Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 3 Episode: 2
Title: One for The Money
Original Air Date: September 26, 1987
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Favorite Quotes:* Sophia: Would you buy this water?
Blanche: Sure, why not?
Sophia: We’re rich! We’re rich! It comes from the house out back. Move over Perrier, Petrillo Water is on the way.
* Blanche: What did Ramon do?
Priscilla: He slept with my best friend.
Dorothy: We’re going to eat chicken for the rest of our lives.
* Sophia: Listen, be grateful he got it out of his system before the marriage. It’ll give you something to make him feel guilty about. Most women go through three, four years of marriage before they get ammunition like that.
* Sophia: Stan lost his job? I told you that yutz is a deadbeat.
* Sophia: His job he could afford to lose, a novelty salesman. The novelty would be if he made a sale.
* Dorothy: Ma, TV is not a fad otherwise Swanson would have called those radio dinners.
* Blanche: Don’t be silly. I love you as much as I could love any dry cleaner.
* Blanche: Dorothy please. I think I have a little more endurance than you. Dorothy: Blanche, we are not dancing on our backs.
* Dorothy: You just implied I’m an old lady.
Blanche: Oh well honey, I didn’t mean to imply it, I meant to say it flat out.
* Rose: When I was younger, I was known as the dancing fool.
Dorothy: How old were you when they dropped the dancing part?
* Dorothy: Foul! Foul! Send a judge over here. That woman is trying to put us to sleep.
Dorothy comes home with pizza. Sophia brings something in for them to try. It’s water from the hose in the backyard. Dorothy is not happy. Her mother has too many get rich quick schemes, and they all fail. Then Sophia reminds them of when they started a catering business. They are making food for a wedding. They are stuffing and baking a bunch of chickens. Rose sings a work song. It starts off well but then Rose goes off the rails. The doorbell rings. Blanche is worried because it’s 3am. They all head to the front door, but finally Dorothy opens it. It’s the bride. She is cancelling the wedding because her finance cheated on her. The phone rings and it’s Ramon. Everyone but Rose tries to keep the wedding on so they can make a buck. But apparently, Rose cares more about the money too. Priscilla gets on the phone. However, they are not waiting till the wedding tomorrow, they are eloping to Las Vegas. Dorothy then gives her a “wedding gift.” Dorothy then picks up the phone and calls the police to report a robbery. Back in the kitchen, Blanche points out that was an actual business not a get rich quick scheme. It turns out Sophia wants to buy a TV for her bedroom. She wants to see the final episode of MASH. But Blanche tells her MASH ended a while ago. Dorothy asks Sophia if she remembers another time she was saving for a TV. It was back in 1954. She has taken up sewing on the side to make extra money. Dorothy comes over by herself. She asks Sophia if she can watch the kids two days a week so she can get a part time job. Sophia thinks Stan lost his job. He didn’t. Sal jumps in and defends novelty sales. Dorothy tells her she wants to make some extra money to buy a tv set. Sophia protests. Dorothy is upset. She tells her mother she will leave the kids with Stan’s mother instead. Then the truth comes out. Sophia is doing extra work to get Dorothy and Stan a TV for their 10th anniversary. Dorothy tells her that she wanted the job to buy her father a TV. They agree to buy each other a TV. Back in the kitchen, they get down to the last piece of pizza. Sophia takes it and then throws it away. She then reminds them about the dance marathon. Blanche tells the story. The winner of the dance marathon gets $1,000. Blanche is there with a dry cleaner. Dorothy arrives with a date for the competition. The two get a little competitive and the trash talking starts. Rose shows up with a partner while the two are still fighting. Rose warns them they are wasting their time. The two then attack her. Blanche has the first trouble in the contest, her partner has twisted his ankle and wants to quit. She whispers something in his ear, and he is suddenly up to the task again. Seven hours in Rose starts to tell a St. Olaf story. Dorothy screams foul. Rose and Dorothy fight. Dorothy asks for something lively. She leads a solo dance. Then Blanche cuts in. Rose then asks if she can try. She tells her partner she will do it by herself, so he doesn’t get hurt. She then does some fancy moves followed by a bunch of cartwheels. She leaves blanche and Dorothy speechless and horrified. They enter hour 13 and only 4 couples are left. Someone gets carted off on a stretcher. A tango begins. Blanche’s partner quits on her and leaves Blanche by herself. She has just one minute to find a new partner. Blanche makes an x-rated offer to a man still dancing to get a new partner. Dorothy’s partner exits with a Charley horse in his leg. Rose’s partner runs when his wife walks in. Blanche and her new partner are declared the winner but another couple reenters. It’s Rose and Dorothy. Blanche stands there, indignant with her hands on her hips. In the kitchen Blanche gloats that they were both disqualified, and she won. Sophia asks if she is cute. Dorothy asks her if she would rather buy pasta sauce with her picture on it or Paul Newman’s to end her thought process.
Categories: The Golden Girls