The Golden Girls S03, Ep04 – The Housekeeper

Show: The Golden Girls

Season: 3 Episode: 4

Title: The Housekeeper

Original Air Date: October 17, 1987

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Favorite Quotes:

* Blanche: I wonder what it is she gave me.
Rose: I bet it’s a love potion.

* Blanche: I don’t care what it is, I’ll do anything to get Norman’s attention.
Dorothy: If you get Norman’s attention it won’t be because of what’s in that bottle, but if it does, I’ll sell my Mother for an ounce.

* Rose: Gees, that’s the most colorful dust ball I’ve ever seen.

* Dorothy: I think Margareet’s been inhaling a little too much Pine Sol.

* Blanche: I think she is doing a very good job. Ever since she gave me that potion Norman has been on me like white on rice.

* Rose: She has a really good excuse for being late. She had to go pluck a hair from the chin of a dwarf.

* Blanche: She melted my buttons with the iron. Now I’ll never be able to open my blouse again.
Dorothy: A dark day in the history of mankind.

* Dorothy: Why should I be the one to fire her?
Blanche: You’re the meanest.
Rose: Blanche that’s not true. Dorothy just looks the meanest.

* Dorothy: She meant she’s unhappy that she lost her job, or that she’s going to blow up our kitchen.

* Blanche: You made us fire Margareet and now she’s put a curse on us.

* Sophia: What is this: the Miss Black America Pageant?

* Sophia: You always wear a tiara to clean the toilet?

* Sophia: So what’s all this crap about you putting a curse on my daughter?
Dorothy: We are all going to be turned into kumquats.

* Sophia: Well, that’s that. Anything else you need me to straighten out for you?


Sophia is heading to Phil’s; his daughter is getting married. Blanche and the girls interview prospective house keepers. Blanche laments that everyone they have interviewed has been horrible. The doorbell rings and it’s a woman applying for the housekeeper job. Her name is Margareet Brown. She has a big personality. They get interrupted by a phone call. Norman is cancelling a date with Blanche. Margareet helps by giving Blanche a bottle of what appears to be perfume. Margareet leaves and the ladies discuss what she gave Blanche. Rose thinks it’s a love potion. Then she tells the ladies a St. Olaf story about how her grandparents met. Dorothy goes on to say if it does work, she’d sell her own mother for some. It’s another day and Dorothy comes out on the lanai with a painted rock she found underneath her bed. Margareet overhears and explains it’s a charm she put under Dorothy’s bed to help her get a better night’s sleep. Everyone then discusses the bags under Dorothy’s eyes, and she gets upset. Margareet apologizes. Rose points out that she has been sleeping better and even commenting them about it. Dorothy points out she’s not doing the best job after just a week. Blanche defends her with how much attention Norman is giving her. Rose points out that good things are happening too. Blanche finds the People magazine Dorothy mentioned and hands it to her. Dorothy then hits Rose on the head with it. The next day, Rose is cleaning the kitchen instead of Margareet. Rose tells Dorothy why she is late. Dorothy is not amused. Blanche comes in and shows them melted. She will never open that blouse again. They all decide that they need to talk to her again. Rose tells another St. Olaf story about a teacher named Mrs. Gunderson. Her point: She was a really sweet lady but she couldn’t do the job anymore. They decide to fire Margareet. Blanche is worried it will mess up her relationship with Norman. Blanche tells Dorothy to fire Margareet. Dorothy is shocked but Blanche explains she is the meanest. Rose defends Dorothy. She tells them since they hired her together, they should fire her together. Margareet arrives and then Rose hugs her. She informs them she was late because she is making something for Blanche. The three go to the living room to fire her. Dorothy lowers the boom. Rose backs her up. Margareet is upset. She tells them they are making a big mistake. Moments after she leaves the kitchen makes a sound as if it is blowing up. The sink has blown up and is now spouting enough water to look like a geyser. Another day and Dorothy is barbequing on the lanai. Rose comes out and tells Dorothy how bad a day she had. Dorothy tells her sit, she’ll give her some lemonade. She falls through the chaise lounge she sits on. Dorothy helps her up and gives her the lemonade. Then she gets hit by a softball. Blanche joins them and announces Norman has dumped her. Blanche tells them Margareet has put a curse on them. Rose then lists all the problems they’ve had since firing her. Rose and Blanche want to hire Margareet back. Dorothy informs them there is no such thing as a curse. But during her speech a guy dressed a bird lands in the backyard via parachute. The ladies invite Margareet back. They get roses and champagne. Rose and Blanche treat her like royalty. Margareet wants to explain though. She is shocked by the champagne and roses. They even give her a gift. It’s a tiara. Rose bought it. She tells another St. Olaf story about wanting a tiara but getting freshly carved shoes every year. Sophia comes home during this spectacle. She is a bit surprised. Dorothy introduces Sophia to Margareet. Sophia wants to know what they are celebrating. When she tells Sophia she is the housekeeper, Sophia is a little surprised. Dorothy drags her into the kitchen. In the kitchen, Dorothy tells her to be extra nice to Margareet but not to make her do anything. Dorothy tells her that Margareet put a curse on them. Sophia is not amused. She is shocked how afraid Dorothy is of her. She agrees to play along. They go back in the living room and Sophia immediately asks Margareet about the curse she put on the girls. Dorothy and the girls freak out. Margareet plays dumb. Then realizes something is weird. Blanche asks about the potion but it’s only Chanel No 5. Dorothy asks about the painted rock. But it’s Sophia’s painted rock. It was the first wage she was ever paid. She admits she lied. She is going to school to be a lawyer and she studies in the morning. Everyone apologizes. Sophia finally gets asked about the wedding. It was beautiful.

Categories: The Golden Girls

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