Show: The Big Bang Theory
Title: The Griffin Equivalency
Original Air Date: October 13, 2008
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* Sheldon: Frankly, it would be more hygienic if they just had a plague infested Gibbon sneeze my hands dry.
* Sheldon: OH! There’s my missing neutrino! You were hiding from me as an unbalanced charge, weren’t you, you little subatomic Dickens?
* Sheldon: I sense you’re trying to tell me something.
Howard: You were a colossal ass-hat.
* Leonard: Let’s try it this way, what if this people magazine thing is the best Raj is ever going to achieve?
Sheldon: I had not considered that. I often forget other people have limitations. It’s just sad.
* Raj: They are going to digitally add a supernova. They said it’s a perfect metaphor for my incandescent talent.
Sheldon: It’s a ball of hot, flaming gas that collapses upon itself.
* Sheldon: There’s a tribe in Papua New Guinea where when a hunter flaunts his success to the rest of the village they kill him and drive away evil spirits with a drum made out of his skin.
* Howard: Sheldon, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re insane.
Synopsis: Leonard distributes the food. Howard makes some comments towards Penny and she forces him to relocate. Sheldon uses a baby wipe to clean his hands. Penny asks him why. They changed to hand dryers. Then Penny asks about the hand dryers. Sheldon does lots of educating and Penny looks grossed out. Raj comes in with exciting news and as soon as he sees Penny goes silent. Penny says she will leave so Raj can talk and she would like to escape Howard. Raj then tells them about a discovery that got him into a magazine. Sheldon requires explanation. Sheldon becomes jealous. He finds it offensive that Raj is getting notoriety for accidentally discovering something. In his office, Sheldon finds his missing neutrino. Leonard and Howard pop in and tell Sheldon they are going to apologize to Raj. He thinks he was supportive of Raj when he was really not. Leonard gets through to Sheldon and the three go to see Raj. Sheldon tries to smile but it looks more like the Joker. The three invite him out to dinner. Their boss comes in and makes a big deal over Raj. He even gives him a new office. He then invites Raj to lunch at the President’s Dining room. That night Raj and the guys go to dinner. He tells them about the photo shoot. He then gets a call from his assistant. He then tells them that he got them invited to the People reception, but not the VIP section. Sheldon shares a quote about hubris with Raj. Penny brings Raj another drink. Each person in turn turns down the People party. Raj then invites Penny and she accepts. Raj has a date with Penny sort of. The night of the party Raj is already drinking. He manages to offend Penny right off the bat. He greets Leonard and Leonard is perturbed. In the apartment Howard, is being a jerk in a new way. Leonard gives everyone their food. Sheldon gets upset because his chicken is shredded. Sheldon tells a story about when he was 8 and their cat got run over. He wanted a griffin as his new pet. He wanted to create it himself. Howard gets annoyed by his story and demands to know what the point of the story is. Leonard, shocked, asks if he wants to breed a new friend. Howard and Leonard have trouble digesting that one. Penny brings Raj back very drunk. He makes a hideous pass at him and tries to run for it. His parents call. They wind up insulting Penny on so many levels. Penny gives it right back to them. And she takes off. The next morning, Penny finds Raj at her door with a note. She gives him the note back and demands he speaks. He squeaks out, “sorry.” She gives him a hug. Leonard observes and thinks that Raj stayed over.