Show: The Golden Girls
Title: The Sisters
Original Air Date: January 3, 1987
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* Dorothy: Ma, if you want better presents adopt Monty Hall.
* Dorothy: I’m flying Ma’s sister Angela in from Sicily.
Rose: And she’s bringing the surprise?
Blanche: Rose, she is the surprise.
* Dorothy: Ma, get away from the back door!
* Angela: I never travel with luggage ever since I found a dead man in my suitcase.
* Dorothy: Aunt Angela you made that up.
Angela: Hey, I’m 80 as long as I’m talking I know my heart is still beating.
* Angela: Blanche could be a double for your cousin Abalonia. She was a beautiful woman, except for that huge donkey butt.
* Sophia: Happy birthday? You call this old bag a present?
Angela: You brought me all the way from Sicily to be insulted?
* Dorothy: Remember we are dealing with two old women who think boils on a man is a sign of virility. I mean logic doesn’t exactly apply here.
* Dorothy: Do it for your favorite niece.
Angela: What’s your cousin Gratziella got to do with this?
* Sophia: You’re nothing but a backstabbing Judas in sensible shoes.
Angela: Oh yeah? Well you know what you are? A two lira tramp with cheap bridgework.
* Sophia: May you put your dentures in upside down and chew your head off.
Angela: May your legs grow old and withered and knarled like an olive branch. You should be so lucky.
* Sophia: May your moles grow hair thicker than Jerry Vales!
Angela: May your marinara sauce never cling to your pasta!
* Dorothy: Aunt Angela you don’t have to go.
Angela: Thank you Dorothy but I hate your mother.
Synopsis: Dorothy comes home to find her mother sitting in the dark. She thinks she is upset because her birthday is coming. But Sophia quips its because Dorothy gives her such bad presents. Dorothy insists that she will love her present this year. She goes in the kitchen and she and the girls talk about Sophia’s party and gift. Rose is upset because she doesn’t know what the surprise gift for Sophia is and Blanche does. Rose had trouble keeping a secret and that’s why she has not been told. However, Dorothy needs Rose’s help with the surprise and is going to tell her. First, though, she goes to kitchen door and slightly opens it. Sophia yells and Dorothy knows she was eavesdropping on their conversation to try and learn what her gift is. Once she knows Sophia is no longer listening Dorothy tells Rose that she is flying Sophia’s sister Angela over from Sicily. Rose doesn’t realize that Angela is the surprise gift, so Blanche has to explain. Sophia tries to eavesdrop again but Dorothy catches her. Sophia then tries to find out who knows the secret. Once she finds out that Rose knows the secret she decides to zero in on her to try and get the surprise out of her. It’s now the day of the party and Sophia is being difficult to get out of the house. She tries to play a trick on Rose by telling her she got a bad diagnose at the doctors but Blanche steps in and stops her. She finally gives in to go but then she makes a stop in the kitchen and makes another attempt to break Rose. She almost gets Rose to tell her when Dorothy walks in and stops her. She kicks them both out. Aunt Angela is now at the house. When Blanche asks about her luggage but she doesn’t have any. During one trip a dead man wound up in her luggage and ever since she just can’t risk it. She became friends with a midget on a boat trip. By the end of the trip he was dead and stuffed in her suitcase. Dorothy accuses her of lying, that that never happened. They head in the kitchen as Sophia comes back in. She tries to go in the kitchen but Dorothy stops her in her tracks. She gets her back out of the house as Angela comes back in the living room. It’s now party time. Sophia keeps demanding her present. Sophia tries to trick Rose again. Rose asks Dorothy about what Sophia said. Dorothy gives in and decides to give her the present already. Blanche comes out of the kitchen with Angela. Sophia is not happy and the two sisters get into a fight and storm off. Later, Dorothy tries to get them to talk and no one will. Blanche thinks its jealousy that has come between the two. Blanche tells a story about jealousy that involves her sister. It’s about a cheerleading competition between her and her sister for captain of the team. Her sister was clearly better but she wore some very sexy underwear and became captain instead. Rose has a better plan, find out what they are upset over and make them talk it out. They split up, Dorothy goes to talk to Angela while Blanche and Rose go to talk to Sophia. Dorothy asks Angela directly what the problem is. She tells her about a Christmas party in 1955. There was mistletoe at the party. Her husband Carmine walked under it and she says Sophia planted a major kiss on her husband. Dorothy begs her to talk to Sophia. In Sophia’s room, Blanche and Rose can’t get Sophia to talk. Rose starts a St. Olaf story and that breaks Sophia. She tells them what happened. It’s also the Christmas party of 1955. She tells them that when she went upstairs to get an antiacid and is groped by Salvatore. It’s not her husband but a neighborhood heart throb. She tells Angela in the kitchen what happened and then suddenly everyone knows. She thinks Angela told everyone. Dorothy and Angela enter Sophia’s room. It’s a tense situation. They finally say hello. The conversation quickly deteriorates into insults. The fight quickly escalates to horrific insults and curses and Angela storms out of the room. Sophia gives chase to Angela. The next day Angela is leaving. Sophia comes out and continues the fight. Dorothy finally gives up. But before she does she yanks them together and gives them a beautiful speech and throws in what Angela told her what happened at the party. Sophia immediately tells her she never kissed her husband Carmine at the party. Angela describes what she was wearing, but Sophia tells her she lent that shawl to Maria. Maria was the one who kissed Carmine. Then Sophia tells her what she did that upset her. Angela tells her they weren’t alone in the kitchen someone was drunk under the table in the kitchen and he told everyone. Neither sister betrayed the other. Now they make up and hug.