Show: The Golden Girls
Title: On Golden Girls
Original Air Date: October 26, 1985
Billy Jayne: David (as Billy Jacoby)
John Hostetter: The Policeman
Karl Wiedergott: Boy #1
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Amazon The Golden Girls: Season 1
* Dorothy: Blanche we go through this every morning. Now admit it, you have cellulite.
* Dorothy: Ma, what are you doing? I can’t study with the noise.
Sophia: Fine, I’ll stop breathing.
* Dorothy: What is this the curse of the cat woman?
Sophia: I’m a mother I know these things.
* Blanche: Is that all you Italians know how to do is scream and hit?
Sophia: No, we also know how to make love and sing opera.
* Rose: Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.
Dorothy: God, I wish I’d said that.
* Dorothy: What did you people do, run a farm for handicapped animals?
* Rose: Did they have chores in Sicily?
Sophia: Are you kidding? They invented chores in Sicily. Crossing the street without getting pregnant was a chore in Sicely.
* Dorothy: My mother really likes you. She doesn’t hit anyone unless she cares. Take it from me.
* Blanche: All right now attention everyone. I want to propose a toast: To Dorothy, who got an A in her French class, proving that you can teach an old dog new tricks.
Sophia: And if anyone knows about tricks.
* Sophia: Jane Goodall once taught an ape to rumba, that’s impressive.
* Dorothy: Ma, I do not snore.
Sophia: Please I had to turn you away from the window so you wouldn’t inhale the drapes.
Synopsis: Blanche comes into the kitchen upset. Her daughter Janet is going away with her husband and her grandson will be staying with them for two weeks. Dorothy gets upset because she has a French final she needs to study for. Sophia calls her out and tells her you do for family. Sophia is not happy that she will have to share a room with Dorothy for two weeks. Rose makes him a snack for his arrival that sounds more like several days worth of meals. Blanche comes back from the airport without him. He’s missing. The doorbell rings and it’s David with an officer. Blanche makes a pass at him while thanking him. They introduce themselves but all he does is insult them. Then he blows off Blanche quite rudely and takes off. Rose starts telling a St. Olaf story, but Dorothy stops her and tells her instead to tell David and that can be his punishment. Dorothy is studying for her test, but she’s upset and fixated on getting an A. Once everyone is finally asleep they are loudly and rudely awakened by music blasting. David has brought friends back to the house and they are having a party. They all come rushing out of their rooms. Blanche turns off the music. Dorothy insists that the party end and David’s new friends leave. He’s just rude and ignores them. Dorothy gets mad and forcibly kicks all his friends out. David gets incensed. He gets in Dorothy’s face and Sophia has had enough, she slaps him. David storms off to the lanai and Blanche is upset. Blanche checks on David on the lanai. He’s upset and wants to go home. He opens up to Blanche that his parents fight constantly and he feels as if he doesn’t exist. The next day they make up a chore list for David to do. Blanche is not sure about the chores, but Dorothy says it will give him structure. Later that night David tries to sneak out and run away but Dorothy catches him. He complains that his life is crap. She talks to him and he decides to stay. Days later they are all out on the lanai celebrating Dorothy’s A in her French class. Dorothy also makes a toast to David. He thanks them all and then surprises them by saying he’d like to live there full time. Blanche calls his mother and tells her she wants to keep David. Janet is upset and immediately sends for David to join them. David says his goodbyes to everyone.