring in Dorothy’s things and accidentally breaks a vase that Blanche has. They go out to dinner after that. Back in the kitchen its now 2am. Blanche tells one of her many stories of romance. Then they recall their first grocery shopping trip and how it didn’t go well. While checking out, Rose keeps correcting the checker on incorrect prices. They all get in a big fight. When they get back to the house they all storm around. Another argument takes place over how to store cereal. Dorothy doesn’t think they’re going to be successful as roommates. Rose proceeds to tell a St. Olaf story. By the end of her story they are hysterical. Rose puts a cheesecake in the fridge and everyone is happy. As they sit around the table, they eat another cheesecake. Sophia comes in the kitchen, screaming with a knife in her hand. She scares them a lot and so they stay up later.

Mama’s Family S02, Ep11 – Mama Learns to Drive

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 11
Title: Mama Learns to Drive
Original Air Date: January 7, 1984

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iTunes not available at this time

Favorite Quotes:

* Mama: That wife of yours is dead meat!

* Mama: If the good Lord intended me to drive he’d have given me bigger bumpers.

* Mama: Hold on to your tatas Frannie, here we go.

* Ellen: I would thank you not to refer to my mother as an old dog just because tricks don’t come as easily to her as they do to you.

* Mama: I’m gonna die trying to do this, but at least they’ll have a pretty new hat to bury me in.

Synopsis: Vint complains about the bus strike going on for three days. Ellen comes in the kitchen looking for Thelma. She’s left for the mall with Naomi. Minutes later Mama bursts in yelling. Naomi follows and the two begin fighting. Fran stops the fight. Mama still wants her hat so she tries to get everyone to take her to the mall. Everyone tells Mama that she needs to learn to drive herself around. Vint decides to teach her. He gives her a lecture on keys. The next morning, Mama is making cookies when Buzz and Sonya come in to help her study for her driver’s test. She gets mad and storms off. That afternoon Fran tiptoes out of the kitchen with car keys. Thelma wants to go with her to the mall but she holds firm on not taking her. Fran relents but makes Thelma drive. She doesn’t want to so Fran threatens to go to the mall and buy the hat Thelma wants for herself. They have a fight. She finally gets the car moving but the windshield wipers go off. She pulls away from the curb and nearly crashes into an oncoming car. In frustration she gets out of the car and walks off. Back at the house she tells the harrowing story. Naomi and Ellen get into it. Ellen decides to teach her how to drive. Upon returning Ellen is pissed. She has crashed Ellen’s car. They get in a fight and Ellen storms out. Meanwhile, the phone rings. It’s Neidermeyers, someone else wants the hat that Thelma has on hold. She has to pick it up by noon. Thelma decides to take Fran’s car and drive to the mall to get her hat. She says a prayer. She is at DMV to get her license. It’s taking all day long. She finally gets her picture taken. She and the DMV employee get into a fight and she threatens him. At the house, everyone is freaking out. Mama walks in the door and everyone rushes her. Mama tells them she got her driver’s license.

The Golden Girls S01, Ep24 – Big Daddy

Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 1
Episode: 24
Title: Big Daddy
Original Air Date: May 3, 1986

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iTunes The Golden Girls, Season 1 – The Golden Girls

Favorite Quotes:

* Dorothy: I can’t believe I know anyone who calls her father Big Daddy.

* Sophia: You need boots to listen to this guy.

* Rose: This is so much fun it’s like being in Gone With The Wind.

* Blanche: I’m sure there’s a perfectly logical explanation for why my daddy’s lost the stuffing out of his comforter.

Synopsis: Sophia asks Dorothy to taste something that’s expired. She tells Dorothy that Rose tried to get in her room last night. As they go back in the living room, Rose tries to explain and Sophia cuts her off. Blanche rushes in and tells everyone that her father is coming to visit. After going off into several stories, Dorothy cuts her off. Blanche leaves and Rose heads out to the lanai. Rose screams when she finds a tree downed in the lanai. Her neighbor comes over and tries to deny it’s his tree. He insults Sophia and she curses him. The next day Dorothy arrives home with a property map showing their neighbor owns the tree. Blanche comes out wearing a dress like she did for her Sweet 16. She wants everyone to be on their best behavior. The doorbell rings and it’s their neighbor, he’s furious. He leaves and the doorbell rings again. Dorothy thinks it’s the neighbor but it’s actually Big Daddy. He lays it on thick with all of them. He takes his leave to take care of some things. Before he leaves he tells her he is singing tomorrow night. Blanche is concerned. Her father comes home late that night. He then performs for Blanche, but he’s horrible. She is horrified. He tells her that he’s doing this as a career and sold the family home. They have a big fight that brings everyone from their rooms. Her father storms off. The three discuss what’s happened. They go in the kitchen and share some memories. The next evening they get ready to go to Big Daddy’s show as the neighbor storms over. He’s giving up. His wife stays behind and tells them she did everything to him. They three arrive at Big Daddy’s show but they learn that his show has been cancelled. Blanche finds her father back stage and talks to him. He tells her the story of how he met her mother. They make up and hug.

Mama’s Family S02, Ep10 – The Mama Who Came To Dinner

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 10
Title: The Mama Who Came to Dinner
Original Air Date: December 22, 1983

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iTunes not available at this time

Favorite Quotes:

* Naomi: I am not jealous. And I will thank you to keep your nose out of my nose.

* Thelma: Didn’t you two get enough of the usual last night?

* Thelma: Well don’t just stand there, your company is here. Open the door and let the good times roll.

* Thelma: Why should your fun be ruined by my agony?

* Thelma: What I get is that you’re making fun of someone in pain.

* Naomi: Let me cut it in half for you, Ms. Harper. I certainly wouldn’t want you to choke.

Synopsis: Fran and Thelma are at the table working on her stamps. She wants a very nice heating pad. Vint and Naomi return home from their dinner party. Naomi is not happy about it. Fran suggests they have one there and Thelma cook for it. No one agrees on any of it. After some fighting and egging on, Thelma agrees to let them have a dinner party at her house. It’s now the day of the dinner party and Naomi is grating on Thelma’s nerves. Vint’s kids aren’t excited about going to the movies with Thelma. But as she is getting ready to leave she bends over to pick up some magazines and has a back spasm. She’s now laid out flat on the floor on her back. Fran and the kids leave her there and go to the movies. Naomi’s guests see Thelma and are surprised. She ruins the appetizers. She starts telling depressing stories about people who have died and other creepy medical stories. They wind up feeding her and the evening goes downhill even faster. Thelma then starts telling stories about the things Naomi has said behind everyone’s back. All the guests leave after a little over an hour. Vint is beyond furious. Naomi is acting as if nothing was wrong. She grabs the tablecloth and then puts the tv trays over Thelma and throws the tablecloth over it. She even turns out the lights and exits the room. Thelma keeps calling for Naomi as all the beer she drank is starting to get to her. She starts screaming for help.

The Golden Girls S01, Ep23 – Blind Ambitions

Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 1
Episode: 23
Title: Blind Ambitions
Original Air Date: March 29, 1986

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Amazon The Golden Girls: Season 1

iTunes The Golden Girls, Season 1 – The Golden Girls

Favorite Quotes:

* Sophia: Do you know what they call cooking meat over an open fire in Sicely?
Dorothy: No, what?
Sophia: Poverty.

* Blanche: The point is guilt is a very bad thing. Story over.

* Sophia: I only have one question: now that I’m better why do you still scream and holler at me?

* Sophia: You want to help your sister? Help her to help herself.

* Blanche: The King is gone Dorothy but we must cherish the things he left behind: his movies, his songs..
Dorothy: And his seasonings.

* Dorothy: What’s the use of having a garage sale if we can’t part with anything?

* Dorothy: Come on now, get out of here. You’ve come back more times than Shirley MacLaine.

Synopsis: The girls are having a barbeque on the lanai. Rose’s sister Lily is visiting them. Blanche tells a story about barbeques when she was younger. Rose and Lily share a camping story. They talk about tv shows and garage sales. They all decide to have a garage sale to raise the money for a new television. Later that night, they are going through stuff in the living room. Everything is everywhere. Lily decides to put some candlesticks on a table and all the girls have to rush to move everything out of her way when she heads to her room for a sweater. The next day in the kitchen, Lily is making bacon and it catches on fire. She screams for help and everyone comes rushing. Rose puts out the fire. The girls discuss Lily’s situation. Rose finds Lily in her room holding a dress. Rose tries to convince her to get help. Lily shows her the dress and tells her it’s her favorite because it’s the only one she can clearly remember. Lily asks Rose to come and live with her. Later, the girls are in the kitchen. They try to dissuade her from moving to Chicago. Blanche tells a story about working in a factory. We learn of another of her boyfriends. Sophia joins them and tells Rose moving in with Lily is a bad idea. Sophia tells them that Dorothy forced her to rebuild her life because she knew she could. Rose is still on the fence. Sophia tells her to help her sister help herself. It’s the day of the garage sale. Everyone is trying to haggle down prices and Sophia is not having it. Nothing is selling, they can’t part with the memories attached to the items. They decide to call off the garage sale. Dorothy comes up with an idea. They put a down payment on a new tv and pay the rest off on time. Lily comes out and asks Rose to help her to the couch. But she starts asking Rose to do everything for her. Rose takes a stand and tells her that she needs professional help to get on with her life. She won’t go back to Chicago with her. Lily storms off upset. Two months later, Rose heads to Chicago to visit her sister. She keeps leaving and coming back. She finally leaves. Rose lands and gets directions for the baggage claim. Lily surprised her by meeting her at the airport. She now has a service dog. She apologizes to Rose for her behavior. Lily wanted Rose to see that she was right.

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