The Golden Girls S01, Ep18 – The Operation

Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 1
Episode: 18
Title: The Operation
Original Air Date: February 8, 1986

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Favorite Quotes:

* Sophia: You drink out of a paper bag in the park and suddenly everybody is your friend.

* Sophia: I won’t dance, don’t ask me.

* Sophia: A mother knows when her child is lying, it’s like bat radar.

* Dorothy: You win, you always win but you don’t play fair.
Sophia: That’s why I always win.

* Dorothy: Rose, do a big ugly man with a limp a favor and shut up.

* Dorothy: You’re not serious.
Sophia: No, I’m just acting as stupid as you are.

* Dorothy: More men have seen my bottom today than in my entire life.

* Blanche: I think I caught what Dorothy has. My foot hurts.

* Rose: If you end up in a puddle tonight you better break into Singing In The Rain.

Synopsis: Blanche and Rose bring Dorothy home, limping. She has injured herself tap dancing. Dorothy brushes it off as no big deal. They head into the kitchen for a snack. Dorothy’s foot continues to cause her pain. Blanche tells her to do a Cincinnati Time step and when she does she exclaims in pain. The next day Blanche and Rose practice while Dorothy is at the doctor. When she comes home she lies and tells them she is fine. Sophia tells her she is lying and forces her to tell the truth. She has a small tumor in her foot that needs to be removed. It can be removed, but she does not want to do it. She has a panic attack. Sophia guilts her into having surgery. Dorothy checks in to the hospital the night before the surgery but the girls don’t calm her fears and she tries to leave. After the girls leave a doctor comes in and tells her that he will be doing her surgery because the scheduled doctor is going to be in court. Later that evening a Priest arrives. He starts giving Dorothy her last rites. He’s in the wrong room and doesn’t help her fears. Back at the house Blanche is getting ready to go out. She sees Dorothy walk by. Rose runs in telling Blanche to call the police. They try to get her to go back to the hospital. Sophia comes in and Dorothy keeps trying to not go back. So she tells about being left alone at 5 years old in the hospital. She continues to say no, so Sophia tells her she will remove the tumor. Dorothy agrees to go back to the hospital. She has a roommate now who has to have surgery as well. After she tells Dorothy her story, Dorothy is singing a whole different tune. Back at the house, Rose is trying to get Blanche to go to the recital. Blanche tells Rose that she is afraid to perform in front of groups. She then tells her an embarrassing story from her childhood. Rose, however, is not taking it. She makes her go. Dorothy wakes up to find her mom asleep in the chair next to her. Blanche and Rose come to visit Dorothy. The two had to change up their act. They perform their routine for Dorothy and Sophia. She’s impressed but pissed. She puts her arm through Rose’s hat.

The Golden Girls S01, Ep17 – Nice and Easy

Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 1
Episode: 17
Title: Nice and Easy
Original Air Date: February 1, 1986

Favorite Quotes:

* Blanche: All right, you all please, no more rat talk.

* Dorothy: At 30,000 feet, she picks up a doctor, now I see the resemblance.

* Dorothy: Rose, do you have any idea how weird you are?

* Dorothy: This is the second man she’s gone away with and she only got here yesterday.

* Blanche: Ed picking up Michael was doing his job. You picking up Ed is something we need to talk about.

* Dorothy: Rose are you telling a story or performing “Our Town?”

* Rose: This mouse is an odd duck.
Dorothy: Rose, how many head wounds have you had?

* Dorothy: Ed for a policeman you’ve led a very sheltered life.

* Dorothy: I don’t believe this, I’m talking to a mouse. The scary part is I think you’re listening.

* Rose: Don’t be silly, you couldn’t even kill a little mouse.

* Dorothy: We enjoyed having you.
Sophia: So did half of Miami.
Dorothy: Ma!!

Synopsis: Sophia is painting her nails in the living room. Blanche is upset because her niece, Lucy, is coming to visit. Dorothy comes out of the kitchen freaking out about a rat, but Rose says it’s a mouse. Blanche wants to call an exterminator, but Rose won’t let her. She tells a story about a pet mouse she had and how he saved her life. The doorbell rings and it’s Lucy. Lucy tells them she met a doctor on the plane. The next day Dorothy is upset because the mouse is still there. Rose tells her she will talk to the mouse. Blanche storms in upset that Lucy never came home. Lucy walks in the kitchen. She tells them the doctor took her on a midnight cruise. Out on the lanai Sophia and Dorothy are playing checkers. Lucy comes out and tells them she’s going out again. Dorothy assumes it’s the doctor again, but it’s someone from the college. Blanche comes out and checks on her. When Lucy tells her she’s going to the Bahamas, she’s upset but then lets her go. After she takes off Dorothy tells her she’s not going with the doctor. Blanche will try and talk to her when she gets back. Sophia tells a story. Blanche falls asleep on the couch waiting for Lucy to come home. Lucy has a third guy with her, Ed a policeman. Blanche tries to ground her but Lucy storms out. In the kitchen Blanche is upset. The girls try to comfort her. Rose tells a story about when she rebelled as a teen. Blanche then tells several stories about her teenage years. Blanche decides to go after Lucy. They all get up to leave and Dorothy screams about the mouse. Lucy is at her newest boyfriend’s apartment. There’s a knock at the door and its Blanche, Dorothy and Rose. Rose compliments Ed on his apartment while Blanche and Lucy talk in his room. They have quite the heart to heart. In the living room, Ed gives Rose a Miami Vice trivia quiz. Blanche and Lucy come out and everyone leaves. Back in the kitchen, we see the adorable little field mouse. Dorothy is trying to kill it with a broom but winds up having a conversation with it. Rose walks in and catches the conversation. Dorothy convinces the mouse to exit the way it came in. Rose is so excited that Dorothy can talk to animals and Dorothy tries to play it off. Blanche comes in and lets them know Lucy is about to leave. Everyone says goodbye. Rose wants to know what she told Lucy that night. Blanche gives them a short version.

The Golden Girls S01, Ep16 – The Truth Will Out

Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 1
Episode: 16
Title: The Truth Will Out
Original Air Date: January 18, 1986

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Favorite Quotes:

* Dorothy: How practical, a snack you can panel your den with.

* Dorothy: Tell me Rose do any of your kids still have their own teeth?

* Sophia: Look at this I’m a walking time bomb. Stand back I could blow any minute.

* Sophia: I’m begging you, while we’re sleeping together lay off the broccoli at dinner.

* Blanche: Boy, I’d love to put some surprises in my will. Like leaving a small remembrance who’s brought some special joy or please to my life.
Dorothy: Where would they read that will, the astrodome?

* Sophia: That’s a girl’s name? Charlie, that’s a bookies name.

* Blanche: Have you noticed Rose has been acting peculiar?
Dorothy: Yes, Blanche, from the first day I met her.

* Blanche: What are you going to do with yours?
Dorothy: It’s a log, I’m going to burn it.

* Blanche: I have no secrets from you. My whole life is an open book.
Sophia: Your whole life is an open blouse.

* Rose: We’re in the middle of a make up lesson.
Sophia: I hope the kid can help you, you wear more rouge that Miss Piggy.

* Rose: Dorothy, you’re sleeping with a liar.
Dorothy: Don’t worry about it Rose, most of the people I’ve slept with were liars.

* Blanche: So that’s it? That’s the big secret, Charlie was a nice guy.

Synopsis: Dorothy enters the kitchen. Rose is making a maple log. Dorothy tries a piece and nearly loses all her teeth. Rose’s daughter and granddaughter is coming to town and she is making it for them. Blanche comes in going on about a tabloid. Sophia comes in saying her blood pressure is too high. She is trying to get out of sharing a room with Dorothy. Rose is nervous about her family coming to visit. Turns out she is going over her will with her daughter. Rose has headed off to the airport. Blanche comes home with sequined socks. Blanche and Dorothy discuss Rose’s nervousness regarding her daughter and her will. But Blanche digresses back to the tabloid story. Rose arrives with Kirsten and Charlie. They’ve brought gifts. It’s the same maple log that Rose was making earlier. Everyone has dinner out on the lanai. Rose cleans up dinner and Kirsten helps her. Kirsten thinks that Rose is rich, but when she looks at the will she thinks something is wrong. Kirsten gets angry and Rose. She believes that she squandered all the money that her father had made. She gets upset and storms out of the kitchen. Later that night Rose can’t sleep and is in the kitchen. Dorothy and Blanche find her in the kitchen and attempt to comfort her. Sophia joins them. Rose talks about lies and askes the girls about the biggest lie they ever told. Rose melts down. She can’t tell Kirsten the truth about the money with revealing a secret about her husband. In Rose’s room Charlie plays dress up. Rose comes in to get Charlie for lunch. Rose learns that the only thing Charlie has ever heard about her grandpa was that he was successful and rich. That night Sophia cries uncle, Dorothy won’t stop tossing and turning, that and her cold feet are keeping her awake. Sophia takes Rose’s bed and Rose bunks with Dorothy. Rose confesses to Dorothy but she has pretended to have fallen asleep. The next day Blanche is still going on about the tabloid case. Kirsten comes in the front door, she announces they’re leaving much earlier. Rose tries to talk to Kirsten. She finally tells her the truth, that there was no money. They make up.

The Golden Girls S01, Ep15 – In A Bed of Rose’s

Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 1
Episode: 15
Title: In A Bed of Rose’s
Original Air Date: January 11, 1986

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Favorite Quotes:

* Blanche: Isn’t it interesting how the sounds are the same for awful nightmares and great sex?

* Blanche: So Rose got lucky.
Sophia: Not so lucky. The man in your bed is dead.

* Rose: He’s shy. He’s very shy.
Blanche: He didn’t sound so shy last night.

* Sophia: You don’t think I can recognize death? I lived in a retirement home. Death visited more often than children.

* Rose: You mean I slept with a dead man last night?
Blanche: Honey, I sleep with them all the time.

* Rose: I can’t believe it, there’s a married dead man in my bed.
Sophia: Serves him right.

* Sophia: Tell her you went to turn on the sprinklers and you found him on the lawn.

* Rose: That’s not why I’m here. I have bad news.
Mrs. Beatty: Well, you couldn’t be pregnant.

* Rose: My late husband had a heart attack as well. They drop like flies around me.

* Rose: I’m the kiss of death. It’s the second time a man has died in my bed.

* Sophia: She’ll be fine. If someone breaks in she’ll just have to sleep with them.

Synopsis: Rose is at the door with her current boyfriend. He begs to “come in.” She weakens and lets him in. Rose decides to take him to her room. The next morning, she happily goes in the kitchen. Dorothy was worried she was having a nightmare, while Blanche thought she was having great sex. Blanche then leads a discussion on great sex. Sophia enters. She tells Rose there’s a man in her bed. The two tease her for lying about having sex. She tells Rose the man in her bed his dead. No one wants to check on him. Finally, Dorothy decides to check on him and Sophia has to accompany her. Sophia and Dorothy confirm he is dead. Rose is shocked and freaks out. Dorothy tries to comfort her. Blanche then tells her how she was notified of her husband’s death. Now she has to notify his sister of her brother’s death. Blanche finds a Beatty in Boca Raton. Rose calls her but learns that Al (the dead man) was married and cheating with her. She freaks out again. So Rose decides to go to Mrs. Beatty’s house and tell her in person. Mrs. Beatty is already aware of his cheating. Rose tells her that Al had a heart attack and died last night. She doesn’t take the news well. Rose explains she killed him. Her husband died the same way. They’re both upset. Back at the house Blanche has Dorothy try a salad dressing. Rose then enters. She tells them that Al is the second guy to die in her bed. She then tells a St. Olaf story and annoys Dorothy and Blanche. Another evening Blanche and Dorothy try to get Rose to go dancing with them, but she refuses. Later that night the doorbell rings. It’s Mrs. Beatty. She came to tell Rose that she was not responsible for his death. His arteries were completely clogged. Another evening out on the lanai Dorothy and Blanche are playing cards. Rose comes out on the lanai to get their opinion of her new dress. She has her first date in 3 months. She’s going away with Arnie. In the kitchen Dorothy complains about Rose being two hours late. They both discuss if Rose had sex or not. Rose enters looking quite upset. She tells them she slept with Arnie and he died. They are horrified. She then talks about telling the Sheriff and him not believing her so she slept with him and he died. But then she starts laughing. Arnie is fine. Her story is a joke. Dorothy and Blanche get upset and storm out.

The Golden Girls S01, Ep14 – That Was No Lady

Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 1
Episode: 14
Title: That Was No Lady
Original Air Date: December 21, 1985

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Favorite Quotes:

* Sophia: You decided to install a trapeze over your bed?

* Sophia: Rose, it’s a used car not a seat on the space shuttle.

* Dorothy: We started talking and in 30 seconds I was in love.

* Blanche: You’ve been hit by the thunderbolt, love at first sight.

* Rose: He paid for a new wagon even though my policy didn’t cover acts of swine.

* Dorothy: Your children are over 30, you’re still staying for them?

* Blanche: An auto mechanic is the last person you take a car to, they only make money if they tell you somethings wrong with it.

* Blanche: Sometimes we just have to grab our happiness where we can get it.

* Rose: A motel? A cheap, tawdry, bare bulb den of inequity.

* Rose: Evil is as evil does.

* Sophia: I raised you to have respect for yourself, not be somebody’s floozy.

* Dorothy: You can’t leave your wife and I can’t be the other woman.

Synopsis: Rose and Sophia are playing a board game on the lanai. Blanche comes out excited. She has decided to buy a new car, but she has to get rid of her old one first. Rose needs a new car and Blanche decides to let her test drive it for two weeks. Dorothy comes out, also excited. She has a date. He’s a gym teacher at the school where she is subbing. Rose tells the story of how she met Charlie. Three weeks later, Dorothy and Glenn are at a hotel discussing their relationship. He tells her he is married. She storms out. Back at the house Rose comes home and tells Blanche that her car is having issues. Blanche convinces her the car is fine. The phone rings and Rose thinks it’s Glenn but it’s Dorothy’s boss. Dorothy comes out and they all discuss the relationship. Then he calls and Dorothy puts him off. While the others go in the kitchen Dorothy calls Glenn and rekindles their relationship. Late that evening she comes back and gets caught. Dorothy and Rose go into the kitchen. Blanche joins them. She offers tips on how to check into a motel/hotel. Rose continues to pass judgement. Blanche states she’s never been with a married man as the wife gets the better gifts. Sophia joins them. She lectures Dorothy and exits the kitchen. Rose runs onto the lanai looking for Blanche. Blanche comes out and admits the car is a piece of junk. She needed the whole blue book value and couldn’t get it. Rose tells them that the car was stolen. Sophia tells them that since it was insured she’ll get the full bluebook value. Those two leave and Dorothy comes out looking for her shoes. They argue again over Glenn and Dorothy storms off. At the hotel Dorothy dumps Glenn. Dorothy walks into the kitchen and tells Sophia she broke up with Glenn. They make up. Rose and Blanche return in good moods. Blanche invites everyone to go cruising in her new car. They all stay in, then Dorothy decides they are all going cruising.

The Golden Girls S01, Ep13 – A Little Romance

Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 1
Episode: 12
Title: A Little Romance
Original Air Date: December 14, 1985

Guest Stars:
Brent Collins: Dr. Jonathan Newman
Billy Barty: Edgar Lindstrom
Tony Carreiro: The Waiter
Jeane Dixon: Herself

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Favorite Quotes:

* Blanche: Dorothy, I just discovered a great new way to meet more men.
Sophia: More men? You’re going to need a turnstile in your bedroom.

* Blanche: So Rose, you’re seeing a psychiatrist?
Sophia: It’s about time.

* Blanche: I can’t allow that to happen, it’s unsouthern.
Dorothy: That’s a good belle.

* Sophia: That guy over there, is he a midget?
Dorothy: Yes.
Sophia: Thank God, I thought I was having another stroke.

* Blanche: I went to my senior prom with a Yankee!!

* Rose: Sophia why are you in a priests outfit?
Sophia: Because I’m the one who’s going to marry you.

* Sophia: Why are we in the dream in the first place if she’s throwing us out?

* Sophia: We’re all adults here. Let the man out of the pillowcase. We don’t mind if he sleeps over.

* Waiter: How was the shrimp?
Rose: Unfortunately, I’ll never know.

Synopsis: Sophia prepares for a trip to visit her son Phil. She packs her suitcase with food instead of clothes. Blanche comes home. Later, Rose is getting ready for a date. Sophia needs a ride to the airport and Rose offers to take her. Later that week the ladies are getting ready to entertain Rose’s new boyfriend. Rose is not happy because they called him and not Rose. Blanche wants her dreams analyzed. The doorbell rings and Blanche tells them she isn’t interested. Surprise, it’s Rose’s boyfriend, he happens to be a little person. Blanche does not respond well to Dr. Newman’s height. She runs into the kitchen. Dorothy tries to calm her. The night continues on and Blanche keeps putting her foot in her mouth. Sophia returns early, everyone is shocked. Sophia thinks she is having another stroke, Dorothy assures her she is not. He leaves. Rose shocks everyone by saying she thinks Jonathon is going to ask her to marry him. She isn’t sure what to do, because she is uncomfortable about him being a little person. Blanche tells a story about a relationship she had. The girls think she is talking about him being different, but instead he was a Yankee. Rose, still distressed, takes a nap. She dreams that she is about to marry Jonathon. Sophia is the minister. Then Rose’s dad makes an appearance, but now he’s a little person. By the end of the dream she has decided she’ll marry Jonathon. Dorothy and Blanche run in because Rose sounds in distress. Rose and Jonathon are at dinner. They talk and Rose thinks he’s going to propose. However, he dumps her because she is not Jewish.

The Golden Girls S01, Ep12 – The Custody Battle

Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 1
Episode: 12
Title: The Custody Battle
Original Air Date: December 7, 1985

Guest Stars:
Doris Belack: Gloria Petrillo

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Favorite Quotes:

* Sophia: Nagging? Is that what it’s called when a mother wants a little happiness for her daughter?

* Blanche: Oh forget it. Why paint the peacock?

* Gloria: It’s a gift certificate for a complete makeover at Elizabeth Arden.
Sophia: Maybe now you can get a date.

* Blanche: Trust me I got this part in the sack.

* Blanche: You’re pulling my leg. He picked you over me?

* Blanche: I can’t believe this. I’ve been had.
Dorothy: I know. And you still didn’t get the part.

* Dorothy: I don’t know Rose. Maybe Marry Poppins has an Italian cousin.

* Blanche: What a terrible morning this is. Sophia’s leaving and I’m playing an ugly old witch because you stole my part.

* Dorothy: You have everything. Do you have to have Ma, too?

* Gloria: Ma looked at you and saw a wonderful future. She looked at me and hoped I’d marry rich.

* Sophia: Most people my age have children trying to get rid of them. My children are fighting over who gets to keep me.

Synopsis: Dorothy and Sophia are washing glasses. Sophia hounds her again about dating. Blanche enters the kitchen asking Dorothy if she can borrow some jewelry for her date. Sophia is excited that Gloria is coming to visit. Dorothy and Sophia fight and Sophia storms off. The next morning everyone is in the kitchen. The doorbell rings and Gloria has arrived. Gloria brings gifts but plans to stay at a hotel. Sophia uses guilt to get Gloria to stay at the house. Rose and Blanche meet Gloria before they head off to their audition. Gloria lavishes Sophia with gifts and gives Dorothy a gift certificate for a makeover. Later that day Blanche and Rose comes back and they discuss the auditions. They all discuss siblings. Blanche makes her case for being the least favorite child of her parents. Rose goes into a story about Christmas when she was a child. That night Dorothy and Gloria are getting ready for sleep. Gloria invites Dorothy to come visit her. Then she drops a bomb on Dorothy that she wants Sophia to come and live with her. Dorothy is surprised and then shocked when Gloria says Sophia wants to go live with her. The next day Dorothy talks with Sophia about her moving. Dorothy is upset but tries to act supportive. Dorothy enters the kitchen and tells Blanche she has bad news. Then Rose walks in and announces she has bad news. Rose tells Blanche she did not get the lead in Macbeth, instead is got Witch #3. Rose is playing Lady Macbeth. Blanche is livid. Dorothy tells them her bad news is that Sophia is leaving and going to live with Gloria. Rose and Blanche are very upset. Dorothy doesn’t want to her leave either. Later that night Dorothy and Gloria have words over Sophia. Gloria makes clear to Dorothy that she is actually Ma’s favorite, not Gloria or Phil. Gloria tells her she is jealous of her. But most importantly that Ma doesn’t want to go live with her; she wants to stay with Dorothy. Dorothy goes and talks to Sophia and convinces her to stay. Gloria comes in and Sophia tells her she is staying in Miami. They all hug. Dorothy comes back from dinner, they had a good time. Everyone is happy that Sophia is not leaving. Sophia comes in to the kitchen with gifts for each of the girls. She gifted them items that she actually stole. They all decide it’s time to search her room again.

The Golden Girls S01, Ep11 – Stan’s Return

Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 1
Episode: 11
Title: Stan’s Return
Original Air Date: November 30, 1985

Guest Stars:
Herb Edelman: Stanley Zbornak (as Herbert Edelman)
Simone Griffeth: Chrissy

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Favorite Quotes:

* Sophia: So where is this vacation spot you’re going to where they don’t allow mothers?

* Sophia: You’re leaving me behind to watch the house like an old watch dog.

* Dorothy: Why did I ever marry that man?
Sophia: Because he knocked you up.

* Dorothy: Younger than Chrissy? Where did she meet him, Camp Snoopy?

* Sophia: You had to bring him home? Why couldn’t you find a drunken sailor on a street corner?

* Dorothy: Well, everything’s gotten more expensive since Truman left office.

* Blanche: Take it from me. There is no gentle way to end it with a man. They just don’t get the message.

* Dorothy: I don’t know what to say. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

Synopsis: Rose and Blanche discuss exotic vacation spots. It appears the three are planning a vacation together and leaving Sophia out. She is not happy. Sophia comes back in the kitchen to let Dorothy know Stan is there. Apparently, his wife is still in Maui. He’s only come to sell a piece of property they purchased. He leaves. The next day Stan and Dorothy are at a cafe. He finally breaks down and tells Dorothy that Chrissy has left him for a younger man. Stan breaks down into a pathetic pile of tears. Back in the kitchen Blanche, Rose and Sophia discuss vacation locations. They still haven’t decided. Their morning is ruined when Stan walks in wearing Dorothy’s robe. Dorothy walks in and admits they slept together. Everyone is shocked. Dorothy says it was a one time thing, but when she goes back to the living room she hears Stan ordering flowers for her. Later that day Rose gives a litany of questions and annoys everyone. Dorothy then drops a bomb about Stan. She doesn’t know if she wants to get back together with him or not. As Stan tries to reconcile with Dorothy Sophia barges in with a bunch of friends showing off Dorothy and Stan like a museum exhibit. They flee to the kitchen. He gives his pitch and tells her he loves her, then leaves. Later that night Dorothy enters the kitchen to find the ladies there with the food ready. She is still confused about Stan. Blanche and Rose each give her advise about breaking up with men. Dorothy goes to Stan’s hotel room. He thinks they are getting back together. Before she breaks the news to him Chrissy comes to try and get him back. She wants him back. He tells her he is getting back with Dorothy. After she leaves Dorothy tells him they are not getting back together. He freaks out and runs after Chrissy.

The Golden Girls S01, Ep10 – The Heart Attack

Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 1
Episode: 10
Title: The Heart Attack
Original Air Date: November 23, 1985

Guest Stars:
Ronald Hunter: Dr. Harris

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Favorite Quotes:

* Sophia: You’re Scandinavian, what do you know, 1,000 ways to make herring?

* Dorothy: Blanche, do you know what a bubble is?
Blanche: No, but I know what a bauble is.

* Sophia: I’m 80 years old, I’ve got Pavarotti sitting on my chest. Odds are it’s a heart attack.

* Sophia (to Rose): You’re starting to annoy me. You shouldn’t annoy a sick person.

Synopsis: The girls party breaks up and they discuss the guests behavior while cleaning up. Sophia brings dishes into the kitchen. They all talk about food and Rose mentions making herring pie. Sophia heads back to the living room to clean up. The girls follow her out. Sophia says she has a bubble. Rose explains its gas and it doesn’t go away until you belch. Dororthy requests Blanche call the doctor. Sophia’s bubble increases and now she’s in pain. She worries she’s having a heart attack. Since Blanche couldn’t reach the doctor she called the paramedics. Sophia and Dorothy talk about how people in their family died. Blanche offers to make coffee while they wait on help. Sophia tells Dorothy her final wishes. In the kitchen Blanche and Rose discuss death. Blanche and Rose go back in the living room with the coffee. Sophia fell asleep and Dorothy thought she died. While Sophia rests Rose tries to calm Dorothy. She tells her about Charlie’s heart attack. It happened while they were making love. Blanche comes back out and lets Dorothy know that due to the storm the paramedics are delayed. Sophia wakes up and tells them about a dream she had. Rose keeps Sophia company but her rambling annoys Sophia. Dorothy and Blanche are in Sophia’s room looking for her rosary. They talk and Blanche tries to comfort Dorothy. The doorbell rings and it’s Dr. Harris. She and the doctor discuss food. He examines her and asks her to tell him what she ate. They all list food they saw her eat. The doctor is shocked at how much she ate. It’s a gallbladder attack from overeating. Already Sophia feels better. They share a moment, Dorothy and Sophia. Later in the kitchen the three discuss death again. They then use death as an excuse to pig out.

The Golden Girls S01, Ep09 – Blanche and the Younger Man

Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 1
Episode: 9
Title: Blanche and the Younger Man
Original Air Date: November 16, 1985

Guest Stars:
Jeanette Nolan: Alma Lindstrom
Charles Hill: Dirk

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Favorite Quotes:

* Sophia: I know a lot of old people. They’re cranky, they’re demanding, they repeat themselves, they’re cranky.

* Blanche: Why Dirk, did I just hear you ask me for a date?
Sophia: What are you deaf? I heard him from way over here.

* Sophia: Stand back, we’re gonna get something on us.

* Dorothy: The only time I get in that position is when I give birth.

* Rose: Hi Blanche you look terrific. (Blanche leaves) Blanche looks terrible.

* Dorothy: Come on, she’s out betting on the horses, not rounding them up.

* Blanche: A husband like Dirk could keep me young for another 20 years.
Sophia: Or kill you.

* Blanche: I do believe he said gorgeous. I’m gonna live forever.
Dorothy: Not outside of an institution.

* Dorothy: Blanche thinks she’s Peter Pan and Rose has turned into Mommy Dearest.
Sophia: That’s nothing. You think you’re Josephine the plumber.

* Rose’s Mom: I understand Rosie. But stopping me from living is not going to keep me from dying.

Synopsis: The girls prepare for Rose’s mom’s visit. Blanche comes back from the gym with her personal trainer and he asks her out. Rose comes back from the airport with her mom, but she is talking to her like she can’t hear, but her hearing is fine. Blanche asks Mrs. Lindstrum a question but Rose becomes very overbearing. And her mother gets mad at her. Blanche, who was apprehensive about dating Dirk because he’s younger, decides she’s going to go out with him. Blanche then goes into a story from her teenage years, where she supposedly could have become Mrs. Andy Griffth. Later, Blanche is doing some strange exercises. Dorothy makes fun of Blanche for doing all these crazy things to try and be younger. Rose came home early to spend time with her mother, but Dorothy informs her she’s gone to the dog track with Sophia. Rose has a melt down. Sophia and Mrs. Linstrum return. Sophia lost money and Mrs. Lindstrum won $400. Mrs. Lindstrum is still excited and wants to go to the mall. But Rose starts treating her like a child again. She blows up at Rose and storms out of the kitchen. Later that night Rose is freaking out again because her mom is not back yet and the sun has set. Sophia comes in the door, but Mrs. Lindstrum is not with her. Rose is furious and upset. While Dorothy tries to talk sense into Rose the phone rings. The police have picked up her mother. Blanche makes her grand entrance in her date outfit and claims to have taken 10 years off her age. The doorbell rings and it’s Dirk. Dorothy fixes the kitchen sink. The front door slams and Rose and her mother return. Alma is furious with Rose. She is sick of Rose treating her like a child. Alma informs Rose she will be leaving in the morning. Dorothy tries to talk some sense into Rose. In Alma’s room Sophia loses $40 more to Alma. Rose comes in to talk to her mother. She apologizes to her mom. She tells her she is just worried about losing her. They make up. In the kitchen Sophia and Dorothy are setting the table with Dorothy’s good china. They have a heart to heart. Sophia thanks her for not treating her like an old lady. Blanche and Dirk are at the restaurant. She places a big order and then he just orders a salad, so she switches. They start to talk and everything is going great until he tells her she reminds him of his mother. Blanche is devastated, calls over the waiter and switches her order. Back at the house Sophia and Alma are playing a game with pretzels. Sophia doesn’t want to pay up and smashes the pretzels. They discuss Blanche’s date. Rose is shocked that Dorothy also dated a younger man. However, Alma tells a story about a younger guy she was with called Ben. When Rose finds out he was an ex-con she freaks. But, she does regain her composure and tries to act supportive. Blanche enters the kitchen visibly upset. She tells them he was looking for a mother not a lover. Dorothy tries to talk some sense into Blanche. She and Rose both storm out of the kitchen.

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