Show: The Golden Girls
Title: Bedtime Story
Original Air Date: February 7, 1987
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* Blanche: You snore worse then a sailor passed out at an adult motel after a night of unbridled passion.
* Dorothy: Just turn up the heat, Ma.
Sophia: It’s already on 9, on 10 you can cook a Lean Cuisine.
* Rose: I’ve been tinkering with the heater, trying to get it to work.
Dorothy: Oh, Rose, you’re a genius.
Sophia: Boy, that’s a sentence you don’t hear every day.
* Blanche: Well it couldn’t be any worse than trying to sleep on a cold, hard bench in a railway station.
Sophia: Boy, you do it any place, don’t you, Blanche?
* Blanche: This is like The Twilight Zone where somehow we got on a train inside Rose’s mind.
Synopsis: Blanche can’t sleep and finds Sophia in the kitchen cooking. Rose made some chipped beef as well. Dorothy comes in the kitchen excited that her Uncle Vito is coming to visit. Rose tells her that her cousin Milo is also coming for the Hog Expo. They discuss how they will accommodate both guests. Sophia tells a story about a cold snap when the heat gave out. Everyone winds up sleeping with Sophia because she has an electric blanket. Rose tried to fix the heater but wound up turning on the air conditioner instead. Before Rose can sleep she says her prayers. Suddenly, a voice thanks her and tells her to go to bed. Blanche thinks it was Dorothy but she says it wasn’t. Blanche suddenly breaks into prayer. The story finishes and they eat. Blanche tells a story about Rose freaking out in a thunderstorm. Some men also escaped from prison. She wants to sleep with Blanche. Rose tells her about the St. Olaf slasher. He attacked scarecrows. They finally get in bed. Rose begs Blanche to tell her a story. It’s a crazy story about elephant dolls that Blanche ends with a scary ending. Rose runs and hides in the closet. Back in the kitchen, most of the food is eaten. Dorothy finally is forced to eat Rose’s chipped beef but the power goes out. It comes back on and it’s all gone. Sophia can barely lift her purse, Dorothy dumped it all in there. Dorothy changes the subject back to the house guests. Sophia tells the story of when Dorothy had bronchitis. While Sophia cares for her Dorothy she upsets Sophia. She apologizes and then tells her how she would make her feel better when she would be sick as a girl. Sophia has fallen asleep while Dorothy tells her a story. Back in the kitchen, Sophia says she was just resting her eyes that she heard every word. Then Blanche tells the story of when she went to a funeral with Rose and Dorothy. They got stuck at the train station because it left a half an hour early. The next train is not till 5:30am the next day. They try to sleep on the benches. A train pulls in that is a circus train. A bunch of clowns come in. Rose is excited. However, one of the clowns is mean to her. Back in the kitchen, Blanche talks about dating Floppo the Clown for a few months after that. Blanche decides they should all chip in and put up their family at the Holiday Inn. They all agree.