Show: The Golden Girls
Season: 2 Episode: 23
Title: Son-In-Law Dearest
Original Air Date: March 21, 1987
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* Rose: Charlie was a wonderful man, but he could squeeze a nickel till the buffalo pooped.
* Dorothy: Rose, Blanche, this is the part where my good friends are supposed to shut off the tv and run after me. So either shut off the tv or I’m going to hurl it through the window.
* Dorothy: Rose, I don’t want to encourage long stories but it seems in this story you left out the—
Blanche: The story.
* Blanche: Listen Rose, no offense but, I find that story a little hard to believe. You don’t even like to talk about sex.
Rose: Well, it’s been my experience that the people that talk about it a lot don’t do it very often.
* Dorothy: Do not call me Mother Dorothy. I hate it when you call me Mother Dorothy. I feel like I should be handing out rice on the streets of Calcutta.
* Dorothy: You said, “If you could take back this one day, is this still the man you want to spend your life with?”
* Stan: Dennis is here? Somebody hold my hair. I’m going to kill him.
* Dorothy: One sperm with a sense of direction and I’m paying for it for the rest of my life.
* Blanche: You may not be a grandmama yet, but you’re still a great mama.
Blanche has put out a spread for a 12 hour I Love Lucy marathon. Sophia doesn’t like the show. Blanche asks Rose if she wants to watch with her. Rose asks who is in it? She has never seen the show before. They didn’t have a tv. At that Sophia heads off to the bathroom. Dorothy comes out. Rose asks her if she wants to watch I Like Lucy with them. Dorothy’s daughter is coming so she says no. Rose tells Dorothy she is keeping a secret. Sophia walks out asking if she told them she’s going to be a grandma. They all get excited, but Dorothy is not sure. The door bell rings. It’s Stan. He’s come to see Kate. She left him a message. Dorothy tells him they aren’t sure but Kate could be pregnant. The doorbell rings again. This time it is Kate. She tells them her news: Dennis had an affair and she left him. In the kitchen Stan rants about cheating and Dorothy reminds him he did it too. Dorothy and Stan fight. Sophia pops in to see how Kate is. She is very, very upset. Later that night, Blanche and Rose are watching the I Love Lucy marathon. Rose asks Blanche a number of questions about the show. Dorothy comes into the living room and pours out her guts, but the girls are busy laughing at the show. She then threatens to hurl the tv through the window. The two follow her to the kitchen. Dorothy tells them how she reacted the first time she learned Stan had cheated on her. Rose then tells a story about when she thought Charlie had cheated on her. He came home, ate dinner, and went to bed. She tells them that was the first time they didn’t make love after dinner in 18 years of married life. She goes on to tell them the next morning everything was back to normal. They made love after dinner every night and every morning. Blanche thinks it’s a joke as Rose rarely talks about sex. She feels those who talk about it a lot aren’t doing it very often. Blanche gets a bit offended and changes the subject. The doorbell rings, Rose answers it. It is not Stan, it’s Dennis. She attempts to throw him out. He resists and Blanche goes at him as well. Kate suddenly appears. Then Kate tells him to get out too. He just wants to speak with her. So she takes him to the kitchen. It’s an hour later and Dorothy is getting upset again. Dennis suddenly leaves the kitchen. Kate tells Dorothy everything is ok now. Dorothy is furious that she is forgiving him. Dorothy is incensed about it. Kate tells her it was her mistake for coming there and they will leave in the morning. That night Dorothy goes into Sophia’s room. Dorothy is very upset that Kate and Dennis have made up. Sophia says great and wants to go back to her dream. She tells Sophia she told Kate going back to Dennis would be a big mistake and now they are fighting. Sophia tells her a story. She retells the time when Stan cheated on her and she took him back. The next day, Rose tells Rose the schedule for love making that she and Charlie kept. Blanche is jealous. Dorothy comes in and has decided what to do. She wants to get everything off her chest. Stan comes in. He’s upset by the news but Sophia tells him to shut up. Kate comes in. Stan asks Kate about her and her husband. Dorothy decides its time to speak with Dennis. Stan insists on coming. She tells Dennis that seeing your child hurt is the worst pain you an ever experience as a parent. He tells Dorothy he is going to do everything he can to make it up to Kate. She threatens to break every bone in his hand if he does it again. Stan confirms to him Dorothy is not kidding. She hugs them both goodbye. She makes Dennis’s hug extra painful. Stan announces he is heading out too. They hug and she nearly breaks his ribs.
Categories: The Golden Girls