The Golden Girls S01, Ep18 – The Operation

Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 1
Episode: 18
Title: The Operation
Original Air Date: February 8, 1986

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Favorite Quotes:

* Sophia: You drink out of a paper bag in the park and suddenly everybody is your friend.

* Sophia: I won’t dance, don’t ask me.

* Sophia: A mother knows when her child is lying, it’s like bat radar.

* Dorothy: You win, you always win but you don’t play fair.
Sophia: That’s why I always win.

* Dorothy: Rose, do a big ugly man with a limp a favor and shut up.

* Dorothy: You’re not serious.
Sophia: No, I’m just acting as stupid as you are.

* Dorothy: More men have seen my bottom today than in my entire life.

* Blanche: I think I caught what Dorothy has. My foot hurts.

* Rose: If you end up in a puddle tonight you better break into Singing In The Rain.

Synopsis: Blanche and Rose bring Dorothy home, limping. She has injured herself tap dancing. Dorothy brushes it off as no big deal. They head into the kitchen for a snack. Dorothy’s foot continues to cause her pain. Blanche tells her to do a Cincinnati Time step and when she does she exclaims in pain. The next day Blanche and Rose practice while Dorothy is at the doctor. When she comes home she lies and tells them she is fine. Sophia tells her she is lying and forces her to tell the truth. She has a small tumor in her foot that needs to be removed. It can be removed, but she does not want to do it. She has a panic attack. Sophia guilts her into having surgery. Dorothy checks in to the hospital the night before the surgery but the girls don’t calm her fears and she tries to leave. After the girls leave a doctor comes in and tells her that he will be doing her surgery because the scheduled doctor is going to be in court. Later that evening a Priest arrives. He starts giving Dorothy her last rites. He’s in the wrong room and doesn’t help her fears. Back at the house Blanche is getting ready to go out. She sees Dorothy walk by. Rose runs in telling Blanche to call the police. They try to get her to go back to the hospital. Sophia comes in and Dorothy keeps trying to not go back. So she tells about being left alone at 5 years old in the hospital. She continues to say no, so Sophia tells her she will remove the tumor. Dorothy agrees to go back to the hospital. She has a roommate now who has to have surgery as well. After she tells Dorothy her story, Dorothy is singing a whole different tune. Back at the house, Rose is trying to get Blanche to go to the recital. Blanche tells Rose that she is afraid to perform in front of groups. She then tells her an embarrassing story from her childhood. Rose, however, is not taking it. She makes her go. Dorothy wakes up to find her mom asleep in the chair next to her. Blanche and Rose come to visit Dorothy. The two had to change up their act. They perform their routine for Dorothy and Sophia. She’s impressed but pissed. She puts her arm through Rose’s hat.

Hot in Cleveland S02, Ep08 – LeBron is Le Gone #HotinCleveland

Season: 2
Episode: 8
Title: LeBron is Le Gone
Original Air Date: March 9, 2011

Guest Stars:
Jon Lovitz: Opera Guy
Isaiah Mustafa: Kevin
Dan Bakkedahl: Jasper
Cyndi Martino: Patricia
Anthony Holiday: Ben

Synopsis: Melanie and Elka are at the bar. Melanie gets the game turned off for Oprah. Elka tells her to use her “powers” to get the guys to get them ice cream. A coach from the Cavaliers comes in and Melanie goes gaga over him. Elka tells her to use her powers to get him. They talk and later Joy comes in. She announces she’s engaged to homeless man “opera guy” so she can get her green card. Melanie and Elka are skeptical. Back at the house Elka is trying to teach Melanie basketball for her date with Coach Jason. During her date, Melanie follows Elka’s instructions and everything is fine while they are at the house. But…

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Hot in Cleveland S02, Ep07 – Dog Tricks, Sex Flicks and Joy’s Fix #HotinCleveland

Season: 2
Episode: 7
Title: Dog Tricks, Sex Flicks and Joy’s Fix
Original Air Date: March 2, 2011

Guest Stars:
John Ducey: Gordon
Arden Myrin: Jasmine Breeze
Bob Rumnock: Dr. Morgan

Synopsis: Elka brings home a dog from the shelter. Victoria announces she wants to make a sex tape…with Melanie. Joy meets a new man at the therapist. Melanie refuses to do the sex tape with Victoria so she hires a hooker. The hooker wants double for being a “porn star.” Joy steals her new boyfriends files from the therapists office. She steals hers a well.

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Hot in Cleveland S02, Ep06 – I Love Lucci, part 2 #HotinCleveland

Season: 2
Episode: 6
Title: I Love Lucci, part 2
Original Air Date: February 23, 2011

Guest Stars:
Susan Lucci: Susan Lucci
Michael E. Knight: Michael E. Knight
Charles Adler: Director
Carlease Burke: Nurse
Jim Hanna: Dennis the A.D.
Blaine Vedros: Corpse
Leslie Gilliam: Female Fairy

Synopsis: In part 2: Susan Lucci is in the hospital. She has the nurse trick Victoria into thinking she’s in a coma. The nurse also breaks the news to Joy that Alex is a character in the soap opera and not real life. Melanie and Elka sneak on set and play extras in the Robert Redford movie. Back on the set Victoria is asked to deliver her speech to a photo of Susan Lucci. Mid-scene Susan Lucci is back. The scene plays out with Susan giving the speech. And she uses Victoria’s lines from the hospital room. Joy goes to Michael Knight’s dressing room and tells him that she ran into his evil twin, Alex…

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The Golden Girls S01, Ep17 – Nice and Easy

Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 1
Episode: 17
Title: Nice and Easy
Original Air Date: February 1, 1986

Favorite Quotes:

* Blanche: All right, you all please, no more rat talk.

* Dorothy: At 30,000 feet, she picks up a doctor, now I see the resemblance.

* Dorothy: Rose, do you have any idea how weird you are?

* Dorothy: This is the second man she’s gone away with and she only got here yesterday.

* Blanche: Ed picking up Michael was doing his job. You picking up Ed is something we need to talk about.

* Dorothy: Rose are you telling a story or performing “Our Town?”

* Rose: This mouse is an odd duck.
Dorothy: Rose, how many head wounds have you had?

* Dorothy: Ed for a policeman you’ve led a very sheltered life.

* Dorothy: I don’t believe this, I’m talking to a mouse. The scary part is I think you’re listening.

* Rose: Don’t be silly, you couldn’t even kill a little mouse.

* Dorothy: We enjoyed having you.
Sophia: So did half of Miami.
Dorothy: Ma!!

Synopsis: Sophia is painting her nails in the living room. Blanche is upset because her niece, Lucy, is coming to visit. Dorothy comes out of the kitchen freaking out about a rat, but Rose says it’s a mouse. Blanche wants to call an exterminator, but Rose won’t let her. She tells a story about a pet mouse she had and how he saved her life. The doorbell rings and it’s Lucy. Lucy tells them she met a doctor on the plane. The next day Dorothy is upset because the mouse is still there. Rose tells her she will talk to the mouse. Blanche storms in upset that Lucy never came home. Lucy walks in the kitchen. She tells them the doctor took her on a midnight cruise. Out on the lanai Sophia and Dorothy are playing checkers. Lucy comes out and tells them she’s going out again. Dorothy assumes it’s the doctor again, but it’s someone from the college. Blanche comes out and checks on her. When Lucy tells her she’s going to the Bahamas, she’s upset but then lets her go. After she takes off Dorothy tells her she’s not going with the doctor. Blanche will try and talk to her when she gets back. Sophia tells a story. Blanche falls asleep on the couch waiting for Lucy to come home. Lucy has a third guy with her, Ed a policeman. Blanche tries to ground her but Lucy storms out. In the kitchen Blanche is upset. The girls try to comfort her. Rose tells a story about when she rebelled as a teen. Blanche then tells several stories about her teenage years. Blanche decides to go after Lucy. They all get up to leave and Dorothy screams about the mouse. Lucy is at her newest boyfriend’s apartment. There’s a knock at the door and its Blanche, Dorothy and Rose. Rose compliments Ed on his apartment while Blanche and Lucy talk in his room. They have quite the heart to heart. In the living room, Ed gives Rose a Miami Vice trivia quiz. Blanche and Lucy come out and everyone leaves. Back in the kitchen, we see the adorable little field mouse. Dorothy is trying to kill it with a broom but winds up having a conversation with it. Rose walks in and catches the conversation. Dorothy convinces the mouse to exit the way it came in. Rose is so excited that Dorothy can talk to animals and Dorothy tries to play it off. Blanche comes in and lets them know Lucy is about to leave. Everyone says goodbye. Rose wants to know what she told Lucy that night. Blanche gives them a short version.

Mama’s Family S02, Ep03 – Country Club

Show: Mama’s Family
Season: 2
Episode: 3
Title: Country Club
Original Air Date: October 20, 1983

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Favorite Quotes:

* Naomi: A bowling ball just can’t disappear.
Vint: It can when Mama puts it in a safe place.

* Naomi: Maybe you’re daddy ain’t dead and gone at all. Maybe your mama just put him in a safe place.

* Mama: When I do find that ball I’ll put it downstairs in the middle of your bed. It can sleep next to your other pin buster.

* Mama: You could look up disgusting in the dictionary and find a picture of this.

* Mama: Don’t you think you’d look a little silly bowling in a diamond broach?

* Ellen: Well Mama, a good prime rib is supposed to be served rare.
Mama: I know that, but mine left hoof prints in my mashed potatoes.

* Mama: Close your mouth, I’m getting an echo in here.

* Mama: Oh come on Vinton! What do you want? Some two bit comic or the Mama Rickles of Raytown?

Synopsis: Everyone is searching the house looking for Vint’s bowling ball. Vint has a meltdown. Then Naomi questions Mama as to where she’s been. Ellen comes in as happy as can be. Ellen tells them she has been chosen as Woman of the Year by the Raytown Country Club. Ellen gets upset because no one is happy for her. Vint goes back to throwing a fit over his bowling ball. Ellen starts kissing up to Mama. She wants to borrow a diamond broach. Mama lets her. Later that day Naomi comes home to find Vinton laying on the couch. Mama comes downstairs to find the pair on the couch. Vint throws another fit. They all fight and Mama reveals she got invited to join the country club. However, it’s actually an invite to Ellen’s Woman of the Year Banquet. Mama does not want to go, but Naomi and Vint are going to go. Mama changes her mind. At the country club Ellen is taking pictures with the mayor. Mama walks into the banquet and Ellen spits out her champagne. Ellen is not happy when she finds out that inviting her family was a surprise. Vint and Mama tell the story about finding the missing bowling ball. The appetizers go badly. Then Mama decides to dance with the mayor. The meal is finally served but Ellen’s embarrassment continues to worsen. The mayor starts his presentation. He invites Mama to speak about Ellen. Ellen tries to get her off stage quickly but fails. Mama turns the celebration into a roast. She tells the story of Ellen as a majorette and the missing underwear. The three arrive home still laughing.

Hot in Cleveland S02, Ep05 – I Love Lucci, part 1 #HotinCleveland

Season: 2
Episode: 5
Title: I Love Lucci, part 1
Original Air Date: February 16, 2011

Guest Stars:
Susan Lucci: Susan Lucci
Michael E Knight: Michael E. Knight
Jimmy Kimmel: Himself
Peri Gilpin: Taylor
Leslie Grossman: Elise
Max Greenfield: Steve
Darnell Williams: Himself
Charles Adler: Director
Jeffery Self: Waiter
Creagen Down: Dan

Synopsis: The ladies go to LA for Victoria’s scene in All My Children. They all eat lunch with an old friend. Elka is chasing Robert Redford’s trail through town. Melanie meets her possible home buyers. Victoria and Joy are on set at the soap opera. She and Susan Lucci start feuding immediately. Susan gets Victoria’s scene wiped out. Victoria tries to poison her with strawberries. They think someone is coming so they hide in the bathroom. But they get trapped….

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The Golden Girls S01, Ep16 – The Truth Will Out

Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 1
Episode: 16
Title: The Truth Will Out
Original Air Date: January 18, 1986

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Amazon The Golden Girls: Season 1

iTunes The Golden Girls, Season 1 – The Golden Girls

Favorite Quotes:

* Dorothy: How practical, a snack you can panel your den with.

* Dorothy: Tell me Rose do any of your kids still have their own teeth?

* Sophia: Look at this I’m a walking time bomb. Stand back I could blow any minute.

* Sophia: I’m begging you, while we’re sleeping together lay off the broccoli at dinner.

* Blanche: Boy, I’d love to put some surprises in my will. Like leaving a small remembrance who’s brought some special joy or please to my life.
Dorothy: Where would they read that will, the astrodome?

* Sophia: That’s a girl’s name? Charlie, that’s a bookies name.

* Blanche: Have you noticed Rose has been acting peculiar?
Dorothy: Yes, Blanche, from the first day I met her.

* Blanche: What are you going to do with yours?
Dorothy: It’s a log, I’m going to burn it.

* Blanche: I have no secrets from you. My whole life is an open book.
Sophia: Your whole life is an open blouse.

* Rose: We’re in the middle of a make up lesson.
Sophia: I hope the kid can help you, you wear more rouge that Miss Piggy.

* Rose: Dorothy, you’re sleeping with a liar.
Dorothy: Don’t worry about it Rose, most of the people I’ve slept with were liars.

* Blanche: So that’s it? That’s the big secret, Charlie was a nice guy.

Synopsis: Dorothy enters the kitchen. Rose is making a maple log. Dorothy tries a piece and nearly loses all her teeth. Rose’s daughter and granddaughter is coming to town and she is making it for them. Blanche comes in going on about a tabloid. Sophia comes in saying her blood pressure is too high. She is trying to get out of sharing a room with Dorothy. Rose is nervous about her family coming to visit. Turns out she is going over her will with her daughter. Rose has headed off to the airport. Blanche comes home with sequined socks. Blanche and Dorothy discuss Rose’s nervousness regarding her daughter and her will. But Blanche digresses back to the tabloid story. Rose arrives with Kirsten and Charlie. They’ve brought gifts. It’s the same maple log that Rose was making earlier. Everyone has dinner out on the lanai. Rose cleans up dinner and Kirsten helps her. Kirsten thinks that Rose is rich, but when she looks at the will she thinks something is wrong. Kirsten gets angry and Rose. She believes that she squandered all the money that her father had made. She gets upset and storms out of the kitchen. Later that night Rose can’t sleep and is in the kitchen. Dorothy and Blanche find her in the kitchen and attempt to comfort her. Sophia joins them. Rose talks about lies and askes the girls about the biggest lie they ever told. Rose melts down. She can’t tell Kirsten the truth about the money with revealing a secret about her husband. In Rose’s room Charlie plays dress up. Rose comes in to get Charlie for lunch. Rose learns that the only thing Charlie has ever heard about her grandpa was that he was successful and rich. That night Sophia cries uncle, Dorothy won’t stop tossing and turning, that and her cold feet are keeping her awake. Sophia takes Rose’s bed and Rose bunks with Dorothy. Rose confesses to Dorothy but she has pretended to have fallen asleep. The next day Blanche is still going on about the tabloid case. Kirsten comes in the front door, she announces they’re leaving much earlier. Rose tries to talk to Kirsten. She finally tells her the truth, that there was no money. They make up.

Hot in Cleveland S02, Ep04 – Sisterhood of the Traveling SPANX #HotinCleveland

Season: 2
Episode: 4
Title: Sisterhood of the Traveling SPANX
Original Air Date: February 9, 2011

Guest Stars:
Melanie Griffith: Melanie Griffith
Jack Wagner: Dr. Aaron Everett
Tug Coker: Oliver
Natalija Nogulich: Vadoma
Nicole Dalton: Judy
Anthony Holiday: Ben
Jason Boegh: Casting Director

Synopsis: Joy goes to a physic and gets sold some Spanx. A week later at the house the ladies are going to throw the Spanx in the fire and burn it. Elka asks them why. Each tells her story. Joy thought she got a date with a got guy from the farmers market, but he really just wanted a baby sitter while he proposed to his girlfriend. Victoria got a job offer, but it did not go so well. She was to play Melanie Griffith’s mother. It turned into a catfight. Melanie wore it to Stormi’s to try and get the attention of this guy she thought was cute. However….

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The Golden Girls S01, Ep15 – In A Bed of Rose’s

Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 1
Episode: 15
Title: In A Bed of Rose’s
Original Air Date: January 11, 1986

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Amazon The Golden Girls: Season 1

iTunes The Golden Girls, Season 1 – The Golden Girls

Favorite Quotes:

* Blanche: Isn’t it interesting how the sounds are the same for awful nightmares and great sex?

* Blanche: So Rose got lucky.
Sophia: Not so lucky. The man in your bed is dead.

* Rose: He’s shy. He’s very shy.
Blanche: He didn’t sound so shy last night.

* Sophia: You don’t think I can recognize death? I lived in a retirement home. Death visited more often than children.

* Rose: You mean I slept with a dead man last night?
Blanche: Honey, I sleep with them all the time.

* Rose: I can’t believe it, there’s a married dead man in my bed.
Sophia: Serves him right.

* Sophia: Tell her you went to turn on the sprinklers and you found him on the lawn.

* Rose: That’s not why I’m here. I have bad news.
Mrs. Beatty: Well, you couldn’t be pregnant.

* Rose: My late husband had a heart attack as well. They drop like flies around me.

* Rose: I’m the kiss of death. It’s the second time a man has died in my bed.

* Sophia: She’ll be fine. If someone breaks in she’ll just have to sleep with them.

Synopsis: Rose is at the door with her current boyfriend. He begs to “come in.” She weakens and lets him in. Rose decides to take him to her room. The next morning, she happily goes in the kitchen. Dorothy was worried she was having a nightmare, while Blanche thought she was having great sex. Blanche then leads a discussion on great sex. Sophia enters. She tells Rose there’s a man in her bed. The two tease her for lying about having sex. She tells Rose the man in her bed his dead. No one wants to check on him. Finally, Dorothy decides to check on him and Sophia has to accompany her. Sophia and Dorothy confirm he is dead. Rose is shocked and freaks out. Dorothy tries to comfort her. Blanche then tells her how she was notified of her husband’s death. Now she has to notify his sister of her brother’s death. Blanche finds a Beatty in Boca Raton. Rose calls her but learns that Al (the dead man) was married and cheating with her. She freaks out again. So Rose decides to go to Mrs. Beatty’s house and tell her in person. Mrs. Beatty is already aware of his cheating. Rose tells her that Al had a heart attack and died last night. She doesn’t take the news well. Rose explains she killed him. Her husband died the same way. They’re both upset. Back at the house Blanche has Dorothy try a salad dressing. Rose then enters. She tells them that Al is the second guy to die in her bed. She then tells a St. Olaf story and annoys Dorothy and Blanche. Another evening Blanche and Dorothy try to get Rose to go dancing with them, but she refuses. Later that night the doorbell rings. It’s Mrs. Beatty. She came to tell Rose that she was not responsible for his death. His arteries were completely clogged. Another evening out on the lanai Dorothy and Blanche are playing cards. Rose comes out on the lanai to get their opinion of her new dress. She has her first date in 3 months. She’s going away with Arnie. In the kitchen Dorothy complains about Rose being two hours late. They both discuss if Rose had sex or not. Rose enters looking quite upset. She tells them she slept with Arnie and he died. They are horrified. She then talks about telling the Sheriff and him not believing her so she slept with him and he died. But then she starts laughing. Arnie is fine. Her story is a joke. Dorothy and Blanche get upset and storm out.

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