Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 2 Episode: 24
Title: To Catch a Neighbor
Original Air Date: May 2, 1987
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* Det. Mullins: We’d like to set up shop here.
Blanche: Well of course. You can both stay in my room.
* Dorothy: Now wait just a minute.
Blanche: Ok you can have the boy.
* Blanche: Well what’s there to be afraid of Dorothy? Once you strip away the gruff exterior, the badge, the gun, the uniform.
Dorothy: You’ve got a naked policeman.
* Sophia: Hey, you dumb baciagaloop. Your face looks like the rear end of a donkey.
* Dorothy: Oh God I’m crazy nuts about this guy.
* Rose: I’ll do it. I’ll be the plant.
Sophia: You are the plant.
Dorothy: Rose, honey, you don’t do too well under pressure.
* Sophia: Excuse me. It’s only 4am. Why don’t you get a rubber hose and whack me around until I’m razor sharp.
* Sophia: Now get some rest pussycat, tomorrow could be your last day.
* Rose: They keep talking about that noodle head in the red dress could that be code language?
Dorothy: Only to the noodle head in the red dress.
The girls have their new neighbors over. Sophia kicks them out. She slams the door as they leave. Dorothy tells her her behavior is horrible. Everyone but Sophia likes the new neighbors. Rose tells them she use to run the town welcome wagon back home. She then describes how they would welcome a new neighbor. The doorbell rings and Blanche asks Sophia to get it. She grudgingly does. He tells her she should not open the door without finding out who it is first. Dorothy takes over. It’s two police officers, one is a detective. Blanche decides to answer questions by offering some suggestive information about herself. Det. Mullins asks them about their neighbors as they are stolen gems dealers. He informs them that the neighbors will be making a major deal in the next three days and would like to set up their stake out at their house. Blanche agrees quickly but Dorothy is furious and says no. They have a meeting in the kitchen. Blanche pleads her case. She wants the policemen there and hopes to have some kind of relationship with them. Rose points out it is a serious situation and they should help. She then tells a story about her father being a volunteer police man. Both Dorothy and Sophia still say now while Blanche and Rose say yes. They finally come to an agreement and allow the officers to stay there. Det. Mullins is set up at the kitchen table. Sophia is happily harassing him while he is wearing the headphones. Blanches comes in. Sophia demonstrates. Blanche doesn’t find it funny. She points out that Mullins is practically Dorothy’s boyfriend. Blanche goes on a tanget and gets all worked up. She sprays herself down. Dorothy enters the kitchen and starts a fight with Mullins. Blanche defends him. He starts talking, he can hear them. He just pretends he can’t because Sophia enjoys calling him names. Rose comes in and tells them that she saw the McDowell’s in the store and wrote down everything they bought. He decides to go out and smoke. He wants Dorothy to go with him. The two argue again. He leaves and Dorothy admits she is crazy about him. Another day, Rose answers the door and it’s Martha McDowell. Rose can only squeak. Blanche and Dorothy have to cover for Rose’s squeaks. Mrs. McDowell invites them to dinner the next evening. Before she leaves the two officers (not in uniform, thankfully) exit the kitchen and enter the living room. She introduces herself. Sophia covers saying it’s her son and grandson on a fishing trip. She heads out and just asks them to let her know about dinner. The two officers argue about the ladies planting a bug. Mullins thinks its too dangerous. Dorothy tries to remind Rose she does not do well under pressure. They all start discussing who should plant the bug. Dorothy says she should do it as she is the best under pressure. That night, Dorothy is having trouble sleeping. Sophia asks her what’s wrong. They wind up arguing. Dorothy admits she is worried about tomorrow and unsure if she should go on her mission. Sophia tells her this is one thing she can’t help her with. Sophia thinks she’s doing it to land Al (Mullins). Sophia has no story to help her this time and is not happy about it. She still comes up with some advice though. The next evening, Rose is looking through the TV Guide trying to find something to stay home and watch instead of going to the McDowells. The officers come into the living room to go over the plan with them. Rose is going to tell a St. Olaf story. Al tells Dorothy how to deploy the bug. Sophia decides to join them in case they blow it and need help. The ladies leave and Bobby confirms the transmitter is working. They arrive back very excited. Mullins tells them this bug will hopefully give them enough in the next few hours for a warrant. Everyone goes to bed except Dorothy and Al. He tells her she did a nice job. He’s trying to ask her out, but Sophia shouts it though the door. Blanche takes Bobby some extra towels. He thanks her. She tells him he reminds her of her son, Matthew. He asks if he can stop by sometime. She agrees and then tells him lights out. Later that night, Al is drinking coffee and listening to the wire. The exchange is happening. Al yells for Bobby and tells the ladies to get on the floor and stay down. They are all afraid. Suddenly, there are gunshots. Al runs in. He calls for an ambulance and back up, Bobby has been shot. In the hospital, Bobby tells the story to the ladies of his shooting. Al brings in a wheelchair for Bobby. He tells everyone the McDowells have been arraigned and are going to jail for a long time. Sophia volunteers to push Bobby. Dorothy is left with Al again. He asks her out on a date. This time she refuses because he could be killed on the job. Sophia comes in with a doctor for Dorothy. She’s not amused.