Original Air Date: March 14, 1987
* Mario: Why do I have to learn algebra?
Dorothy: Because I had to learn how to teach it.
* Rose: I don’t think at your age you need to worry about wrinkles.
Sophia: Who’s talking about wrinkles? I can’t get up, my butt is stuck to the chair.
* Sophia: Dorothy, if I’m lucky enough to live to be 100 make me a promise.
Dorothy: I promise, Ma, no surprise party.
Sophia: No, promise me we can get our own apartment, these two are making me crazy.
* Dorothy: I read a story once that said that in America you always feel like you’re among friends. What do you think?
* Blanche: Right now I have to go pour on some Southern charm, and if that doesn’t work I might have to eat a little Yankee crow.
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Rose comes home and comments on how dressed up Sophia is. The president is in town and she and her friends want to go meet his wife. But she is confused about who the president is actually married too. Blanche comes out in a new red dress asking how she looks. Rose comments on how risqué her outfit is. Blanche asks her about the earrings she borrowed last week and she says she returned them. Blanche tells her she didn’t that she’s lost a lot of things including: the tickets to the Julio Iglesias concert, two sets of house keys, and her car at the airport. Blanche runs into the kitchen. Dorothy is tutoring Mario. Dorothy starts telling Blanche about a story Mario wrote for his English class and how good it is. Dorothy wants to read it, but she has to read the whole thing. Rose comes in the kitchen and offers Mario a snack, but the snack makes him run to the bus stop. Dorothy considers submitting his story to the district contest. It’s then brought up that Blanche’s earrings are missing. Rose couldn’t find them, but she did find the Julio Iglesias tickets though. Blanche rubs salt in the wound to Rose. Rose decides to be Blanche’s personal servant for a week. It’s how her family makes up for mistakes. She then tells a St. Olaf story. Blanche makes a run for her date. Dorothy decides to ask what happened to the leg of the character in her story. But she regrets it. Rose, Sophia and Blanche are relaxing in lounge chairs on the lanai. Sophia complains that her butt is stuck. Blanche offers to help her up. Rose jumps up and says she’ll do it. They both then drop Sophia back in the chair. The two then argue. Dorothy rushes out on the lanai and tells them Mario’s story won first place in the contest. Rose tells another story about how her grandmother died. Dorothy wants to plan the party for Mario. Dorothy agrees. Then Blanche tells Rose to plan the party. It’s the day of the party. Dorothy comments about Blanche giving Rose all kinds of things to do. Dorothy checks the paper as there is an article. There is a picture with her in it and its not a good one. Rose thinks she hears Mario in the kitchen. The three yell surprise when the kitchen door opens but it’s Sophia and they nearly scare her to death. Mario arrives and is surprised by the celebration. However, the doorbell rings. It’s a little man in a suit with a badge from immigration. He tells Dorothy that Mario is there illegally and he has to come with him. Dorothy is shocked. That night the three girls are in the kitchen. Blanche tells a story about a horse thief on their farm. He had him hauled to court so Blanche could testify. Dorothy gets annoyed by her story. The phone rings. It’s for Dorothy. Mario has run away. She can only think of one place he’d go, the girls volunteer to go with her. Dorothy finds Mario and tries to talk to him. Dorothy screams at the violence in the movie. She goes back to trying to talk sense in him. He says he’ll go if she will go to. Blanche is not ready to leave yet. She’s captivated by the movie. Dorothy and Blanche wait for Mario to arrive. They are both worried about Mario. The doorbell rings. It’s a friend of Blanche’s. He has Blanche’s earrings. He also has a watch. Rose is not happy. She calls for Blanche. Rose is furious because she’s been her personal servant all week, even though it’s Blanche who lost the items. She heads into the kitchen after Rose to try and make up with her. The doorbell rings and it’s Mario. Its bad news, he’s going back. Dorothy wants to fight. He has to go tomorrow. She’ll do what she can to get him back. Before he leaves, she gives him a hug. In the kitchen, Blanche is not getting back on Rose’s good side. Dorothy joins them and tells them what happened. They give her a group hug. Rose tells her to get into bed and she’ll bring her some snacks and move the tv. Dorothy exits and Rose tells Blanche to get cracking.
Categories: The Golden Girls