Show: The Golden Girls
Title: If at Last You Do Succeed
Season 6 Episode 3
Original Air Date: October 6, 1990
Favorite Quotes:
+Dorothy: Ma, I could’ve burned my lips! What are you doing?Sophia: My eyesight is going, so I like a prank I can hear.
+Blanche: I don’t want to have to deal with 400 people in Simpsons T-shirts trying to knock 25 cents off your “I lost my ass in Vegas” cup.
+Blanche: Good God, what do you have in those boxes?
Rose: As we say in St. Olaf, “crapola in a box.”
+Dorothy: I’m sorry, Stan. There are other vegetables I’d rather go out with.
+Rose: No one expects trouble from a cow. The plan was, we would drop these highly trained killer cows behind the enemy lines. It wasn’t till they were airborne that we realized a cow can’t pull a ripcord. Well, the project wasn’t a total failure. If there’s one thing the Germans hate, it’s a mess.
+Blanche: I paid for these fair and square. You said yourself, all deals are final.
Rose: Charlie would want me to have them.
Blanche: George would want me to keep ’em. Don’t try that with me, Rose Nylund. I’ll match you dead husband for dead husband.
+Dorothy: One beer. One beer in high school, and my life is ruined. He’s trying to buy my love. He’s trying to buy my kid’s love. If I had a dollar for every time Stan has screwed up our lives…
+Dorothy: Stan, I am not driving around with license plates that say “POTHEAD.”
Stan: It’s an abbreviation. I didn’t have room for the whole “potato head.”
Dorothy: I don’t want your car.
+Stan: Yes, I screwed up our marriage. We all know that. But I wasn’t a yutz for all of those years. There were some good times before things went wrong.
Dorothy: Until I found out about them.
Stan: Old news, Dorothy. This time I came up a winner.
+Dorothy: Oh, come on, honey, you’re getting worked up over nothing. I mean, Blanche is petty and selfish, but I don’t think she would actually bankrupt a whole town.
+Dorothy: We may not always get along, but we’ve always been there when we’ve needed each other. Now, look. This is important to Rose, and I think we need to stand behind her. I mean, you’re taking away a part of her, her home. Granted, it’s the cradle of idiocy.
Summary:
Sophia plays a prank on Dorothy. Blanche asks about a painting out on the lawn. Rose is having a yard sale. Blanche is not happy. She buys the junk instead to keep the weirdos away. Sophia plays the same prank on her as she did on Dorothy. Stan arrives. He’s created something and it’s a success. It’s a baked potato opener. He puts an infomercial on so they can see his product. He’s sold more than half a million at this point. He has come over to ask Dorothy for some help. He wants her to be his date for a reception of Japanese investors. The next day in the kitchen, Blanche goes through all of the stuff she bought from Rose. She found St. Olaf war bonds. They were sold to fund attack cows. There are 50 bonds worth $1,000 each. They go toe to toe with dead husbands trying to take ownership of the bonds. Stan hasn’t given up on Dorothy and the reception. He sent her a kimono. She’s angry. She is not interested in being bought. The bonds have not been solved. They all vote but still no decision is made about who gets the money. Stan stops by again. He brought a Game Boy for Sophia. Dorothy is not happy about all these gifts. She tries to speak to Stan about it, but he’s bought her a brand new car. She gets even angrier and refuses the car. He apologizes for past mistakes but Dorothy doesn’t care. Sophia wants to keep the car. Another day in the kitchen, Blanche and Rose discuss the war bonds again. St. Olaf will be bankrupt if they cash out the bonds. Meanwhile, Dorothy is shocked that Stan found a backbone. The four of them discuss Stan and what he did and who he used to be. Rose tells a St. Olaf story. Rose is upset because she forgot about the bonds. Blanche comes in wearing four different diamond rings. Dorothy tries to remind Blanche that they are family and St. Olat is important to Rose. She decides not to cash the bonds. She rips them up. Rose informs her that St. Olaf is going to build a statue in her honor. They have an emergency statue fund of $500,000. Blanche is shocked as is Dorothy. Stanley comes by before the reception. He needs help with his tie. Dorothy finally decides to go to the reception with him. Blanche explains to Rose about how they could pay the bonds from the statue fund. Rose tries to reach St. Olaf but it’s “Everybody Hide The Corn” day. Dorothy comes back from the reception. It went well.
Categories: The Golden Girls, TV Shows