Show: The Golden Girls
Title: Long Day’s Journey into Marinara
Original Air Date: February 21, 1987
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* Blanche: You really like Tony a lot don’t you Sophia?
Sophia: Why shouldn’t I? He’s the best catch in town. He’s got his own hair, his own teeth, and a totally unrestricted driver’s license. Hey, at my age that’s like dating Tom Cruise.
* Dorothy: Rose, the woman keeps a chicken in her house. How normal can she be?
Rose: I kept a chicken in my home.
Dorothy: You see my point.
* Dorothy: Aunt Angela!!
Aunt Angela: No, Sophia Loren, I stopped using Oil of Olay.
* Angela: Do you want to come back to Sicily?
Sophia: Do I look like a woman who beats her laundry on a rock?
* Sophia: Yeah, Miami the city not Miami my house.
* Sophia: Anymore bright ideas, linguine for brains?
* Blanche: Rose, honey, you’ve got to stop torturing yourself like this. Now Count Bessie is gone.
Rose: I know. It’s just such a tragedy. Who cooks a musician at the height of her career?
* Dorothy: Rose, do you know offhand if 911 is the right number to call for a straight jacket?
* Sophia: I’m going over there to kill her. I’ll be back in time for Wheel of Fortune.
* Angela: You think I know how to kill a live chicken? What do I look like, Conan the Barbarian?
Synopsis: Dorothy and Blanche were watching the Nightly News with Tom Brokaw. Blanche was not paying attention though because she was busy picturing Tom Brokaw with less clothing. Sophia and Tony come back with a trophy for the dance contest. They won in the over 80 category because they were the only couple who could do the mambo without walkers. He leaves and she goes to give him a good night kiss on the cheek. Blanche asks her about Tony and she tells them all about him. Rose comes in from the kitchen and goes straight to the hall. She’s carrying a cage with a chicken. It belongs to one of the people at her counseling center. They don’t want the chicken in the house. Rose explains she’s a show biz chicken who plays the piano. Rose brings out her piano and then takes the chicken out her cage and puts her at the piano. She plays a song. Sophia feels strongly that she has to ask if Rose really works at a counseling center. The doorbell rings. Dorothy opens it to find Aunt Angela. Sophia gives Angela a hug and then asks what’s wrong because she traveled 5,000 miles. Angela tells them she took a vacation to come and visit Sophia. Rose joins them and starts telling a St. Olaf story. Everyone begins to look pained. Angela interrupts and says she could use a nap after all. The rest follow. Rose however informs them that she is telling them the rest of the story as soon as they wake up. Angela cooked dinner that night. Blanche raves over how good it is. But Rose made desert, and everyone is unhappy. Blanche asks if she and Angela have had a chance to catch up. Angela tells them everyone is dead and she has a goat. They invite Angela to move back to the states. She doesn’t know if she wants to move to a strange country, but she lived in the US for 30 years. She finally agrees to stay. Dorothy says they can just send for her things so she doesn’t have to fly back to Sicily and back. Sophia is not happy with this and pulls Dorothy out of the room. She is furious. She wanted her to move to Miami but not move into their house. Dorothy is confused. Sophia tells her she always wants everything that Sophia has. Moments later, Angela bursts out of the kitchen with her name on tape to attach to the mail box. Dorothy looks shocked. Rose comes out of the kitchen with a snack, but goes back in the kitchen. Turns out the snack is chicken chow. Dorothy spits out what she put in her mouth. Sophia is angry because Angela has been there for three weeks and used up all her Porcelana. Dorothy informs Sophia Angela is out looking for a place with Blanche. Sophia lists her standard apartment complaints. The two come back and Angela gives the same three reasons Sophia gave. Angela then tells them she made dinner. She made chicken. Rose comes in the kitchen and tells them Count Bessie is missing. All three are holding fried chicken. Dorothy asks Angela where she got the chicken and responds with the garage. They all assume she killed and cooked Count Bessie. Later, Blanche tries to snap Rose out of it. Dorothy comes in too to check on Rose. Dorothy tells her she’ll feel better in a few days. But that is when the chicken’s owner is returning. Dorothy tries to build up Count Bessie’s accomplishments. She storms out of the kitchen and runs into Angela. Angela tells them she is moving. She found a room through the senior center. Her new roommate is going to come and help her move her stuff. Sophia storms into the living room angry about Angela taking her pearl necklace. Sophia is told that Angela found an apartment. Sophia wants to call a truce. The doorbell rings and it’s Tony. Turns out Sophia’s boyfriend is now Angela’s roommate. The truce is over and the fight begins. It’s another day and Rose has a collection of chickens. She’s trying to teach one to play the piano. Dorothy comes in the front door. Dorothy feels that Rose needs some mental help. She is also a bit horrified that Rose can explain. The three all move to the kitchen. They discuss the competitiveness of sisters. Blanche tells a story about her and Virginia. She seduced Virginia’s boyfriend on the night of senior prom. Sophia tells them she is going to Tony’s to kill Angela. Sophia knocks on Tony’s door while shouting at her. Angela opens the door. Angela says she’s been out shopping all day. They start fighting again. Tony comes out in his bathrobe as well. Sophia starts giving him a tongue lashing. He’s trying to calm her down when another woman comes out of his room. He tells them she’s the cleaning lady. She gets mad. Sophia and Angela start hitting Tony with their purses. In the kitchen, the sisters tell the ladies what happened. They are shocked that they beat him with their purses. Rose points out that one good thing came out of it, that Sophia and Angela aren’t fighting. Sophia then gives her the pearl necklace as an apology. Suddenly, the chicken’s piano starts playing. They all run into the living room. Count Bessie has returned. Dorothy asks Angela again where she got the chicken. She got it out of the freezer not the cage. She does not know how to kill a live chicken. Angela needs to find another place. Dorothy insists she stay there. Neither Angela or Sophia want that and both ask to speak with her.