TV Show: The Golden Girls
Title: How Do You Solve a Problem Like Sophia?
Season 6 episode 8
Original Air Date: November 10, 1990
Favorite Quotes:
+Rose: You didn’t ask if you could borrow my car.Blanche: Well, I guess we both learned a lesson about leaving keys on the table.
+Rose: Blanche, I am furious. First you take my car without asking. Then, when you have it, you show complete disregard for my personal property.
Blanche: Rose, please have a little compassion. I was just in an accident.
+Dorothy: Rose… Do we have to do this now? A nun has died. More than a nun. Sister Agnes was my mother’s best friend. Oh, she’s out there alone now. She hasn’t said a word since we left the cemetery. I have no idea how she’s going to react to this.
Sophia: I’ve made a decision. I’m gonna become a nun.
+Blanche: God spoke to you? You haven’t been eating chili dogs again, have you?
Sophia: That was an honest mistake. And to clarify, that’s when I thought God was whistling to me. This was him talking.
+Dorothy: Blanche, Rose may be taken to court for something that you did. Don’t you even care?
+Dorothy: You’ll have to excuse my mother. She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago which rendered her totally annoying.
+Sister Claire: We have very strict guidelines when selecting postulants, so we’re going to put Sophia through a battery of psychological tests. It helps weed out the crazies and undesirables.
Dorothy: Sorry, Ma.
+Blanche: All we’d need is a devastatingly beautiful woman with a flair for seduction.
Roes: How about Mrs. Hufstad down the street? I mean, she’s something of a dog, but she’ll do it with anybody.
Blanche: I was talkin’ about me.
Rose: Oh, yeah. You will, too.
+Rose: But do you really think you can get him to remove the neck brace?
Blanche: Oh, please. I once got a man to crawl out of a full body cast.
+Sophia: Rose, just remember, you’re smarter than people say you are. You’ve got common sense and you know what you’re doing.
Rose: Oh, Sophia.
Sophia: Blanche, you’re a slut.
Blanche: Oh, Sophia.
+Blanche: You know what I’m gonna miss most about Sophia? The way she used to tease me. The way she would ever-so-subtly jab me with names like “tramp”…
Dorothy: “Floozy.” “Trollop,” “harlot.” “Magic carpet ride.” “The human luge.” But she was never cuter than when she simply called you “shore leave.” Oh, God, I miss that woman.
+Sophia: What a lovely surprise. Welcome to our little convent. Not even a Bundt cake, huh?
+Mother Superior: It’s my feeling that life here is too structured for her.
Dorothy: I’m afraid I don’t follow you.
Mother Superior: She is a stubborn, old, vindictive pack mule of a woman who won’t follow the rules.
Dorothy: OK, I’m back with you.
+Dorothy: The point is, you don’t have to be in a convent to make your life meaningful.
I mean, Sister Agnes belonged here, but you don’t.
Sophia: So who’s gonna take Sister Agnes’ place?
Dorothy: Nobody can take her place. Just like nobody can take your place.
Summary:
Blanche comes home shaken. She was just in a car accident. But she was driving Roses’ car. Blanche was running her usual scam to meet rich men by “gently rear-ending expensive cars at red lights.” This time she was aiming for a Jag but got cut off by a Duster. Rose is furious. Dorothy and Sophia return from a funeral. Sophia is not doing so well at this person’s death. Rose finally sees her car and is even more upset at the damage. Dorothy asks for some help with her mother dealing with this loss. Sophia finally comes in and announces she is going to be a nun. God spoke to her at the funeral. Apparently, Sophia had a dream of becoming a nun in her younger years, until she got a boyfriend. Another day and Rose gets a call from her insurance company. The guy that Blanch rear ended is suing. Rose is the one being sued because it’s her car. Blanche poo poos his injury stating he’s not injured, it’s just a ruse. The doorbell rings and its Sister Claire. She is going to interview Sophia about joining the convent. She has a series of psychological tests for Sophia. She starts with the ink blots. Dorothy and Sophia get into a disagreement about Sophia joining a convent. But Sophia is actually serious. Rose gets a call from her insurance company. They’ve cut her off because of the lawsuit. Blanche decides to seduce the guy to prove he’s faking. It’s now the day that Sophia is joining the convent. The nuns arrive to pick her up and honk. Sophia says her goodbyes to everyone. That afternoon, Blanche has the man and she is doing her best to work her magic. She almost gets to him but then her remembers the lawsuit and runs off. Dorothy receives a postcard from Sophia. She signs it “Sisters Ma.” At the convent, Sophia is teaching the sisters to play cards. Later that day, Dorothy, Blanche and Sophia go to visit Sophia at the convent. Sophia introduces everyone to the Mother Superior. She asks Dorothy for a private word. The Mother Superior tells Dorothy she is going to ask Sophia to leave the convent. Dorothy asks if she can tell her instead. Dorothy goes to Sophia’s room and breaks the news to her. Sophia wants her life to be meaningful. Dorothy lists all the things she does to help others. Sister Agnes cannot be replaced. They arrive at home as Blanche and Dorothy chase the man suing Rose out of the house and down the street.
Categories: The Golden Girls, TV Shows