Show: The Golden Girls
Title: Triple Play
Season 5 Episode 15
Original Air Date: January 27, 1990
Sophia asks Dorothy if they know someone named Cecelia. It appears it’s her dying cousin with weeks to live. She probably should have accepted the collect call charges. Sophia takes another call. It’s a man asking about a car for sale. Sophia says there’s no car for sale. And Blanche asks if its a man or a woman. Blanche has come up with a new scheme to meet men.
+Blanche: I have figured out the most wonderful way to meet men. Rich, eligible men. I put an ad in the paper saying I have a Mercedes for sale for a very low price.
Turns out she is renting a Mercedes and using the ad to bait and catch dates. This is a new low for Blanche. This kind of scam is more Stanley than anyone.
Rose and Miles return from seeing the Glass Menagerie. Sadly, Rose didn’t realize it was a play. She thought it would be a seance and raising the dead. She says, “When you told me you were taking me to a revival of Tennessee Williams, I was expecting something more along the lines of a séance.”
Rose certainly marches to her own drummer. But the word revival has been used to speak about raising or communicating with the dead. It’s also used when something is done again that hasn’t been done in a while. In this case, it’s a play and the playwright is no longer alive.
Dorothy tells Sophia it’s time for her medication so that Mile and Rose can have some space. Sophia replies, “Oh, good. I thought my buzz was wearing off.”
While Rose and Miles talk they discuss his birthday tomorrow. His daughter Caroline is coming. They decide to have lunch at the house so everyone can get acquainted.
It’s the next day and Blanche is fretting over her outfit and potential car buyers. But Blanche’s car is old and so this makes no sense. It turns out she has rented a Mercedes Benz and is pretending to sell it to get some dates. She starts getting calls and setting appointments. Rose informs her Miles and his daughter Caroline are coming over for lunch. She doesn’t want this lunch messed up by Blanche’s scheme.
Blanche tries to calm her, “Don’t worry. Men will be over, but they’ll be in and out.” Sophia nearly chokes to death on that one.
Dorothy is shocked and tells her, “Blanche, aren’t you embarrassed, going through all this subterfuge to get a man?” She replies, “A man? I’m planning on getting a six-month supply!”
The first man arrives. Rose asks if it’s Miles. But it’s James. He says, “I can’t believe anything that beautiful is so cheap.” Sophia nearly dies again. It’s like he stole the words right out of her mouth.
The doorbell rings and this time it’s for Sophia. It’s a man with expensive watches. Dorothy demands to know where she got the money. She’s saved by the bell when Miles arrives with Caroline. Introductions don’t go smoothly. She asks about the instrument she plays and learns it’s an English Horn.
Rose responds, “ I didn’t know horns had nationalities. But I guess it makes sense. If jumping beans can be Mexican and fire drills can be Chinese and flies can be Spanish…”
Another man shows up about the car. Dorothy informs him she’s out on a test drive. He’s not happy. He responds “Blanche said I was gonna be the first.” But Sophia claps back with “She’s been using that line for 40 years.” before Dorothy can stop her.
Blanche comes back and the guy from the test drive wants to buy the car without waiting any longer. Blanche is not happy she wants to continue the test drives. She makes excuses to put the sale off. Sophia again comments about money. Dorothy questions her again and gets a surprise from Sophia. “The government has been kinder and gentler by sending me more social security checks than they used to.” Turns out she’s received over $150,000 in extra social security checks.
The lunch with Miles, Rose and Caroline is progressing. Miles is clearly enjoying himself but Caroline is acting a bit strange. They finish eating and Rose exits to get the birthday cake she made for Miles. The men are all fighting over the car, but not over Blanche. In the kitchen, Caroline begins a conversation with Rose. She tells her to stop seeing her father.
Blanche freaks out at all the guys that have come to see the car. “Now I’ve got three excited men out there – and for the first time in my life it seems like too many.”
Dorothy chides her for not thinking this through. Clearly, at least some would want to actually buy the car. But Blanche’s logic fails miserably on that too. “I assumed once they saw me, they’d forget all about the car.” She tries to steal Miles’s birthday cake to distract them, but Rose puts her foot down on that.
Rose tells the girls about what Caroline said and they are horrified at her behavior. Blanche responds, “I remember when we had to impress a man’s parents, not his children.”
Everyone needs help. Blanche wants Dorothy to fix the man problem and if she will then she will fix Rose’s problem with Caroline.
But Dorothy is stressed, “Now, just a minute. I have my own problems. I’m dealing with a mother who stole money from the government.”
Dorothy finally agrees. Blanche asks her to save three of the men for her.
Blanche comforts Rose about Miles by saying:
Blanche: Have you seen the way Miles looks when you tell those St. Olaf stories?
Rose: He looks like he’s listening.
Blanche: There you go!
Dorothy goes off to deal with Sophia first. She tells her story to play on her guilt.
Blanche heads out to the lanai to confront Carolone about her treachery. She asks Caroline, “Did you tell your daddy about your little talk with Rose?” She is reluctant to answer. But Blanche pushes and Caroline tells Miles that she told Rose it’s too soon for him to be dating.
Miles is furious at Caroline for gravely overstepping and interfering in his relationship. Blanche continues to rebuke Caroline and praise Rose at the same time. Rose comes out smelling like a rose while, Caroline looks like day old dog poop.
Dorothy finally takes charge of the men in the living room fighting over the car. She gets Sophia to help her. They are not happy when they realize they were tricked and storm off. Only one remains and he wants to date Dorothy not Blanche.
Miles speaks with Rose. He apologizes for Carolines insidious actions and tells her how he feels about her. He tries to cheer her up by telling her, “Caroline doesn’t know everything. You should see the cardigan she got me for my birthday. She can’t even pick out a sweater for me, much less a whole person.” The two lovebirds kiss.
Dorothy informs Blanche that no men want to date her but she’s going out with Thomas. Blanche is not happy. She lets them take the Mercedes and then calls it in stolen to ruin their evening.
Categories: The Golden Girls, TV Shows