Show: The Golden Girls
Title: Great Expectations
Season 5 Episode 14
Original Air Date: January 13, 1990
Blanche wants to borrow a gun from Dorothy. The one that goes with her cowgirl outfit is missing.
+Blanche: I’m a cowgirl. Yippee-aye-oh-K-Y.
She’s going to a barbeque with a “real life cowboy.”
+Blanche: Why wear this if I’ve got nothing to put in it?
Sophia: I say the same thing every morning when I put on my bra.
Her date cancels though as he threw his back out putting on his boots. Blanche comments that a number of her dates have had to cancel because of injuries or their health. No one finds her complaints amusing as she is getting dates.
We all know that Blanche dates far more men then the other three ladies combined. She’s got a number of little black books that have no room left.
+Blanche: In the last year my average date has been over 60, bald, covered in liver spots and wears a truss.
Sophia would love to get one of these guys as a date.
Dorothy calls into question her six week relationship with Steven. She had been going out with him for six weeks and dumped him. Six weeks seems to be her max for dating anyone.
I assume that this expiration date on relationships stems from the loss of her husband. It’s likely her thought process is if she leaves first they won’t leave her. It’s a weird and strange way to protect her heart from more heartbreak.
Rose comes home. She’s joined this new “positive thinking” group. Dorothy poo poos the group.
+Dorothy: This is just a fad. This is for the gullible people who believe in magic.
Rose is not amused and continues to discuss it with her.
+Rose: Dorothy: you’re not very open-minded.
Dorothy: I am so. Now shut up.
Rose finally convinces her to go with her. Everyone decides to go to the meeting with Rose.
+Rose: Remember, today is the first day of the rest of your life.
Sophia: If I’m lucky, I may live to be seven.
They get to the meeting and it starts, but Blanche is flirting with a guy in the hall. The meeting begins and the girls get singled out as newly joining the group. Sophia is not impressed. If anything she is a bit creeped out by them.
+Sophia: I haven’t seen so many goofy smiles since the great denture swap at Shady Pines.
Dorothy does not want to be called a newcomer; she chooses to be an observer, but the group leader gets back at her by saying she must have a fear of commitment. Sophia proves her wrong by saying, “she had no problem committing me.” The group leader goes on the offensive against Dorothy and then blames her mother for her behavior. This offends Sophia.
The group leader is a little weird to me. She’s supposed to be welcoming and bring everyone in. But she randomly goes on the attack against Dorothy. Dorothy has the right to say she’s not comfortable in this group setting. The leader should not be attacking her for just saying what she feels. Shouldn’t she respect all the members, even those just auditing the group? Alienating new members won’t grow the group. But it will make the group look less than favorable to others when it has a leader who attacks those who don’t instantly agree with her.
Blanche finally arrives and Sophia gives her some words of advise:
+Sophia: Just a word of caution – don’t doze off. I think that’s when the pods take over your body.
Blanche is not impressed with the meeting either and her thoughts drift back to Steven.
+Blanche: I cannot believe this. I have a great guy like Steven just crazy about me, and I’m wasting my time here with these grinning idiots.
At the house, Dorothy has been working hard on the positive thinking course. Her list of thoughts is quite depressing though. Dorothy could do with some therapy. Steven enters with Blanche. She has started seeing him again, and everyone is surprised and happy for her.
+Blanche: I think the problem with him before was that he was on the rebound from Karen, but now that he’s gotten over her, he’s all mine, and I think we appreciate each other more.
This gets Dorothy thinking she should look up an old flame. Sophia begs her not to call Stan.
Another day and Dorothy has come back from the butcher’s. She’s in a great mood. She got good cuts of roast beef finally. Sophia is less than thrilled.
+Sophia: Oh great. Pilgrims are gonna be showing up to kiss Dorothy’s luncheon meat.
Dorothy’s positivity is really on an upswing and starting to annoy everyone. But it’s also influenced Blanche in a good way and may be part of why she got back together with Steven. But as they are discussing happiness and Steven the phone rings. They learn that Steven has had a heart attack and he’s in the hospital. Blanche freaks out and refuses to go to the hospital to see him.
+Blanche: I mean, I don’t think it’s a good idea to hook up with a 60-year-old man with a bad heart. What guarantee do I have we’ll have any kind of future together?
Dorothy: Blanche, in life there are no guarantees.
Sophia decides to tell a story, “picture it, Sicily 1912” She tells them a story about drinking with Picasso. The story doesn’t really touch Blanche and she decides to pick herself. Is anyone surprised by this? I’m not. Blanche always chooses herself. After losing George, she won’t put herself at risk like that again.
It’s a different day and it’s not been good for Dorothy. A St. Olaf story from Rose does not help.
+Dorothy: Rose, please, let me have a little recovery time before you start a St. Olaf story.
Rose continues her story. It’s actually a sad one and doesn’t help Dorothy. It just frustrates her and makes her mad like always. Blanche joins them. Everyone is confused she’s at the house as they thought she had a date.
+Blanche: Oh, I canceled. He was just a nice man with a big boat who wanted to go to Bimini.
She then tells them she is not ready to start something new. It makes sense she still hasn’t gone to the hospital to check on Steven. She feels some guilt because she did what she always does – run away.
Blanche finally goes to the hospital. She goes to the wrong bed at first and causes a divorce. She finally finds Steven and apologizes to him for her behavior. It’s nice to see Blanche act like an adult here and take responsibility for her actions and choices. She gives him quite the speech and then recounts a rather sexy date they had. She nearly gives him another heart attack. Then he tells her he and Karen are back together. Karen came, she didn’t. She finally tells the truth: “Ever since my husband died I think, “If I don’t leave, I’m gonna get left.” It looks like either way, I end up alone.” Steven does feel bad about that though. Having your partner die on you is not an easy thing to deal with or get over.
Back at the house, Dorothy has decided to quit the group. Rose doesn’t want her to and jumps into another St. Olaf story about some guy named Fricken. At least his name is funny. Rose decides to quit the group as well because she would rather be with the girls. And then Dorothy does something shocking. She says to Rose: “I hate to say this, but Rose, you’re special.” To which Rose promptly replies, “Thank you, Dorothy. I could never get them to say that to me at those meetings.”
Blanche returns at this point looking sad. She tells them that Steven is back with his old girlfriend. The girls are not surprised. She waited quite a long time to go and see him. He likely felt she didn’t care or want to be with him anymore so back to Karen he went. I guess they had Karen’s back in the 80s too. They all look slightly shocked (as am I) that she broke up a marriage while there and now she’s gonna date that guy. But only if his body doesn’t reject the new heart he just got.
Categories: The Golden Girls, TV Shows