Season: 03 Episode: 09
Title: The Santa in the Slush
Original Air Date: November 27, 2007
Click either link to get a copy.
iTunes Bones, Season 3 – Bones
Favorite Quotes:* Bones: I’m really looking forward to the skeletons in El Brujo.
Max: Yeah, but Christmas and skeletons do not go together.
* Bones: My father is a murderer and thief.
Booth: Well, murderers and thieves, they get Christmas too. That’s kind of the point.
* Booth: It had to Santa.
Cam: You’d think someone who could squeeze up and down chimneys would find a sewer a snap.
* Booth: Christmas is about making the impossible happen.
* Zack: Evidence is evidence whether anyone is there to hear it or not.
* Bones: The Santa myth is based on blackmail. “Be good or you won’t get any presents.”
* Caroline: I want you to kiss him under some mistletoe.
Bones: Kiss Booth?
Caroline: That’s right, Cherie.
Caroline: Because it will amuse me.
* Caroline: It’s Christmas and I have a puckish side that will not be denied.
* Caroline: You want me to write that letter. You kiss Booth on the lips for one steamboat, two steamboats—five steamboats.
Bones: That’s blackmail.
Caroline: That’s correct.
Bones: That’s unethical.
Caroline: That’s the deal. Take it or leave it.
* Bones: Was that enough steamboats?
Caroline: Plenty. A whole flotilla.
* Booth: I don’t know what that means, but Merry Christmas.
Two mall elves take a break outside. One smells something weird. They both investigate. They find a decomposing body. Bones visits her father in jail. She tells her dad she is going to Peru for Christmas. A new pyramid was discovered. They discuss Christmas’s past. She gets called away to look at a dead person. In the car, Bones tells Booth that her father would like to have a Christmas with the family. Booth is not looking forward to Christmas because he won’t be seeing Parker. Bones and Booth arrive at the scene. Cam is already waiting. She makes a joke and Booth doesn’t laugh. At the lab, they examine the body. Cam thinks its 36 to 48 hours. She asks Hodgins to check the bugs for a date. Bones visits Russell. She tells him about the possibly of Christmas. They argue. He doesn’t want the girls to know he’s a criminal. Bones finds Booth asleep on her couch in her office. On the platform, Angela finds the situation incredulous and funny. Cam informs them that the prints come back to someone who worked for the school as a Santa Claus. His legal name is Kris Kringle. His address is a toy store. When they go into his apartment, it’s just like Christmas. Bones finds a picture of Kris with a reindeer. It could be the one that kicked him. Booth goes through the drawers and finds a hidden compartment full of cash. They speak to the building manager. Booth and bones have an argument. They find out where he worked. Turns out the building owner made a toy based on Kris’s idea. It became quite popular. Kris stopped paying his rent after that. Booth wants Russ to wear civilian clothes and just let her dad be in prison clothes. Tell the kids he flew in. Back at the lab, Zack tells Cam he’s going home for Christmas. Cam tells him she’ll be stuck on a family cruise. Booth and Bones go to the temp agency to speak to his boss. They inform other Santa’s that Kris was murdered. All the other Santa’s are upset. Many tell stories of how Kris helped them. He wouldn’t work on Christmas Eve but would every other day of the year. Hodgins gives Cam a very technical breakdown of what was in the victim’s stomach. It’s a rare and expensive thing to eat. Hodgins lets Bones and Booth know about the soup. Bones asks him to take her to his office, she’s meeting with Caroline there. Caroline asks what’s the point with her being out of the country. They have a very strange conversation about what can happen and what can’t. Caroline says she will make the recommendation under one condition: Bones must kiss Booth on the mouth, under some mistletoe. Bones asks why. It will amuse Caroline. Bones is not amused. She wants the kiss to last five steamboats. Bones tries to counter to get a tree, but Caroline can’t do that. She tries to counter with taking Caroline to dinner, but no deal. Bones must think on this. Back at the crime scene, Booth questions a restaurant employee. Hodgins finds a huge cockroach in the garbage can. Hodgins finds a few wallets in the dumpster too. Booth posits that Santa could have been a pickpocket and leaves Hodgins in the dumpster. Booth meets with Parker at the diner. He tells Parker that Bones is having Christmas in Peru. Bones is not pleased with how much Booth liked to Parker. Booth interviews someone that got mugged by Santa. $900 in cash in his wallet was taken. It was just a slight bump. He explains what happened. After the altercation, he left quickly so people would not accuse him of being a terrorist. Booth goes to Bone’s office. He finds her putting up mistletoe. She explains to him what is going on. She tells him Caroline is on the way. Caroline arrives. She pushes Booth right under it. They kiss and it’s more than five steamboats. Caroline tells her the trailer is all arranged. She then leaves. Bones and Booth are quite awkward around each other now. Booth has Bones’ gum as well. Elsewhere in the lab, Angela tries to start some holiday traditions with Hodgins. At the diner, Booth and Bones meet with Sweets who is wearing an elf hat. Bones finds it horrifying that people lie to kids around Christmas. Sweets explains it and she accept it. She then goes to visit Russ. She tells him they can lie to the girls and she will bring him regular clothes to wear for the Christmas visit. She informs him Burma no longer exists, so it was a bad lie. And there won’t be a tree. Bones won’t be there because it will be Christmas Eve and she will be on the plane to Peru. At the lab, Zack identifies the murder weapon. It’s one of the brass bells the Santa’s use. The two test the bells for blood. One Santa refuses to cooperate and Booth gets cranky as he explains his Christmas has been ruined. The Santa’s bell tests positive. It’s explained that they don’t always use the same bells. They are all identical and they pick up any bell for each shift. Since they can’t determine from the bells, Bones wants to sniff the butts of the suits for the soup. The guy who had the bell that tested positive for blood also has the soup smell on his suit. All the other Santa’s sing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” to him. The song continues as Max is taken to the trailer. Booth returns the stolen money to the guard. Russ’s girlfriends and kids arrive at the trailer. The lab has an office party. An officer brings Parker to Booth’s office. Max helps the two girls decorate the trailer. Bones looks at her passport and ticket. Booth calls Rebecca so she knows Parker is safe. Russ arrives at the trailer in normal clothes. Bones arrives at the trailer surprising everyone. Booth explains to Parker they get to spend Christmas together and then he has to take him to Vermont. In the trailer Max tells Bones it’s the best Christmas he has had in 16 years. Booth calls Bones. He has Parker. He tells them to come to the window and open the blinds. He’s outside with a Christmas tree, lights, and all. He’s plugged it in to his truck.