Show: The Golden Girls
Title: Joust Between Friends
Original Air Date: December 6, 1986
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* Sophia: Aren’t you a little old for imaginary friends?
* Blanche: Oh he likes me. He must be a male.
* Blanche: If he lifts his leg in the house, I’m rubbing your nose in it.
Rose: That seems fair.
* Sophia: I don’t know she gets away with it. If she was my age she’d be locked up in Shady Pines making boats out of popsicle sticks.
* Dorothy: I’ve had it. I’ve just had it. In the past few days I’ve been turned down for every available part time job that didn’t involve selling cocaine.
* Dorothy: Rose, the dog is drooling on my foot.
Rose: You say that like it’s a bad thing.
* Dorothy: Oh my God, I’ve just spilled my guts to someone who drinks out of a toilet.
* Dorothy: Rose, get me a doggy bone.
Rose: I don’t think you deserve one.
* Blanche: Please forgive me Dorothy. Please. Please. Please.
* Dorothy: Are you sure you’ll be able to act surprised at the banquet?
Blanche: Of course, I’ve pretended to be a virgin at least a dozen times.
* Rose: That’s dog love in your eyes.
Synopsis: Rose comes home from the store, but she has a dog with her. Sophia thinks she’s talking to herself. Blanche comes in and thinks the dog is cute, but says he can’t stay. She relents and lets her have the dog till she finds it’s owner. Dorothy comes home and is upset as she has not been able to get a part time job. She hears the dark barking and thinks its for dinner. Rose comes out with the dog and begs Dorothy to accept the dog. Dorothy finally relents and goes with Blanche to the museum. There is a job opening there that Blanche feels she’s perfect for. Blanche’s boss isn’t paying much attention. He’s too upset about getting caught with his best friends’ wife. He gives Dorothy the job. Back at the house, Dorothy is upset the dog is still there. It’s been a week now. The dog is a bit under the weather. Turns out Sophia gave the dog sherry. Rose tries to get Dorothy to calm down about it. Dorothy is getting ready to go in early when the phone rings. It’s Mr. Allan for Dorothy. Blanche is not happy. At the museum, Blanche brings Sophia in. She brought Dorothy’s lunch. Mr. Allan comes and Sophia is not impressed by him. Mr. Allan tells Blanche that he is putting Dorothy in charge of the banquet. Blanche is not happy. That night, the dog sneaks into Dorothy’s room and snuggles up to her. Dorothy thinks its her mother. She turns over and wraps her arm around the dog and gets upset. She tries to kick the dog out but he won’t move. She starts talking to the dog and tells him why she’s not a huge fan of dogs. She lost a dog and hasn’t moved on. Dorothy goes looking for Rose. She finds her in the kitchen and yells at her. Rose goes to retrieve the dog. Blanche comes in to the kitchen and is upset at Dorothy over the banquet. She has a fit at her. They have a full fledged fight. The next day at the museum Mr. Allan and Dorothy discuss the banquet. It’s being thrown in Blanche’s honor. Blanche picks another fight with Dorothy. Blanche begs Dorothy for her forgiveness, but Dorothy is hurt. The apology is accepted and all is forgiven for now. The peace doesn’t last long. Blanche flips out again. She quits in anger. That night Sophia and Dorothy are playing cards. Sophia doesn’t find it as fun as it usually is because Dorothy is not getting mad about losing. Sophia has had enough of Blanche acting like a crazy woman. She tells Blanche the banquet is in her honor. Blanche is mortified. Rose comes home and tells everyone she found the dogs owner. Dorothy is happy but then starts crying. Rose announces she stopped at the animal shelter and got several dogs. She opens the door and they al run in.