Show: The Golden Girls
Title: Ladies of the Evening
Original Air Date: October 4, 1986
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* Sophia: Not this time. I’m tired of being the Tonto of the group.
* Sophia: Fine, break an old lady’s heart. If you need me I’ll be out back with the rest of the garbage.
* Dorothy: She’ll get over it and if she doesn’t, who cares? We’re going to meet Burt Reynolds.
* Blanche: See that man over there, staring at me? He’s undressing me with his eyes.
Rose: Do you want to move to another table?
Blanche: Not yet, he’s only half done.
* Rose: Please don’t let them take me downtown! I want to live!! I want to live!!
* Rose: Oh sure it’s’ always a man with you. Men and sex, sex and men!
* Rose: I’ve kept these bitter butter memories far too long.
* Sophia: Arrested for prostitution? I can’t believe it.
* Sophia: I can’t believe these dumb cops would think anyone would pay money to sleep with you.
* Sophia: You’ll get over it and if you don’t, who cares!! I’m on my way to meet Burt Reynolds.
* Sophia: Oh Cinderella is back from the ball and her three wicked roommates are jealous?
* Sophia: Jealousy is a very ugly thing Dorothy and so are you in anything backless.
* Rose: I’ve never felt so good and so cheap in my whole life.
* Burt: Which ones the slut?
(all three): I am!!
Synopsis: The ladies are having an inspection done and learn that they have termites. Blanche walks in with tickets to see Burt Reynolds. However, Blanche could only get three tickets, so Sophia doesn’t get to go. As the girls are jumping up and down in excitement the exterminator comes back in and informs them they have termites. They have to move out because the house has to be tented. Blanche finds the girls a nice hotel on the beach. At the hotel, Sophia is trying to guilt Dorothy. Blanche comes in and tells a story about one of her many lovers. Sophia tries to trick Rose out of her ticket. They head downstairs to go meet Burt. However, Blanche wants to get a drink first. They sit in the bar and some men come over and hit on them. Before they can leave the police come in and arrest everyone. The place is full of “ladies of the night.” Rose has a complete meltdown at being arrested. Dorothy tries to tell the officer that they aren’t hookers, but he doesn’t believe her. In jail, no one is happy. Rose is more upset than before and Dorothy and Blanche try to comfort her. Blanche decides to try and use her wiles to get them out of jail, but the guard is a woman. Rose now yells at Blanche about it being her fault thanks to her over active sex drive. They all start fighting and then one of the other ladies gets aggressive. Dorothy steps up and pretends to be a man. It works thankfully and the others back off. They all apologize to each other. Rose tells a story about losing the Butter Queen title for many years in a row. Everyone in the holding cell comes over to listen as well. Blanche and Dorothy get irritated and leave her. One of the lady’s comes over and tells her she is from St. Gustav. Sophia comes down to bail them out. But there is a condition, one of them has to give her their ticket to meet Burt Reynolds. None will give up their ticket, so she grabs them out of Blanche’s hand and takes off with all three of them. Later at the house, Sophia is telling them stories of Burt Reynolds. Everyone is upset because they didn’t get to meet Burt Reynolds. Sophia heads to her room. The doorbell rings and its Meg. She is going back to St. Gustav. The doorbell rings again. When Dorothy opens the door its Burt Reynolds. He is taking Sophia to lunch. The girls drool. Sophia heads off with Burt as they all stand there in utter shock.