Show: The Golden Girls
Title: Before and After
Original Air Date: January 24, 1987
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* Sophia: Forgive me sweetheart, why don’t you just get me a litter box to keep next to my nightstand.
* Sophia: I’ll be honest, if anything happened to Rose it would be like losing one of my own children.
* Dorothy: Of course, Blanche. They were all buying t shirts that say, “Today is the first day of the end of your life.”
* Sophia: Don’t get smart with me. If I was a short, bald man spouting this gibberish I’d be running India.
* Dorothy: Ma, what’s the point?
Sophia: With a story you get a point, an anecdote is pure entertainment.
Synopsis: Rose is baking a wedding cake. Dorothy storms into the kitchen upset that Sophia woke her up banging the toilet seat. She finally calms down and sits at the table. Blanche comes in and tells them her date was a dud. Blanche sees the cake and wants to eat it. Rose tells her how much stuff she still needs to do. Dorothy tells her that much work is insane and she needs to learn to say no. Rose goes in the living room and suddenly the girls hear her scream and fall. The three are freaking out in the waiting room. Sophia tells them they don’t have anything to worry about for now. She’s got a set of warning signs she goes over with them. The doctor comes out to talk to them. He tells them she ok. She had an esophageal spasm, but she will be fine. Rose tells the girls she died and went to heaven. Dorothy tells her she passed out and hallucinated. She describes the dream. It was a large train station full of people. The information desk train schedule listed each train as destination heaven. Then she heard her uncle calling, he died when she was nine. He looked at her ticket and told her it’s round trip, she can go back to living. She decides to live life for herself. Days later, the phone rings in the middle of the night. It wakes Dorothy and she is not amused. Blanche and Sophia are also woken up. They all talk in the living room and complain and Rose’s new life. Rose finally comes in. She invites the girls to come with her and her friends for a sunrise breakfast. They tell her no. Then they confront her about her new lifestyle. Rose decides to move out. The next morning, Sophia comes in excited that her cousin is hanging wallpaper at Tony Bennett’s. Dorothy and Blanche are both upset about Rose moving out. Rose then enters to say her goodbyes. Rose is not settling in well with her new roommates. One doesn’t even know her name. The other doesn’t know either of their names. Stephanie tells her Rose that they don’t actually know much about each other, they do their own thing. Rose starts telling a story and Stephanie gets up and leaves. She’s a bit upset now as she has also lost touch with her new beach friends. At the house, Blanche comes in with several bags of stuff she bought to cheer them up. She only gives Dorothy one thing, edible panties. Sophia tells a story about two old guys that go streaking. Dorothy is not amused. Sophia decides to give them a point without a story. She tells them if they miss her go tell her, maybe she misses them too. Rose gets back to her apartment and points out that it’s the first time they’ve all been home at once. She offers to cook for them all but they both have plans. As they leave, Dorothy and Blanche are at the door. Rose pretends that everything is working out. So they make their exit. She calls the front desk and he confirms the girls have left. Rose sits in her chair and just looks so sad. At the house, Blanche is upset because she hasn’t got a date. Rose comes in the back door and stands quietly. She suggests they do what they normally do. They all run around to get the ice cream and their fixings. Rose asks if anything interesting happened while she was gone. She wants to come back. Blanche tells a story about Tony Bennett. She starts with Sophia’s catchphrase of “picture this.”